Arranged Marriage
by snowflakesanddandelions
Summary: When Voldemort killed Harry, he stayed dead, and Voldemort took over England. To save Draco's life, Lucius Malfoy arranges for Draco to marry a rich guy who lives in New Zealand- Gabriel Farbautison. Gabrico. MxM. M for thematic content, more in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is actually cowritten with thewindinthemeadow. T for emotional stress and suggestive content at the moment, although mild smut is possible in later chapters. MxM. Possible spoilers for season 13. Draco is pretty miserable at the start; if you don't want to read that, I suggest doing a search for "fluff." SNS.  
**

 _Draco_

I was pretty scared already, since I knew Voldemort was going to kill me. So it was just one more thing. I had to leave everybody I know and might never see again anyway and go to some strange country in the freaking Southern Hemisphere and marry a random dude. Gabriel Something. Okay.

So, I wasn't that freaked out. I mean, I was, but I guess I was just so shocked that nothing mattered anymore. I'm a total failure. I couldn't kill Dumbledore, my parents don't care about me, I have to marry some _dude_. Not a chick. A dude. So what's a few thousand miles? It's not like I could feel any more lost.

At least, that's how I felt until I got on the plane to leave. Then it hit me that I was going away from Mom. My father- I guess you could say he cares about me, but he doesn't love me. But Mom, I knew this would hit her hard. And I missed her. She's the only person who I knew will always love me even if I'm girly and pathetic and can't kill a fly.

I took out the picture of the guy who is marrying me. He looks weird. Sorta pouty and annoying. I hope he will just leave me alone in my room most of the time so I don't have to deal with the sense of humor I'm sure he has. Who knows? Maybe I won't mind him. His hair is kind of sweet. All golden and floppy and perfectly messy. And those fierce eyes! Maybe he will defend me like my father couldn't. The guy has eyes like an eagle, only better. I don't know how those eyes can exist. They're not beautiful so much as awesome. But I'm getting ahead of myself. He might hate me and throw me in a basement handcuffed to cry for all I know. Or use me as his boytoy until I bleed to death. Okay, that was morbid. I'm being a miserable Slytherin again. Wouldn't Father be proud?

Do you suppose he will marry me immediately? Do you suppose he has morals or will just want to mess around and marry me whenever? Or maybe he won't marry me at all. Maybe he won't like me. I know I'm not really masculine enough even to be a girl. I'm so pathetic, it's a wonder Dad didn't throw me out on my naked butt to die the day I was born. I hope this guy will like me okay, though. That will make one of us.

Could Gabriel- Farbautison- treat me decently? Maybe. I can't really imagine that his fierce eyeballs would let him get away with crap. He just seems- maybe scary, ok, definitely scary, but not- like, evil. You know, not the serial killer type. He seems like a righteous guy, but in pain. And definitely has a sense of humor. I hope I survive that part. Imagine what Father would think if I start cracking jokes? But I guess it doesn't matter what he thinks of me anymore.

I'm scared. But this has to happen, so I guess I'll just wait it out. I'll die someday anyway.

 _Gabriel_

I have something to add to my list of things not to let Loki talk me into. An arranged marriage to a human I've never met. Apparently, Loki gave a bunch of people special powers and told them his name was Salazar something-or-other. I'm not a detail oriented person.

Then someone called Voldelope (or maybe that wasn't his name. I would've remembered if it rhymed with antelope) went all smash everybody and wants to kill some kid. So now I'm marrying the kid. Weird, right? I'm not sure how Loki got the idea that I needed to marry this Draco guy, but apparently that's the plan.

So Draco was flying over, and we'd get married tonight. I've been married before, but it was never arranged. So this is kinda new. Is he going to freak out on me or something? What if he, like, decides he'd rather die than marry me? Although that would stop a lot of the awkwardness I'm sure is coming. OK, that was a slightly mean thought. I need to grow up if I'm going to get married again.

I mean, the last time it was this girl I got plastered with in Vegas, and then she wanted a divorce. I don't think she even remembered getting married. Hopefully, this thing with Draco will go better. And if he actually liked me, maybe it would be nice to have someone with a heart around. So, like, not a pagan god.

Loki's great and all; he's a good friend, but you get lonely with just gods around. I don't know. What if Draco just wants to live and hates my guts? Or worse, what if his dad wants him to live and he doesn't even care about that? If I have to deal with a suicidal human, I have no idea what I'd do.

I ended up pulling the picture of him out of my pocket to look at. He looked kinda pale and silly, but I guess he is young. And humans grow really fast. Oh no. What do I do when he dies? Humans live, like, a hundred years tops. I could bring him back, I suppose. Or I could just move on like I did all the other times I got attached.

His eyes were pretty, I noted. Scared looking, but bright and alive, and deep, sort of like the sky. I could probably get attached to the kid. Would that be another mistake I'd regret for millenia? Oh, who cared. I'll survive. I always have.

 _Draco_

I got off the plane and collected my baggage. I looked around- the guy was supposed to meet me at this point. Then I saw him, leaning against a wall. He hadn't been there a few seconds ago. Odd. He had that stupid goofy grin, but I easily caught that he was staring at me sharply. Was he- worried about me? I didn't know.

I grabbed my suitcase more firmly. "I'm Draco Malfoy," I said, a little defiantly.

"Yeah, I , uh, have your picture?" he said saucily, waving it in my face.

"Right," I said. "Well, let's get it over with. I want to get my stuff in the car and take a nap."

"Car? Oh, yeah, sure, I have a car," he said, a little off-handedly.

Of course, he was probably a wizard.

"I mean, whatever transportation- our kind- have in your country, is fine," I said, a little quieter.

"Cars work. I can do cars. Especially sports cars," said Gabriel.

"Um, okay- Mr- er, what exactly. Sorry." I ducked my head. "I'm stupid. I just- tell me what you want me to call you- until we're married."

"Gabriel's fine. Can I call you Draco?"

"Of course," I said, hopefully smoothly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Gabriel." I winced and hoped he didn't notice, but who was I fooling? The guy had eyes like a hawk.

I let him take some of my stuff, and we went to his car. He rented a hot pink '67 Chevy Impala. I thought it was sort of a girl's car, but maybe he wouldn't despise my intestines if he was a little weird too. I was going to hop in the back- until he opened the passenger door for me. I waved my cap at him and sat down. He got in the driver's seat, of course. I shut my eyes. I didn't want to know where we were going until I absolutely had to. Not surprisingly, I drifted off in a few seconds.

 _Gabriel_

Minor problem. I should've made a house instead of freaking out earlier. I had nowhere to take Draco. Luckily, he was asleep. That would buy me a little time. And if I needed to, it wouldn't take much grace to keep him out for longer. I made sure he wasn't going to wake up, then picked a rural plot of land.

House building was complicated, so I teleported bits and pieces of my safe houses from various locations and used my grace to make them a coherent picture. It was challenging, and a little loud, but Draco was way too exhausted to notice noise. Poor kid.

I know he's scared of me. Even if I couldn't read his mind, his body language would've given him away. I'm not the reassuring type, so I'm not sure how to avoid scaring him. Obviously, no trying to broach the whole pagan god thing, much less the archangel thing, for a long while. Draco thinks I'm a wizard.

It's a little insulting, but it's definitely for the best. I finished the house in about two hours. I'd worked hard to make it feel like a home. I want Draco to believe me when I say I've lived there for a couple years. He'll probably end up thinking I cleaned it specially because he was coming, but messes are easy to make and hard to snap up. I'm not normally a neat person at all.

I mean, hunters _always_ catch me because I forget to clean up the candy wrappers that seem to collect automatically on the ground wherever I go. I don't feel like I eat that much candy, but unless father is playing a cosmic, multi-century joke on me, I must be eating all that candy.

What if Draco picks on me for eating too much candy? That would be a nightmare. I'll do a lot for this relationship, but giving up candy is just not an option. But Draco seems pretty nervous and desperate for my approval, so I can't see him causing too much trouble about anything.

I set up a bunch of wards around the house. I don't want Draco to get hurt when I inevitably stop paying attention to boring things like safety. My attention span is bad. I pulled into the driveway and stopped.

 _Draco_

I woke up when the car stopped. We were in Gabriel's driveway. The house was beautiful, and tears pricked my eyes. I wiped them away desperately. I couldn't let Gabe see me crying. I just wished that I could have lived at this house under better circumstances. I bet it had five swimming pools and two libraries. Probably a lot of bedrooms, too. I wondered if Gabriel would give me my own room, or make me live in his. It might depend on when we got married. I had never shared a bed with anyone before. Maybe I could have my own bed in Gabriel's room, and sort of climb in if we felt like it? Once we're married, I mean. I hope I wouldn't be sharing his room before we're married. That would be weird.

For some reason, my eyes refused to stop crying once they'd started. I turned away hoping Gabriel wouldn't see them. I really didn't want him to hate me. I got out my door and started trying to open the trunk.

I should have just given up _before_ I scraped all the skin off my knuckles and broke a fingernail. Once I had, though, where was my dignity if I quit?

Gabriel came over and stood behind me. He hesitated, not sure what to do. Then he snapped his fingers, and the trunk popped open. It hit me on the head. Not his fault. I'm stupid; I should have stepped back. I kind of collapsed against him and kept crying. I noticed that my hands were also healed. That was some pretty cool unspoken magic.

"Can you teach me that?" I asked.

"It's tricky magic. Some people can't get it, but you can try," Gabriel said. "It's one of those annoying you either get it or you don't things."

"Maybe later," I said, pulling away but smiling at him so he'd know I wasn't mad or anything. "I think I must be tired- how beat up can a guy get just opening some stupid trunk." Tears threatened to fall again, but I tried Mom's whole stiff upper lip thing. Turns out it's a pile of fooey. All I could do was ignore the tears and watched Gabriel carry all three of my suitcases, plus two duffle bags and a couple of carry-ons, without even blinking. It was pretty amusing.

"It's probably the jet lag. Happens to a lot of people on those mortal airplanes."

I had no idea what he was talking about. I guess I'd already forgotten whatever we were talking about. I followed him inside, and he set my stuff down in the living room.

Picture couch heaven, and that was his living room. It was like a piano store where the pianos were couches. Also, it was super beautiful aesthetically. There were cookies and music and the walls were all different colors, but so pretty! I loved the living room already, although maybe it was a little big. I suppose the guy probably had like multiple house elves or something. That would explain how neat the house was. I grabbed a cookie and turned to Gabriel, watching for our next move. It could be a lot of things. He could shove me against the wall. He could show me my room. He could dismiss me to go do nothing. He could ask me what I wanted for supper. I looked at him and shrugged.

"So, what do you like to eat? Please tell me you're not one of those health nuts," Gabriel said.

I blinked. "What's a health nut? I never paid too much attention to food. It never seemed to be as important as- other things." School, Father's opinions, listening to my parents fight 24/7, trying to impress people without getting myself killed- Hermione's voice echoed in my head "or worse, expelled…" God, she was such a fluff-head.

I shook my head. "Whatever you have is fine. I'm not picky."

"Salad, apple pizza, and cream pie ok?"

I nodded half-heartedly. What was cream pie? Salad and apple pizza would be okay. I'd never had apple pizza, but it didn't sound bad, and there was always the salad. How could cream pie be bad, though?

I was pretty shocked when he snapped his fingers and we were in his dining room. I assume. I was sitting down, which was so confusing!

"Can you not snap me places?" I asked.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he said at the same time. We both laughed a little.

I looked down at my plate. Interesting. The cream pie was the (huge) centerpiece, with apple pizza seated delicately behind it on another plate, and salad- under the cream pie?! What on Earth? I supposed I would have to get used to some cultural changes in the new country. New- Z-Land? Something like that. But seriously, dessert over salad? I made a face and started eating some lettuce- ok, nibbling- from around the cream pie.

It was actually really good lettuce- you wouldn't think. I mean, lettuce is usually just- lettuce. I guess- I don't know. I ended up eating more than usual, and when I stopped, I felt satisfied. On a whim, I stuffed my entire face in the cream pie. After all, Father couldn't see me anyway. It was kind of fun. I got cream all over my face. Then I had a crazy idea. Maybe a bad idea, but maybe not.

"Hey, Gabriel, wanna come 'help' me get this cream pie off my face?" I asked.

"It's beautifully decorative," Gabriel commented. "Goes well with your complexion. I think I'll try it too." He buried his face in his cream pie.

I couldn't reach to lick him with the table in the way, so instead I threw what was left of my cream pie at him. Got him in the face. Not that he could've gotten any more pie on him- he already had cream all over his face and pie crust in his hair and on his nose. It looked so funny, just a pair of fierce, golden-hazel eyes staring out of a bunch of fluffy sugar. Now he had graham-cracker crust all over his face, too.

He licked his lips, trying to be seductive, but just looked silly and- I don't know. Huggable. I imitated him, licking all the pie I could reach off my own face. Then I used some of the cream as hair gel. I must've looked pretty ridiculous, but I think I was having the most fun I'd had in my entire life. I wondered if being married to Gabriel wouldn't be so bad.

Gabriel got the stupidest grin on his face, and I wondered what he was thinking.

"Penny for your thoughts, Marshmallow Boy," I offered.

"Can I have a real penny so I can spin it?" he asked.

I dug out a Knut and tossed it to him. "Best I can do," I said.

I watched Gabriel carefully. I wondered if he was having fun. Did he actually _like_ me? Was I at least okay? Did I botch something by throwing cream pie in his face? He seemed like he was just legitimately enjoying being a goofball, but how would I know? I'd only met him- today, actually. It had been a really long day, starting at 4:00 am English time, 3 pm New Zealand time, a 23-hour flight ending at 4:30 am English time, 3:30 pm New Zealand time, and now it was- I checked my watch, which was now in New Zealand time- 6:30 pm New Zealand time, which was 7:30 in the morning back in the U.K. It didn't really feel like 7:30 in the morning, though. It felt more like 45:00 in the evening- waay past my bedtime, but I don't sleep well in planes. I don't think anybody sleeps well when they know they have to leave behind everything they've ever known to escape being murdered.

I mean, I was used to not getting too much sleep the past year. I was so worried about having to try to kill Dumbledore that I pretty much didn't get a lot of sleep. I guess you could say I was living on adrenaline, but not really. I just felt exhausted, miserable, and depressed all the time. Maybe I will sleep for a week now. I can blame it on jet lag. If I knew Gabriel would leave me alone and not get mad or throw me out, I would probably just collapse right now and forget the waking world for at least 14 hours. But that's probably not going to happen. For all I know, he's a party boy who will want me to get used to staying up until all hours of the morning and is going to try to marry me at midnight or some stupidness. Well, the world is what it is, and if that happens, it's not on me if I collapse. I could use some quiet time and IV fluids anyway. Maybe a nice coma. I noticed Gabriel was starting to look really worried about me. Was he reading my thoughts without permission or something? Maybe my face just really looked that tired and miserable. I realized I'd forgotten to cover up my raccoon eyes with makeup like I usually did. That must've been it.

"Are you ok?" Gabriel asked bluntly.

My mind whirled. Did Gabriel actually care about me? Was he just asking to be polite? Gabriel seemed pretty smart, so I figured lying wouldn't help. Besides, I really had no reason to lie to Gabriel- yet.

"I- not really," I said. "It's, um, just, you know, jet lag and stress and stuff probably." Then I started crying.

Gabriel studied me critically for a moment before snapping his fingers.

 _Gabriel_

I'm not good with crying humans. They're just- complicated, and I'm never sure what I'm supposed to be doing. And Draco was exhausted, so it made sense to knock him out, right? It wasn't like I was scared and panicking with no clue what to do or how to keep Draco from hating me forever.

So I snapped my fingers, he dropped, I caught him, etc. That bit was easy.

So then I… um. I didn't plan this bit. What am I planning to do again?

I heard him freaking out earlier cause he worried I'd make him sleep in my bed before we were married. I'd been thinking to marry him tonight before he slept anywhere but my car, so it wouldn't be an issue. Now I'd put him to sleep before we got married. I couldn't wake him up to quickly run through the ceremony.

He'd probably panic if he woke up in my bed, even though I wouldn't do anything weird or anything. I have three guest bedrooms in here, but I didn't bother with details like making them comfortable. I wasn't expecting guests anytime soon.

Would Draco be mad if he woke in my bedroom, and I hadn't slept there? I only sleep when I feel like it; it's not like I need to. I focussed more on my bedroom than anywhere else when I was constructing this house, so it's pretty obviously my bedroom.

That was the only plan I could come up with, so I put it into place. For now, at least, it worked. Draco slept soundly all night.

I kept an eye on him while flying over to Europe to play pranks on jerks. It was soothing, watching a bunch of scumbags get their just deserts. Draco was still asleep when I got back. It looked like he was actually resting and starting to recover, so I counted that as a win. I hope he's feeling better in the morning.

 _Draco_

When I woke up, it was dark, and I was lying in what I assumed was a bed. I felt like I had slept forever, but I was so tired! Then I remembered that I was in Gabriel's house. I must have fallen asleep on him. Oh, well. He couldn't be that mad if I was still in his house. I pulled the covers over my head, then realized I was boiling hot and threw them off. Then I realized how comfy they had been and decided to go cuddle with my pile of blankets and sheets on the floor instead of putting them back on the bed. It wasn't like I needed or deserved some fancy-ass mattress. I hadn't slept in a bed since- well, okay, I did for a few nights after school- hmm, ended. But other than that, not since forever. So why bother?

Somehow I guess I fell asleep again. I didn't get a chance to check my watch, but I thought it had been a long time. Well, never mind. As long as Gabriel wasn't stopping me, I was just gonna sleep. How mad could he be, if I was just on the floor? I'm sure he had plenty of blankets.

I woke up back in bed. Gabriel must have tucked me back in. The thought of him carrying me made me blush. I was sort of grateful that I hadn't been awake for that, although I also kind of- wouldn't've minded so much. Having somebody look at me like I'm a person and be kind to me and stuff is pretty new to me, and I have to say, it's kinda hot. Part of me just wants to curl up on Gabriel's chest and stay there until Voldemort is dead and everybody else forgets about me.

There was a tap on the door.

I freaked out. I jumped out of bed and tried to hide.

"Who is it?!" I asked, pretty terrified.

"It's me," said Gabriel's voice. I sighed with relief. "Can I come in?" he asked.

I ran to the door and opened it. "Don't scare me like that!" I begged, kind of staring at him. I gave up on deciding what I should do and just hugged him.

Gabriel tensed but then hugged me back.

"It's okay, Kiddo," he said. I wiped the tears out of my eyes.

"I'm sorry," I said, a little stiffly. I wasn't mad at Gabriel or anything, just not sure how to handle myself. "I- I didn't mean to get your shirt all wet."

"It's just a shirt," said Gabriel, looking innocently confused. "Nothing to worry about."

Well, now what was I supposed to say? Aha, I had it.

"Did you want to come in?"

"I just came to see if you wanted breakfast," he offered.

I sniffled and nodded. "What do you have?"

"Pancakes?"

I nodded again. "Do I need to change first? Um, I mean, dress myself?"

"If you want. I mean, you can just wear pajamas all day. It's what I do whenever I think I can get away with it," Gabriel replied.

I shrugged. "I'm not really a big pajamas person," I said apologetically. "Dad would throw a fit if he knew I was marrying a guy who likes to wear pajamas all day."

"Yikes, fussy dad. I don't think my dad would've noticed if I went naked," said Gabriel.

I blushed fifty shades of crimson and ran back into the bedroom. I was debating trying to hide under the bed when I realized how pointless and pathetic that would be. Suddenly it occurred to me that blushing and trying to escape whenever Gabriel even mentioned hypothetically being naked wasn't going to work very well when we were- married. EW!

Gabriel was in stitches. I pulled a blanket over my head so he couldn't see how embarrassed and horrified I was at having made such a fool of myself.

"See you downstairs," said Gabriel. He shut the door and left. I looked down and understood why he'd shut the door. Dammit.

I ran into the adjoining bathroom and stared at my face in the mirror. Why would Gabriel want to marry me? Dad must've paid him a lot of money. I grabbed a towel and took a long, cold shower, hoping I'd just freeze to death and get it over with. Then I threw on a tux just to annoy Mr. Pajamas and combed my hair before attempting to locate some stairs.

It took me a few minutes to find the kitchen. Gabriel was throwing darts at the ceiling and flipping pancakes onto piles that were already at least a foot high with huge fluffy pancakes a third of an inch thick and as big around as dinner plates. I probably ate less in a typical day at home than just one of those pancakes. I hoped Gabriel wouldn't be disappointed if I couldn't eat very many.

"Hi," I said softly.

"Hello! Pancake?" Gabriel offered cheerfully. Good, he wasn't mad at me. He did try to offer me gluey strawberry syrup, though, and I could see from his own pancakes that- um, yeah, it was mostly red dye and high fructose corn syrup. He did have real butter and real maple syrup, though. He even had that puffy stuff they serve on your pancakes at restaurants. I sighed and grabbed the organic dark chocolate syrup- you can't have pancakes without good chocolate. I added a little whipped cream and dug in. I ate about a third of a pancake before I felt full and sleepy.

"Do you want to get married now or wait 'til the afternoon?" Gabriel asked out of the blue.

He was lucky I was half-asleep, or I would've told him I didn't want to marry him. Instead, I said,

"Don't we need some time to pick out clothes and a church and stuff?"

"What kind of church do you want to get married in?"

I thought about that. I hadn't really thought too much about the logistics of getting married- figured that was Mom's job, or Dad's if he was particular about anything. I guess I had imagined getting married in some kind of fancy gothic or stained-glass churchy type thing with flowers everywhere and me in a tux, my fiance in a flowy white dress- well, that wouldn't do for Gabriel. I supposed we could both wear tuxes.

"Did you already make us reservations somewhere?" I asked. I hadn't expected to him to let me have any say; maybe he hadn't expected that either. I figured any vaguely religious building would be alright, as long as we were both dressed up and said something and gave each other rings. And of course, we needed somebody to marry us. I would understand if Gabriel wanted to avoid having more than few witnesses to make it harder for Dark wizards to track me down.

"I hadn't thought that far ahead," Gabriel admitted. "I think there's a nice church a couple miles that way." He waved his hand vaguely.

I nodded. "What's it look like?" I had thought I hadn't cared, but now that I had a choice (apparently), I wanted to at least see the church before I got married in it.

"I dunno. Let's go look."

"Sure," I said. "Do you suppose they're open? Oh, is it a Muggle church, by the way?"

Gabriel blinked. "What's a muggle?"

"Oh. Non-magical people. You know. They call them nomags in the colonies."

"Probably?"

"I don't suppose they'd have a website?" I asked mildly. "That would also be a good way to find out if they do weddings."

Gabriel pulled a laptop out of a cabinet. Surprise, surprise, the internet was good to go. Still, I wasn't 100% sure he'd really lived here before. Seriously, he's marrying someone with a price on their head, who wouldn't want to move to a new safe house?

The little church, definitely a Muggle operation, was very cute, and we agreed it would be perfect. Gabriel called the office, and I don't know what he told them, but apparently they were happy marrying us. There may have been some under-the-table something involved, I don't know.

"Awesome," I said. "Now we just need fancy clothes and some rings."

"Righto, rings," Gabriel said. He snapped his fingers. I had the sense to close my eyes. When I opened them, we were in a mall, in front of a jewelry store.

I ended up looking at a blue zircon ring set in some kind of silvery colored metal. Gabriel found a wild but kind of elegant silver ring with about 30 alexandrite gems set all the way around it. I ignored the prices, since Gabriel seemed to be okay with them, so we checked out. I was maybe a little disappointed that it hadn't been some kind of deep bonding experience, picking out rings, but hey, Gabriel was probably new to this too. Hopefully we'd have more time to figure things out after the wedding.

"I wish there was some way we could make them, like, matching rings," I said, a little surprised at myself. But we'd already bought them, so this was probably impossible and just going to upset Gabriel for no reason. Oh, well.

"Sure, we could go buy more rings," said Gabriel. "Or, we could like, use magic to make these match or something."

I tried not to look shocked. "Um, okay," I said, trying to be lighthearted or something. "Didn't know we were that rich."

"Money's never really been a problem," Gabriel said, smirking.

"Can we use magic?" I asked.

Gabriel looked very pleased with himself. "Of course we can, pumpkin dearest. Don't fret for a thing, my little sugar cube."

I took this as a cue to look sappy and lean my head on Gabriel's shoulder. Gabriel put his arm around me and snapped us home.

The ring magic thing was amazing. Somehow he managed to infuse all of the gemstones in both rings with some kind of glowing- something. Iridescent didn't cut it. It was like stardust and unicorns and the moon in the water.

Gabriel looked really nervous. "Do you like it?" he asked, almost begged me.

I decided we were ready to try kissing.

I was really nervous at first, but it was- kinda really awesome, even though we stayed in our own mouths. I wasn't really ready to go that far, and I guess Gabriel didn't want to push me. He definitely kissed me back, though. I ended up having to tip my head sideways because our noses got in the way. That's when Gabriel put his arms around me. I got a little nervous and I guess I stopped us. When I looked up at Gabriel, he didn't look mad or disappointed or bored or worried. He just looked- I don't know how to describe it. Like I was some kind of super-valuable treasure, and like he was the happiest man on Earth. I looked at my shoes, not sure what to do with that. Gabriel tried to lift my chin and get me to look at him, so I buried my face in his chest instead. It seemed like that was okay with him.

"Gabriel, the wedding rings are flippin' awesome," I muttered.

"Thank you," Gabriel replied. "That- means more to me than you know."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"For what, kiddo?"

"I'm sorry nobody told you how cool you are. Somehow you lived your life and nobody saw that you are so amazing."

"You wouldn't say that if you knew me," said Gabriel. "I'm a screw-up."

I couldn't believe the pain in his voice. I didn't know what to say, since I didn't even know what he thought he did.

"Gabriel- a screw-up- well, that's not a thing. Everybody h-has some reason for being here, it's just I don't know what mine is a-and Dad- I disappointed him so bad- a-and that's why there's a price on my head, and my parents are in danger, too, and I can't stop it, and I can't stop V-Volde-m-mort. I know now that he- he's wrong and it's really bad, but all I ever wanted was to be okay with Dad, and now I feel like he disowned me, but i-it's not like it's his fault I'm worthless and can't even follow instructions, and-" I couldn't say any more for sobbing.

"You're not worthless," Gabriel offered. "And honestly, following instruction is overrated."

I chuckled darkly. "Dad didn't seem to think so. But I'm glad you think I'm not so awful."

"Everyone makes mistakes. It doesn't make them awful," Gabriel defended. "Well, most of them."

"You must've done some pretty good things, though," I argued. "Like rescue a little thin-haired blond kitten with nowhere to go."

"I did do that," Gabriel said. He nuzzled my hair. I smiled and put my arms around his neck.

"I think I'm going to fall in love with you," I said.

"Well, you'd better," said Gabriel. "We're going to be married."

I licked his earlobe. "That's what you get for turning down a perfectly good compliment, Lollipop Brains."

"I don't mind," Gabriel whispered, breath on my ear.

"I guess we better tone it down a notch," I said. "I think I'd rather wait until we're at least married, and preferably know you better."

"Let's get married fast, then," Gabriel said.

"Is that a proposal?" I teased. "Because if so you'd better get on one knee."

Gabriel dropped to one knee in a heartbeat. He waved his arms desperately at me and stared melodramatically into my eyes, then looked down at his cupped hands. "O my beloved, you must marry me, or I shall die!" he intoned, ending with a slight giggle.

I couldn't let him get away with this or he'd never be serious when I needed him to be.

So I got down on one knee, too.

"Gabriel Ferguson, if thou doest not marry me, I too shall die, and I swifter than thee. Wilt thou marry thine own true beloved?"

"I shall love thee with a love deeper than that of Romeo for Juliet," breathed Gabriel. "Always hated that book," he added snarkily.

I patted his head. "Worry thou not. Such folly is not for the true of heart nor the wise of temperament."

"Ah, never really been wise, but-" Gabriel's face settled into what looked like an actual emotion. "Marry me?"

I froze. What, exactly, was the procedure for accepting the proposal when you were kneeling yourself?

I took Gabriel's hands and pressed them to his heart.

"Gabriel, I will be yours as long as we both aren't dead," I said, hoping that was right.

"Forever and a day," Gabriel swore honestly. Then he leaned forward. He was going to kiss me. I had no idea what to do. I decided to bop noses instead.

It didn't actually work. We did bump noses, and then there were lips on my lips again, and I got lost again. Everything was Gabriel.

I don't remember who pulled away first. It didn't seem too important. We just breathed and looked at each other for a minute or two.

"Gabriel, why do you want to marry me?" I blurted. "Sorry." I winced. "I wasn't gonna say that." By now, I was just making it worse.

 _Gabriel_

I'd been expecting that to come up at some point, but it still caught me a little off guard.

"Draco, I'm alone," I started. "It wasn't supposed to be like that, but it is, and- I get lonely really easily. I miss my family, but I can't go back. So I-" To my dismay, my eyes filled involuntarily with tears. Curse these weak, mortal bodies. "I want a long term bond with someone. I didn't realise how much I wanted it until Loki noticed and- ah- arranged our marriage."

I shouldn't've said all that. Humans don't look for weakness in a prospective mate. And Draco wanted a defender to protect him from Validemort, or whatever it was, not a weepy archangel. At least I hadn't let my species slip. That would've really been a disaster.

Draco wet his lips. "Gabriel- I didn't know. I-" _How can I tell him that it's totally okay, that I think it's great- he really wants me, I'm not just some arranged marriage he didn't want or took for money- man, that must hurt, to be so- so alone, it's awful being away from my family, and Dad didn't even like me- man, what can I say- I better get this right._ "I love you and I'm sorry your family- I'm sorry you had to leave them. I hope they know what they're missing."

I threw my arms around Draco and burst into tears. Maybe that was a little too much, and now he'd realise how stupid i was and give up on me. I checked his thoughts again. I wanted a warning, at least, if he was going to dump me. _Man, he's so cute like this- no, that's mean, I want him to be okay, but now I know he's for real, not just some- I don't know, TV show I fell into. Gabriel, how can I show you that you're totally worth being around? Maybe I should run my fingers through his hair or something- yeah._ Draco's fingers tangled in my hair.

Dumping someone in a tv show… Now that was a good idea. I'd have to perfect it and try it out on someone. A hunter, maybe. A civilian would just be too confused to be funny.

I wondered how it would work, being married to Draco. Could I tell him who I was? He seemed accepting of a lot more than I'd expected. Maybe I could just leave for my unspecified human job whenever I wanted to work as a trickster. It couldn't be too complex, right? And if I had to explain, the trickster demigod thing wasn't all that scary.

I wished there was a way to make Draco think about nonhumans. Monsters, angels, pagan gods, something. Then I might get some idea of how he would react if he found out who I really was. I tuned in to his thoughts again.

 _Is Gabriel okay? He's not talking or anything. I wish I knew what he was thinking about. Well, maybe not. What if it's something awful? Okay, I have to do something about this, but what if he just needs me to hold him? I don't know what to do._

Cute, but not very helpful. And I didn't know what to say to get him to think about what I wanted to know.

 _His eyes are so beautiful. I wonder if he could really be human. What if he wasn't human? That could be so cute. Unless he was something scary, like a vampire or something. But wouldn't a vampire be more likely to buy a concubine than get an arranged marriage? What kind of thing would have golden kaleidoscope eyes? Maybe he's an eagle hybrid. But how could he be genetically modified. Meh, listen to me ramble. It's probably just magic- but still…_

Oh. That's- stunningly convenient. And an eagle hybrid? OK… I wondered if pagan god fell under the heading 'scary'. Angel probably wouldn't, but archangel might be a little much to tell him. Should I say something?

"Gabriel?" Draco asked hesitantly. "Are you a human? I mean, er, a wizard or a Muggle or something like that?"

"No," I admitted. "I'm a- please don't freak out."

"I won't freak out unless you're going to hurt me or yourself," Draco promised.

"I'm- I'm- never mind. It doesn't matter."

"But it's bugging you," Draco worried. "You can tell me. I promise I won't judge you."

"You'll think I wear one of those stupid loopy things on my head," I whined. "Or that I'm perfect or something."

"Some credit to my eyesight, please," Draco begged. "I would see if you had something on your head. And I already know you're not perfect. If you were perfect, this conversation wouldn't be possible, because you would know what you wanted to say. I don't think you're perfect. I know there's lots of stuff about you that I don't know yet, and I'm sure some of it is bad. Maybe really bad. But I bet there's enough good to more than make up for that. Plus, what I already know about you is pretty awesome."

"I'm an archangel," I blurted, bursting into tears again and hiding my face in Draco's shoulder. "And I fell from Heaven."

Draco just sat there silently. He might've just been having trouble processing all the information I'd thrown at him, but I felt like he was silently judging me. I cried harder. The silence dragged on painfully.

I forced myself to look up at him. His face wasn't readable, or maybe I just couldn't see it properly through the tears. I couldn't see much of anything. "P-please don't leave me," I begged.

"G-Gabriel- whoa, I uh, um, ah… Slow down! I'm never ever going anywhere. I don't have too much training in how to help archangels who think they fell, but I. Um. I'm sorry."

I wasn't sure what to think about that. Draco knew the truth. Not the details, but the whole, honest truth. And he wasn't running away screaming. I'm not sure what's with these human vessels. Thousands of years in one, and I still don't get how they work. I fell asleep.

 _Draco_

So there I was, just holding Gabriel, and he seemed so stressed out, but then he started snoring.

I sat down on the floor and held him in my lap, leaning his head against his chest and letting him sleep. He probably needed it, if he was just going to fall asleep in the middle of a stressful conversation. I wondered if maybe he had been doing the I'm-a-super-powered-being-I-don't-need-to-sleep thing and exhausted himself. And he's worried _I'll_ think he's perfect.

Today was starting to work on being almost as long as yesterday. In one day, I had eaten a third of a giant pancake, had my first kiss, went ring shopping, been proposed to, and found out my fiancé is an archangel.

Before I took a year off from normal life to stay up all hours of the night freaking out about having to try to kill Dumbledore, I probably would have been strong enough to carry Gabriel a short way. As it was, I probably couldn't carry a shrimp like myself anywhere.

I guess, given that I had nothing to do but think, and that I couldn't move Gabriel and didn't want to leave him, it wasn't too surprising that I fell asleep too.


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter has some scary bits. I promise Draco and Gabriel will be okay. Voldemort shows up and says some obnoxious things, but this is T, so you should be okay. Also, a bucket of fluff attacks Draco, and there are mentions of giant gummy snakes. Have fun.  
**

 _Gabriel_

Being an archangel, I'm not used to waking up. I pretend to sleep a lot when I'm with normal people, but I usually just lie there all night with my eyes closed. Well, that gets boring, so I actually tend to make an illusion of myself to do the sleeping for me. So, anyway, sleeping is weird.

I don't wanna open my eyes. Why that is, I have no idea. I just don't wanna move or do anything. Am I one of those people who wakes up groggy and grumpy? Ugh, that sounds awful. Everything sounds awful right now.

I'm not gonna open my eyes. OK, now I sound like a weepy toddler. Actually, I don't care. If I want to be a whiny toddler, nobody's going to care. I turned myself into a toddler.

Maybe that was a bad idea. It got hard to think, and everything was horribly big and overwhelming. I started crying.

 _Draco_

I was pleasantly asleep until Gabriel suddenly seemed to get smaller. I was worried that I was just holding a blanket or something, so I opened my eyes. Gabriel- I was pretty sure it was still him- was a little tyke about 3 years old. Worse, he started crying. I turned him to face me. It was really him. He looked so little.

"Gabriel?" I asked.

"Da-co," he lisped. He reached up and looped his arms around my neck.

Well, now I could pick him up easily if I wanted to. But I wasn't sure if he would be okay with that. I didn't know why he'd turned himself into a toddler, or even if he had.

"Gabriel, did you do this?" I asked, trying to not to sound too emotional. I wanted him to know I could handle this and wouldn't be mad.

He nodded, giggled, grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked lightly on it.

I sighed. At least Gabriel seemed to be okay. I pulled his hand out of my hair and held it.

"Whatcha want to do, little tyke?" I asked.

"Wath a m-emo-hiy?" he asked. I'd had no siblings growing up, so I had no idea what he was saying. My stomach rumbled.

"Maybe we could have a pancake party," I suggested. "I think we still have plenty left over from breakfast. I could see if we have marshmallow fluff and sprinkles and stuff."

"Thpin-keth!" Gabriel squealed.

"I have no idea what you're saying," I apologized. "But you sound like that's a good idea. Let's go get sugar high, huh?"

"Thpin-keth!" Gabriel cheered. I picked him up and carried him out to the kitchen.

"Sit still and be a good little tyke, and I'll let you put as much whipped cream on your pancakes as you like," I suggested, figuring bribery couldn't go wrong.

"Ippy keam an' thpin-keth!"

Whipped cream and sprinkles. Aha. I wasn't completely toddler-illiterate. Of course he wanted lots of sugar and dye. Of course.

I dug out a pile of cold but still deliciously fluffy-looking pancakes out of the refrigerator. As soon as I set them on the table, they were steaming hot. I blinked. Obviously Gabriel's magic- no, powers, maybe?- were still totally functional. I set the whipped cream, chocolate syrup, strawberry syrup, caramel topping, and various jams and jellies on the table. The sprinkles and fluff were obviously not stored in the refrigerator. I didn't know where to look.

"Dote fo-get da thpin-keth!" Gabriel begged, looking very disappointed in me.

"I didn't forget them," I promised. Then I shook my head. I'd been acting like a clueless Muggle! I pulled out my wand and stated calmly, "Accio sprinkles."

The sprinkles flew out of the cabinet and onto my hand. I opened the bottle and handed it to Gabriel.

"Do it again! Do i again! Make i fwy!"

"Accio fluff!"

I wasn't prepared for a 5-gallon bucket of marshmallow fluff to come flying at me with the lid not screwed on right. Somehow my head ended up inside the bucket. I panicked. I couldn't breathe.

Gabriel snapped his fingers, or tried to, and I was sitting on the floor, marshmallow fluff neatly on the table. My head was mostly clean, and at least I could breathe, but that didn't make me feel any better.

Gabriel looked worried and scared. "Daco okay?" he asked.

I inhaled huge breaths and tried not to faint, but I was getting dizzy. Gabriel dive-bombed me. I reminded myself that I had a little 30-pound pile of Gabriel to take care of. If I passed out, he would have nobody to make sure he was okay. I tried to slow down my breathing.

 _My head is not in a bucket of fluff, my head is not in a bucket of fluff, my head is not in a bucket of fluff, my head is not…_

"Daco, 'top!" Gabriel begged. He looked really scared.

I picked him up and stood up.

"I think I've had enough marshmallow fluff for the rest of my life. Maybe we'll skip that part," I said shakily. "Come on, help me put strawberry syrup on my pancake."

 _Be calm for Gabriel. Poor little guy. I'm all he has. That fluff-bucket can just- stay in the pantry where it belongs._

I pointed my wand temperamentally at the bucket. "Avada kedavra," I growled. To my surprise, the bucket actually exploded into flames and burned up.

Gabriel looked impressed but a little scared.

"Fuff owie?" he asked, puzzled.

"Guess I killed it," I said. "G-good riddance, in my opinion. You can have whipped cream. That stuff doesn't jump out and choke people."

Gabriel was pleased. "Ippy keam yay!"

I handed him the whipped cream. With no 5-gallon buckets around, I was able to enjoy the pancakes. Gabriel was right, though, we should have just watched a movie.

After about twelve pancakes heaped with sugar in various forms, Gabriel started to get a little sleepy. I put away the food, wiped the table, and scooped up little Gabriel.

"Come on, let's go pick a movie," I said. As long as Gabriel was just a little guy, we could bond without worrying about all of that weird awkwardness. I wouldn't have to worry about him trying to marry me, and he was so cute! It would definitely be worth watching some Cars or Power Rangers to get to keep little mini-Gabriel sprinkle-size.

I was too late. Little Gabriel was already asleep on my shoulder. Apparently little ones sleep a lot.

I tucked Gabriel in on the couch with a blanket and a small jar of marshmallows to keep him happy. Then, on second thought, I cuddled up with him. I even stole a few marshmallows. Must've been the strawberry syrup talking.

 _Gabriel_

I'm not sure what happened while I was a toddler. The memories all got kind of blurry. I remember the sprinkles, so we must've eaten lunch, but that's about it. There's marshmallow fluff in Draco's hair. Odd. I wonder what I did.

It can't've been too bad, since we fell asleep curled together on the couch. I think Draco will have a problem with this position when he wakes. So options: untangle our legs so Draco won't panic, or just enjoy it 'til he wakes up. It's me; what do you think I picked?

Draco's adorable when he's asleep. I hope it's a while before he inevitably wakes up. But then, we do need to get married sometime today. The human marriage won't be a problem. Draco might be nervous, it is his first time getting married after all, but he knows what to expect and has long been prepared.

The pagan binding ceremony is quick, and it shouldn't be that painful. OK, so it will hurt. Kind of a lot. Ah, he'll be fine. And then he'll be marked as mine in a way that will keep all the pagan gods from messing with him. So it's unpleasant, but necessary.

He's waking up.

Draco stirred. He opened his eyes to see me all grown up again, and- uh. Yeah. He quickly untangled himself and sat up.

"Good morning," he said, smiling cheerfully. Then he looked at his watch. "I mean good evening. So, when are we getting married?"

"We have half an hour before the church guy expects us," I told him. "I can just zap us there, so there's no rush."

"Oh," said Draco. He looked a little worried. "Do we even have outfits to wear?"

"Course we do," I said. "Like, close your eyes and imagine the outfit you want so I can see it."

Draco blinked. "Okay, lemme get it right first, though." He settled on a midnight blue tuxedo with a light blue dress shirt and some kind of multicolored blue or green tie- he couldn't think of anything that sounded quite right to him.

I may have tweaked the outfit a little. It was pretty close! I didn't mess it up that much. I just made it accentuate his figure and brightened the colors. And since he couldn't pick a tie color, I selected electric blue with silver polka dots. If he didn't like it, he could complain. I would probably cooperate.

Draco wanted a mirror. I snapped one up.

Draco took out his wand and muttered something. The silver polka dots started to move around on the tie, sometimes changing shape and size or making faces.

"Perfect," he drawled. "Now you."

I quickly swapped to a sparkly pale blue and silver suit that undulated, kind of imitating my grace. The dress shirt was navy blue with dancing sky blue stars, and the tie… well, the silver stripes on the electric blue background were wiggling a little, and they might've had snake heads.

Draco quirked an eyebrow. "You look edible," he commented.

I blushed. I did not intend to do that. I am an ages old archangel/pagan god. I do not blush! OK, so apparently now I do.

Draco took my hand. "Let's get married."

"Yeah," I breathed. Argh, what was wrong with my vessel? We're holding hands! I shouldn't be reacting like a starstruck teenager!

 _Draco_

Gabriel snapped his fingers, and we were outside the church.

Our outfits were _awesome_. I mean, just, wow. I didn't know what to expect, really. Would there be people? Was somebody marrying us? What was I supposed to say? What had Gabriel done with the rings?

We walked down the aisle together. There were people, although honestly I think they were probably either strangers or fake people. Gabriel completely ignored them. They threw white rose petals at us and cheered.

Then I was standing, looking at Gabriel, and behind us there was a guy holding a Bible with his notes in it, reading us our vows.

"Do you, Gabriel Farbautison, take Draco Malfoy to be your wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

"Uh, yeah, I do," Gabriel said. I thought about smacking him, but decided that could wait.

Now it was my turn. "Do you, Draco Malfoy, take Gabriel Farbautison to be your wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

I nodded. " _You have to say it_ ," the priest hissed. "I do," I said.

"You may now kiss."

I looked at Gabriel. "Third time's the charm, right?" I joked. It didn't matter anymore what Father would think. Somehow, we were here.

"Charming, dearest pumpkin," Gabriel replied. I leaned forward, and so did he, and then there we were, kissing. Mr. and Mrs. Gabriel Farbautison. Or Mr. and Mrs. Draco Malfoy. Either way, we were over the moon and ready to visit the stars and see if they were all they were chalked up to be.

OK, I wasn't _that_ surprised when Gabriel's tongue decided to come visiting. It was bound to happen at some point. We could have kissed forever, but people were starting to cough. Eventually I pulled away.

"Where's the wedding cake?" I asked. "Aren't we supposed to have a food fight about now?"

"Do we need a fake audience for that?" Gabriel asked.

"Nope. I already knew they were fake one way or another anyway. Please tell me the guy who married us was real, though?!"

"He was supposed to be fake, but I could've sworn I sensed…"

"It's me," the priest said inexplicably, then Apparated away.

"I wondered," said Gabriel. "Now. Cake."

Gabriel snapped his fingers and took us halfway around the world to Mt. Skylight in New York, U.S.A.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Mt. Skylight, ya know, in those Adirondack thingies in North America."

It was beautiful, a huge Alpine meadow with the best view I'd ever seen. There was a wedding cake the size of a car waiting for us.

"I hope it's chocolate," I said. "I guess I should've mentioned that I'm not too into nothing-flavored cake."

Gabriel walked around the cake pointing out different flavors. "Chocolate, strawberry, blueberry, lemon, caramel walnut, berry, cheesecake-flavored, piña colada in the first layer, then this is white chocolate, dark chocolate, milk chocolate, mint chocolate in the second layer, mango and apple pie in the third layer, and the top layer explodes if you touch it."

"Charming, pumpkin breath," I teased. "Wait, where's the pumpkin-flavored part?"

"In the middle of the first layer. You'll have to jump in if you want to taste it."

I disregarded his instructions and stuck my arm in as far as it would go. Something yanked me into the cake, and I swam to the top, stuck out my head and arms.

"Hey, Gabriel, I'm a cake," I announced.

The cake exploded. Fireworks went off over our heads and we were covered in what looked like glitter glue, except it tasted like vanilla, maple sugar, and blueberry.

Since we were already covered in edible glitter glue, there wasn't a lot of point in throwing cake at each other, but we did anyway, and I tried all of the cake flavors. I think I ate six pounds of the cheesecake-flavored part. The caramel walnut was good, too.

I'd had enough sugar to kill a horse today, and my head was starting to spin.

"Gabriel, I don't feel good. Do you have some water and maybe a sandwich?"

"Here, let me fix it," he said. He touched two fingers to my forehead, and I felt a lot better.

"I still want real dinner."

Gabriel whipped out a tray with a fancy gourmet sandwich, a glass of water with a lemon wedge, a bowl full of fresh strawberries, and a kids' yogurt tube.

"GoGurt? Really?" I threw the offending yogurt tube at Gabriel and started on the sandwich.

Gabriel ate the GoGurt. "I had to at least offer you _something_ edible."

"That's very gentlemanly of you, but I'd rather not die of diabetes before I turn thirty."

Gabriel pouted, and I couldn't tell whether he was really mad or not. "I'll just bring you back if you die," he muttered.

I poked a strawberry in his mouth. "Cheer up, Gabe. This is supposed to be the start of our eternal happiness."

"Can we get a dog?" Gabriel asked, once he finished the strawberry.

"Let's get two. I want an elegant, really big dog."

"Two's good. I was thinking little and cheeky."

"Perfect. Maybe- um, Gabriel… Would you ever consider adopting kids?"

"What species?"

"Oh. I don't care, Purebloods, Muggles, doesn't matter."

"Uh, I don't know either of those. Vampires might be cool. But then, might have trouble with hunters."

I was confused. "OK, slow down. What exactly did Father tell you about me?"

"Oh, I didn't talk to your dad. Loki just said, uh… something about L-Lordemort?"

I frowned. "Who's Loki?"

"The pagan god who set up the whole marriage thing."

Now I was a little worried. "Are you sure he's a pagan god? What if it's a dangerously mental wizard or something?"

Gabriel laughed. "Well, technically he's more of a trickster demigod, but I'm sure he's legit."

"Ookaaayy… I guess I have some explaining to do. Make some hot chocolate, and we can watch the sunset while I explain to you what Loki and my dad apparently left out."

 _Gabriel_

"So, I guess if you don't even know what a wizard is, I have a lot to explain. So, basically, there are two kinds of people in the world. Some of us, like my family, have magic. Others don't. I'm a Pureblood; that means I come from a family that has magic in it all the way back. If your parents are magic, but you're not, you're what's called a Squib," said Draco.

"How does not having magic make you a squid?"

"Well, it's just what they're called," said Draco defensively.

"But why? Are they good swimmers or something?"

"What! No. Squib, not squid. Don't be so Australian."

"So they don't have tentacles?" I was horribly disappointed. Squid were cool.

"Of course not. There's nothing important about Squibs. They happen, even to the best of families. _My_ family has been very fortunate to have only a very few Squibs, but then we've always been careful to marry only pure wizarding families."

"That sounds dumb."

Draco grimaced. "Well, or course, if you haven't grown up in one of the _right_ families. Anyway, if your parents are magic, but you aren't, you're a Squib, and if your parents aren't magical, but you are, we call that a Mu- a Muggle-born. Some people call them Mudbloods, but that- isn't terribly polite. If a Muggle-born marries a wizard, their children are Half-Bloods. Of course, a few wizards from- _lesser_ \- families get silly ideas in their heads. I know a Mr. Weasley who has twice as many kids as he can pay for and is infatuated with everything Muggle."

"He sounds great! Can I meet him? I love kids."

"Is that really a good idea? He's pretty witless, and Voldemort still wants my head."

"Oh, come on. Voldemort's mortal, right? I'll just explode him if he's dumb enough to try anything."

Draco's face fell. "But Dad…"

"Dad what?" I asked.

 _What will I say to Dad? He'll be so angry if he finds out I took Gabriel to meet the_ Weasleys _for crying out loud! Salazar Slytherin would even be disappointed. Besides, what if he tries to take me away from Gabriel? I can't let this happen. Somehow I have to convince Gabriel that this is a bad idea. Wait- archangel, hmm- can he read minds? Let's find out. Gabriel, you are a spork made of modified corn starch-_

"Maybe modified corn syrup, but starch is boring," I told him.

Draco hugged me desperately. "Gabriel, please don't go away. I couldn't bear it if Dad or Voldemort made you dump me."

"Sheesh, kiddo," I said, hugging him back. "I'm not dumping you."

"But what if you get killed? Or I get killed? Or Dad decided I'm not good enough for you or something and he tries to break us up? I just don't wanna go there. Why can't we stay here? I mean, in New Zealand, obviously."

"Don't worry about it," I said reassuringly. "We won't go anywhere you don't want to. I mean, we have to, uh, syrupmoon? Is that what it's called?"

"Honeymoon," Draco giggled. "But in your case, yeah."

"Nothing's better than syrup," I agreed. "But we should go somewhere fun for that honeymoon thing."

"Can I finish explaining?" Draco asked. "Also, you wanted a dog, right? We should get the dogs first."

"We need to do lots of research on dogs!" I said excitedly. "It'll be so much fun, and we can read, well, skim, a whole bunch of books and articles."

Draco sighed. "I need more hot chocolate."

"Oh, yeah," I said. I conjured a bright yellow two person kayak full of hot chocolate. "And- there we go." It started raining mini marshmallows. OK, so maybe I was going a little overboard. I felt like it.

"I think you have something backwards," Draco commented. "I'm pretty sure we should be in a clean kayak on a hot chocolate lake. And yes, raining mini marshmallows is awesome."

"Maybe not on top Skylight," I mused. I snapped us to a pond in Kansas, changing the water to hot chocolate and the greenery to marshmallows. The mini marshmallow rain followed us from Skylight, which I put back to normal. We were on a raft made from a giant slab of candy cane. "This better?"

Draco put a toe in. "Can I swim in this?"

"Sure," I said. "Just be careful of the giant gummy snakes."

Draco slid in and treaded water, one hand still on the raft. "What's the risk with the gummy giant snakes?"

"They might drag you off or dunk you," I explained. "Nothing serious."

Draco looked relieved. "I thought they were going to try to eat me or something. Gabriel!"

"They're a joke. It was Michael's idea, only he didn't bother to warn the rest of us."

"Wait. Michael already had a hot chocolate pond?"

"It wasn't hot chocolate, and the snakes weren't gummy. God hadn't made cacao beans or whatever gummy worms are made of yet. We were swimming in a star, and I don't know what the snakes were."

"Is it totally creepy if I ask if I can eat an alive gummy worm?"

"Are you even a vegetarian?" I asked. "Cause I guess it would sort of be meat, but it's not any worse than that."

"Meat isn't alive. Unless you're eating raw crickets or octopus or something weird like that."

"I dunno if it's creepy. But you can eat the lily pads for sure."

Draco laughed. "Won't they just taste like marshmallow?"

"With sprinkles," I defended.

"Fine," said Draco. "I want to see the mud, though." He dove down and came up with a handful of crushed lemon drops. "How can anybody eat this?" he asked.

"By putting it in their mouth and swallowing?"

"Yeah, and going into a diabetic coma," said Draco. "Makes me wonder which of us is really robbing the cradle."

"I _was_ the toddler this morning," I said helpfully.

"I know, it was so cute," Draco gushed. "Um- the marshmallow fluff tried to eat me, though. Do you remember any of that? I didn't want to let you freak out, but I was pretty freaked out myself."

"I only remember the sprinkles," I explained. "I'm sorry you got hurt."

"Yeah, I might never want to see marshmallow fluff again. But I guess we're both alive. If I'd died, would you have resuscitated me?"

"I don't know how to do that, but I could've healed your body and brought you back to life, no problem."

"But would you have?"

"Course. You're not dying, like, ever," I said. "At least not permanently. There's almost no-one strong enough to kill you in a way that I can't fix."

"Am I going to live forever?" Draco asked.

"Well, until the end of time. After that, death won't mean anything."

"Okay," said Draco. "Does this mean I get to look twenty-five forever? I can still get more mature on the inside, right?"

"Your body will stop breaking down. You won't be frozen, you just won't get old."

"And why is all this?"

"It's because of a ceremony I want to perform in a few hours," I explained. "You'll be immortal as long as we're together."

Draco thought about that. "Are we basically having two weddings, then?"

"Well, um, it's actually kinda… three weddings," I admitted. "Is that ok? There's some stuff I didn't say earlier."

"Gabriel… I'm sure it's okay, but are you willing to tell me?"

"I told you I was fallen. And I kinda ran away from Heaven. And then I pretended I was a pagan god. So, um…"

"So…"

"Anyway, I want to do the pagan marriage ceremony too. It's a powerful protection spell, and it'll work even if I'm not around."

"Whoa, where are you going, the moon? You can take me, too. But, sure, we can do the ceremony. Does it have any- difficult requirements?"

"It's pagan," I said, as though that explained everything. "We'll both get cut open, and burned, and have to drink nasty tasting goop."

"Cut open? Like with intestines falling out? You're not gonna let me die, right?"

"OK, so maybe I was exaggerating," I admitted. "It's a little cut on your arm, and then a pricked finger and two more small cuts and a bigger cut."

"And burned?"

"Think melted candle wax and a tattoo."

"You exaggerated," said Draco. "That doesn't even sound as bad the the Death Eater induction ceremony. And- uh, no offense, Gabriel, but I bet you think kale is nasty-tasting gloop."

"Kale tastes _awful_ ," I complained. "This is worse. Like you-don't-want-to-know-what's-in-it worse. Oh, and you get electrocuted if you don't qualify as pure."

Draco looked mildly nervous. "What qualifies as pure?"

"It just means you don't have any residual black magic in your body," I said unconcernedly. "Uh, you don't, do you?"

"B-black magic? Uh- did I ever mention my Dark Mark? It's kind of a really evil tattoo that says you work for V-Voldemort…"

"That might be a problem," I noted. "Can I see it?"

Draco pulled off his suit jacket and dress shirt. They were more cake than garment, anyway. He nervously showed me his Dark Mark tattoo.

"Ew, gross," I said.

Draco looked up at me shyly. "Thanks," he said.

"Thanks?" I asked. "What for?"

Draco sighed. "For not thinking I'm stupid and pathetic for hating it. I just want it off."

"It's disgusting," I said. "I wouldn't want it on my arm either. I'll have to get it off before the ritual."

"Can you remove it?" Draco begged. "I don't want to belong to Voldemort. I never really did; I just thought I wanted to be on the same team as my father, even though I kind of knew he was wrong, but how can you say that to your father? I just wanted him to be proud of me. But now I just want it off. I _**hate**_ being a Death Eater."

"It's removable, but it'll hurt. And what's a Death Eater anyway? Death isn't eatable."

"It's worth it," said Draco fiercely. He stuck out his arm. "Take it off. I don't care how much it hurts. It can't be worse than wearing that thing."

I conjured salt and a lighter. "Just let me make sure it isn't bound to your soul," I said. "And, uh, checking that'll hurt too."

"I'm still sure. Get this over with."

I conjured a scrap of leather. "Bite down on this." Draco obeyed and waited. I plunged my hand into his chest and checked to see if the Death Eater thingy was on his soul. Drat, it was. This is even grosser than when I just thought it was black magic gunk.

When it was over, Draco looked at me. "So, what did you find."

"I can't fault Voldymalt for his spellwork. It's hard for a human to put a claim on a soul."

"Can you still take it off?" Draco asked. He was already crying.

"Course I can," I said. I put my hand over it to study the design. "I'm just going to have to call down… We need a hill."

Draco was sweating and shaking. "You're going to call down Voldemort? Gabriel, shouldn't we have some help? Even- even Harry Potter couldn't kill him, and he had the best chance of any wizard."

"Look, kiddo," I said. "My friend, Loki, who's a lot less powerful than me, started this whole magic wizard thing in the first place. Voldewhatsit is an overgrown human. He's killable. And I think Alistair will be happy to torture him in Hell."

 _I was right. Gabriel is going to protect me. And he actually cares about me and doesn't want me to be a Death Eater. I wish Dad had been more like this guy._

"Gabriel, I don't care about torturing Voldemort. I just want him gone, and I want this thing off my arm and," he shuddered, "my soul."

"What's his actual name?" I asked. "Voldemort sounds more like something from a fantasy name generator website than a name."

"He was born Thomas Marvolo Riddle, but he changed his name to Lord Voldemort. I don't know which one counts. Maybe use both."

"Tommy Riddle should work," I said helpfully. "Now we just need a hill. There's a nice one in Georgia-" I zapped us there.

"It's too hot," Draco complained. "OK, just do it. If I die, promise you'll bring me back."

"Calm down, pumpkin donut," I told him. "You won't die. But even if you do, I'll bring you back. I swear it."

"Okay," said Draco. "Just be careful. I don't want to die particularly, and I really don't want you to get hurt."

"I'll be careful," I promised, semi sincerely. I set up a quick summoning ritual and called Tom Riddle.

He appeared almost immediately, and actually looked pleased to be there.

" _Draco_ ," he sneered. " _Little Lucius Malfoy's boy. Come to die?_ " Then he looked up at me and scowled amusedly.

"Actually, I was more thinking of killing you," I commented offhandedly. "You deserve death more than any target I've had since, uh, the nineteen forties."

"Hitler," Voldemort hissed. "Very funny. I respected that man. But he deserved to die, because he let himself become weak."

I rolled my eyes. "You're one of those idiots who never learns anything, aren't you? Let's see- I need speed, but smiting is boring."

Voldemort laughed. "You're actually wasting time debating how to kill me?" He turned and snarled, " _Avada Kadavra!_ " Fortunately, he was pointing his wand at me and not Draco, so the spell didn't have much effect. It stung a little.

Draco spoke up. "Gabriel, are you okay?" He turned to Voldemort. "If you killed him, so help me, I will hunt you down until there's nothing left of you."

"Ouch," I complained. "What was that supposed to do?"

Voldemort looked devastated and dangerously angry. He looked at his wand like it had betrayed him, and snapped it at Gabriel. " _ **Avada Kedavra!**_ " he shouted. When it didn't work, he lowered his voice. " _Crucio_."

"Hey, what did you do? Stick me with a needle?" I asked.

Draco looked impressed with me and ready to bite Voldemort's head off. He pulled his own wand out and yelled, "Go to Hell!"

Voldemort grinned and slowly raised his wand to point it at Draco.

"He's off limits," I said quietly.

"Too late!" said Voldemort. "Ava-"

I took his voice away. Voldemort opened and closed his mouth furiously. He tried waving his wand, but nothing worked. Finally, he angrily snapped his wand in half.

"Piece of shit," he mouthed. "I am Lord Voldemort! I will kill you!"

"Sorry, Tommy," I said. "In this case, justice is to release the spirits of the people you've killed on you. I suspect they'll make it- torturous."

Draco tried to hide behind me. "Don't worry," I told him. I waved my hand, and Voldemort vanished.

"Is he dead?"

"Yeah," I said. "Let me check if the mark's gone."

"I would know if it was completely gone," said Draco sadly. He held out his arm, which was still tattooed.

"Raspberries," I complained. "I'll have to check your soul again. Sorry."

Draco bit down on the leather again while I checked. The darkness had left him. I pulled my arm out of his chest.

"OK, I just have to burn the mark off your arm," I explained.

"My soul is okay?"

"Yes. Your soul is free."

"But I don't feel any different," Draco sobbed. "Is something wrong with me?"

"Humans can't sense that type of claim," I said. "If you still feel wrong, then it's something else that's hurting you. Burning the tattoo might help, or it could just be unrelated."

"I tried to kill Dumbledore," said Draco. "I probably deserve whatever it is."

"There's no murder, not even attempted, reflected in your soul," I told him. "It's heavy with guilt, pain and fear, but it'll heal." I put my arm around him. "You'll be fine." Draco jumped but then clung to me.

"Please take it off my arm," he begged. "It already hurts most of the time anyway. I don't care if it hurts. Take it off."

I positioned his arm where I wanted it and immobilised it with a wave of my hand. I ground crushed salt into the mark and dabbed it with oil. I flicked open the lighter and set his arm on fire.

Draco screamed and writhed. Soon it was over, and I put out the fire. The wound was easy to heal, and in a moment all traces of burn were gone.

"It's over."

Draco stood there, frozen, looking at his arm. "It's really gone," he said after about four minutes.

"Back to New Zealand, I think," I said. I pulled him into my arms and flew back to our home.

"It's really gone," he repeated, not seeming to even see the house. He just kept staring at his arm.

I was a little worried about him. I knew it was a normal shock thing for humans to freeze up, but it felt like he was staring blankly at his arm for a little too long. OK, so I was freaking out about nothing. I just got married. I have the right to freak out when something hurts Draco.

I wasn't entirely sure what to do, but he looked really tired so I put him in bed and tucked him in. And then I was too worried about him to leave the room, so I laid down next to him and wrapped him in my wings.

 _Draco_

When Father told me I was marrying a random dude from New Zealand, I didn't expect to actually tolerate, let alone like him, I didn't expect a friend, and I sure didn't expect him to find a way to get the Dark Mark off my arm. I'd been so miserable with it for so long, that now when it was finally off, I couldn't think about anything else. _It's gone. It's really, really gone. My arm even looks like an arm again_.

I didn't actually like myself again, but it was like a huge weight was gone, and now I just had to wait for my crushed ribs to heal and my ego to grow back. Maybe ego is the wrong word. Self-esteem. But for now, Gabriel would do. He seemed confused by my reaction, but since we were now cuddled up with some kind of fluffy warm something around us, I wasn't complaining. I wondered if it was an angel thing. I didn't care. I just wanted to sleep with my face buried in Gabriel's shirt and forget Dark Marks ever existed.

I fell asleep. At first I just dreamed that Gabriel and I were floating on a lake. He was on his back, and we were floating above the water because of his wings for some reason. Then I forget what else I dreamed. Eventually I had a nightmare and Gabriel had to wake me up.

"Hey, kiddo, it's ok," he said.

"Nooooo- it was really bad." I shook and buried my face in Gabriel's neck.

"It's a dream," he said.

"You don't want to know," I muttered. "Like really bad."

"Would it help to tell me?" he asked gently.

"Not really. It would be better if you just knew it already. I don't wanna have to say it."

"If you want me to know, you're going to have to at least think about it."

"So I was right," I muttered. "You _can_ read my mind."

"Perks of being an archangel. Mind reading. But it's more annoying than anything most of the time."

 _I dreamed that Voldemort was trying to eat me. He ate part of my arm, but then a giant gummy snake strangled him. It was really scary._

I watched Gabriel's reaction. He looked worried, to say the least.

"Nightmares are a normal reaction to trauma," said Gabriel. He sounded like he was trying to convince himself. "I wouldn't worry about it."

Normally, I would've done the macho thing and told him it happens all the time and I can handle it, but that didn't seem relevant. Besides, what's the point of being macho when you have an archangel who cares about you and nobody to impress?

"I'm worried about it," I admitted. "It was really scary. What if Voldemort really does come back?"

"Then I'll send him right back down," Gabriel said confidently.

"How long will it be before I feel okay again?" I asked, sure that he didn't know the answer but just wanting to talk about it.

"I don't know, sweetheart. I hope it's not too long. I hate seeing you hurt."

I started crying. So me being hurt wasn't just hurting me, it was hurting Gabriel, too. I wasn't sure what to think about that or if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

"It's a good thing, trust me. Someone has to care about you," he said.

"I wish Dad had cared about me."

"It's hard to imagine anyone hard-hearted enough to not care about you," Gabriel commented.

I laughed cynically. "Harry Potter didn't care about me, and he's everybody's favorite poster boy. The Boy Who Lived. Well, he's dead now."

"Celebrities tend to be weirdos. Don't worry about it. But why's he the boy who lived? All the people on the planet are alive, duh."

"Because Voldemort tried to kill him, and up until he attacked you, Harry was the only one who survived Voldemort trying to kill them. I guess it went to his head. I hear he was raised by Muggles, though, so really, what can you expect?"

"Which one is Muggle?" Gabriel asked. "I keep forgetting with all those weird words."

"Non-magical person. Ya know, dolts. People who can't live without their landlines."

"You need to interact more with normal people, kiddo. Most Muggles aren't dolts. I'm thinking your dad was the dolt."

I smiled a little. "Maybe." I ran my fingers through Gabriel's hair. "I mean, for a minute yesterday, I thought you were a Muggle, and I didn't care particularly. And Hermione was like way smarter than everybody else- and boy did she know it, too- but she was a Mu- er, she was Muggle-born. Y'know. Not Dad's kind of people, although I think he liked her better than the Weasleys. He said they were blood traitors."

"Hum, weird," Gabriel said.

I sighed. "I kinda get it, though, because Mr. Weasley could be pretty annoying. He never stops going on about Muggle stuff, but he can't even get it right. And then he treats us like my whole family- like everything we stood for was pointless, and maybe he was right, I guess. I can see that now. But it still really- well, it was just really annoying to be around. So I liked watching my dad take him down a peg."

"That makes sense," Gabriel hummed encouragingly.

I sighed. "I thought you would be mad. You knew better already- I mean, you even wanted to visit the Weasleys. I didn't get it. I still don't, they're- well, maybe Mrs. Weasley and some of the kids are okay, but Ron hates my guts and Mr. Weasley is just dumb. He knows literally nothing about Muggles, but he thinks he knows everything, and it's all he ever seems to talk about. It's a wonder he ever shut up about "ekkeltricity" long enough to get Mrs. Weasley pregnant seven times." As soon as I heard what I'd said, I realized how dumb it was and wished I could take it back. Nevermind, Gabriel would know what I was thinking anyway.

"It's ok," he said. "You might want to work on thinking about how what you're going to say will sound. Most people aren't mind readers, pumpkin soup."

"Why are you still listening to me and being nice?" I asked. "You make no sense." I laid my cheek on his chest and listened to his breathing. It made me feel safe.

"Glad you feel that way, kiddo," he said. "Just fall asleep, ok?"

"Nice try," I mumbled, but then I actually drifted off.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Warning: suicidal Draco and Kali!Bashing_**

 _Gabriel_

Draco's so cute when he's sleeping. Is it creepy that I'm lying here watching him all night? He knows I'm here. His dreams are calmer now, so that's good. I hope he can recover from the mark thing and everything Moldywart did.

I wonder if he'll be ok with me pretending to be a trickster and pulling nasty pranks. It's a good cover, it's almost just a lot of the time, and I enjoy it. I don't want to give it up, but I probably would if Draco wanted me to. That scares me. The number of things I would do if Draco asked me to.

Since I left Heaven, I've been being careful not get too attached to anyone. I've slipped up, a lot, and it always hurts in the end. Even if I give Draco immortality, he could die. And he could leave me at any time. I don't think I could survive it if he left. I don't want him to leave.

I guess I'll just have to hope he doesn't dump me like Kali did. He said he loved me, but she said that too. What if Draco finds out that I've had tons of lovers and decides he doesn't want me anymore? I think he's a virgin, which is weird, but that would give him the right to a higher standard.

And since I killed Voldemort, Draco doesn't have to marry me anymore. What if he really just wanted to be safe, and he'll run back to England and his family now that he can? I know we're married, but we haven't done anything, and I want him to run through two more marriage ceremonies. What if it's too much?

I know I read his mind and it seemed like he liked me a little, but what if I read him wrong? Or what if it's just not enough? He could do so much better than a slutty runaway angel who can't even stand up to his own brothers.

At this point, I may have started crying. The noise woke Draco up.

"I'm sorry," I wailed. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Shh," said Draco, giving me a slobbery kiss. "I love you. I'm not going to let you forget that, either." He started tracing the paths of my tears with his tongue.

"Y-you love me?" I asked, confused. Yeah, I know he'd said it before. I get insecure sometimes.

"Yup," said Draco, kissing my nose. "You're mine now."

I ducked my face against his shoulder. "I love you," I whispered timidly.

Draco's hands found their way to my hair. "My hair now," he announced softly. "And it's beautiful hair, Gabriel."

"I'm not beautiful," I mumbled. "I'm just a wrecked angel with broken wings."

"No," said Draco. "You are an archangel. You are beautiful no matter what. I haven't even seen your wings. I still say you're beautiful. You were beautiful when I thought you were human because that doesn't change what matters about you. But the archangel part is still awesome."

"You make no sense," I complained, even as I clung to him.

Draco laid his head on my chest. "You're heart's still working," he said pointedly.

"What?" I asked, baffled.

"Well, you saved me from a lot," Draco pointed out. "Plus, I've been around you long enough that I can safely say I like you for _you_."

"B-but I'm not likeable," I choked out. "I'm just the annoying little brother nobody listens to. A-and- I told Lucifer not to- and he wouldn't listen. And Michael wouldn't l-listen. Everyone was so angry, and then I abandoned them. So now, they'll be even more angry- and- and-" I lost the coherency required for speech.

"Gabriel, I can't read your mind, so I don't know what you're talking about. I don't even have any siblings. I just know that- well, I- I thought you were being real with me, and I like the you I met. Also, yesterday- I-" Draco started crying. He was thinking about what happened with Voldemort and the Dark Mark.

"Just please don't leave," I begged, too confused to get what he was trying to say.

Draco looked very worriedly at me. _Is he okay? He doesn't sound okay. It must awful to have broken wings, though. I wonder how long they've been broken and whether they still hurt or he just can't fly. He looks so scared. Why does he think I'm going to leave him? Where else could I possibly rather be that he couldn't take me? Besides, I want to stay with Gabriel. He's not like Dad or Voldemort or anybody really. He seems different- and- and I really want this to be real, because yesterday and the day before that were the best two days of my life- and- ahhhhh! How can this beautiful thing feel so bad about himself? This is AWFUL! Did I do something wrong? No, probably his family. GABRIEL, HOW CAN YOU NOT GET THAT I LOVE YOU! There, you have to have heard that. Maybe it will get somewhere. I don't want to hurt you, but you need to know the truth. I can't let you live thinking you're- how can you even say that about yourself?! No lying in my house, Gabey._

"Sorry," I mumbled.

Draco melted. "I'm sorry, too, but I can't just let you think that you don't matter. You should already know that you matter, but if I have to tell you a million times, I will. So please just listen the first ten hundred times."

"And my wings aren't _technically_ broken," I admitted. "I kinda exaggerate a little sometimes."

"They're not?" Draco didn't know what to believe. "What does technically even mean? When do you think this shit up?"

"Sorry," I repeated sheepishly.

Draco sighed and kissed me lazily. "So, tell me what's really going on with your wings."

"I might've been sorta- pretending they don't exist?"

"Well, why?" he sounded really confused. "Wait. Is this because you didn't want to think about being an archangel?"

"In a way. I _can_ groom my own wings, I think, but I've never tried, and, um, my brothers would always groom them for me. The one time I'd have them out was grooming, and then once I ran away that just reminded me of what I'd lost. So, I haven't groomed or even looked at my wings for several thousand years. And they're not in the best shape." There were tears on my face by the time I finished. Draco was crying.

"Gabriel- ow, I'm so sorry. I- do you want me to try to groom them for you?"

I stared up at him, starstruck. "Would you really?"

"Of course, if it's okay with you. I won't have any idea what I'm doing, but we could take it slow. You can tell me what to do. We can try whenever you want to. It doesn't have to be today if you're not ready. I don't want to hurt you."

"They look bad. Even before I let them collect dust for millennia, they weren't pretty. And now they're probably awful." I shuffled embarrassedly.

Draco giggled. "Gabriel, I really can't see any part of you being anything less than awesome. But even if you looked like a toothbrush, I would still like you, because you are an awesome person on the inside on top of being totally gorgeous _and_ an archangel."

"But my wings are turquoise," I complained. "It's so embarrassing. I don't know what Father was thinking."

"Wanna find out if they go with my eyes?" Draco offered.

I giggled. "OK, maybe."

Draco spread his arms. "I don't even have wings."

"Humans aren't supposed to have wings," I giggled. "Father wanted you to invent airplanes."

"Um, when you say Father?" _Do you mean God? And would he be mad at me?_

"God is my father," I said. "I don't see any reason he'd be mad at you, but his relationship with every human is personal and hidden from the angels."

Draco sighed. "Then how am I supposed to know what He thinks of me?"

I shrugged. "Ask Him? I dunno. I'm not human."

Draco blushed. "Howdoesthatwork?" he squeaked.

"It's called praying in modern English. It's like having a conversation? He can always hear you; it goes with the omnipresent thingy."

"Speak English," Draco demanded.

"Um, my Dad knows everything and created everything but my aunt, who's not really a thing," I said. "He likes it when humans talk to Him."

"Why? Humans are bad. All we do is kill people and make everybody miserable."

"That's not true," I mused. "Humans have struggled since the garden fiasco, but a lot of you do good things, or at least try. And you're really kind of beautiful. Dad knew what he was doing, making you."

Draco buried his face in my shirt. "Can we talk about something else?" he asked.

"Sure, pumpkin applesauce," I said. "Any ideas for conversational topics?"

"Can I see your wings? I won't touch them without permission."

"They look like that poofy stuff on the end of a broom," I complained. "You don't wanna see them. They're ugly."

"Well, I've never seen a turquoise broom, so I do promise not to judge," Draco reassured me. He sat up. "I still want to see them. I'm curious."

"I don't- but- you'll think they're dumb." I had to work hard to keep from crying again.

"You know what, Gabriel? If you didn't think I would possibly like them, I don't think you would care if I saw them, because you would know I already was going to agree they were ugly. So, hear me out. The fact that you're scared to show me your wings- means you have hope that I'll like them ok. For all you know, I might be over the moon, but somehow you got hurt so badly that you don't dare hope that. That's what I need to fix. But I think helping you feel better about your wings might be a step toward helping you someday be okay again. And in the meantime, I still love you, and I always will."

I sniffled. "Y-you really want to see them?" I trembled for a moment before unfurling my still invisible wings. I didn't want Draco to see them. What if he hated them and yelled at me? What if- what if he left? I started crying silently.

Draco hopped off the bed and held out his hand.

"It'll be easier if you can stand up, right?"

I took his hand. I didn't need to be upright to make my wings visible, but holding Draco's hand was feeling like a definite requirement. My wings slowly shifted into the visible dimension.

 _Draco_

By this time, I was pretty worried about Gabriel. He'd already won my sympathy and impressed me- well, totally knocked my socks off- with yesterday, and now I was finding out he was as broken as I was, possibly more. Now I was going to find out just how awesome his wings might be. He kept trying to tell me they were awful, but he- well, he's sure _he's_ awful, and that is so totally not true that I could punch whoever made him feel this way. A lot of times. As long as it wasn't going to hurt my Gabriel. I guessed I wouldn't know what his wings looked like until I saw them.

His wings started to appear. Just as they were coming into view, I saw the palest trace of them- six shimmering blue spots in the air. Well, spots, isn't the right word. Something cool. Agh, I just can't word this right.

Then they came fully into view, and my jaw hit the floor, where it stayed for like ten minutes while I almost thought incoherent traces of thoughts, but mostly just gaped. I really wanted to touch the feathers, but I'd promised Gabriel I wouldn't until he gave it the okay.

There were six glorious, long, swooping wings, with feathers that must have been at least ten inches long apiece. They were all different shades of the same hue of rich turquoise, like the ocean seen from a tropical island as the sun is going down. If they'd been just a little less beautiful, I would have wanted to swim in them, but as it was, gaping definitely felt right, and as a matter of fact, for several minutes it was all I was capable of.

There was dust all over the feathers, and some of them had gotten bunched up and dirty. A few were even broken, which made me want to cry paintings. I never thought wings could be so- I mean- uh- okay, I'm still incoherent. There are no words to describe Gabriel's wings. All the crayons in the world couldn't draw them, and all the stars in the sky couldn't color them so brightly. All the words in the world- uh, well, obviously they're not helping me, so you get the picture. I so wanted to see what these wings could look like if I just dusted them even a little bit. I think I would probably not survive seeing them in their full beauty. Come to think of it, all that dust probably spared me from going blind or insane or both.

"W-what do you think?" Gabriel asked, shivering.

"I think I would die if they were any more beautiful," I said, feeling a little out of breath. "Gabriel- how can you think these are ugly?"

"M-maybe 'cause they are," Gabriel sobbed. "They're dirty, worthless- and they used to at least be ok!"

It was my turn to dive-bomb Gabriel. I threw myself into his arms. "Gabriel, I love them. I love you, too. Please believe me. It's not fair to not believe me when you can read my mind and know that I'm telling you the truth. How can you not believe me? Look!"

"I gu-guess you like modern dust-bunny art," Gabriel said. "I dunno how you can, but-"

"It's not the dust I like," said Draco. "No wonder your brothers thought you were missing some marbles. It's the feathers, silly."

"You like m-my feathers?" Gabriel asked.

I decided to take a gamble. "They're my feathers now, and I think they're just as beautiful as the rest of you, if not more. I totally love your wings, Gabriel. I'm sorry I won't be able to see them all the time. But I'm even more sorry that you don't think they're beautiful."

"Thank you," he whispered. "Nobody's cared about me this much in a long time."

I patted his head. "Well, unless you're ever stupid enough to let me die permanently, you never have to be alone again. I will help you clean up your wings as soon as you want me to and not a moment sooner. It's up to you if you want to finish the whole serial marriage thing first." It was kind of adorably pathetic, watching Gabriel react to me touching his hair. He looked so shy and nervous. Somehow I needed to make him feel like he was cool enough to be in charge again.

"Don't worry; I'll always bring you back to life, even if Death gets mad at me," Gabriel said. "You'll only die if, like, I die, which is so improbable you shouldn't bother thinking about it."

"So I'm keeping you forever," I said, pleased. "And you're keeping me forever," I reminded him.

"Yeah," he said hesitantly.

"So, marriage? Or wings? Or did you want to watch a movie? Or, oh, we haven't had breakfast yet. You apparently can do anything, so what do you want to do?"

"Sugar makes everything better," Gabriel said. "Let's go have breakfast."

"Okay. Sugar. But I also need eggs and bacon and a salad. But I promise to eat some marshmallows, too. And I won't make you eat healthy food, so don't worry. Let's get the glucose flowing."

"Come on, sugar pumpkin," Gabriel said. He snapped his fingers, and we appeared, seated at the dining room table. His wings had vanished when he moved us there.

When I finally saw my salad, I laughed. It had bacon, egg, and Valentine's Day conversation hearts on it. Gabriel was having a banana split- two banana coins, two cans of whipped cream, fifteen kinds of sprinkles, six flavors of syrup, and sweetened cocoa powder to top it all off. He didn't bother putting cherries on top, since he was eating them right out of the jar four at a time.

I basically picked off the bacon and egg first and ate them, then ate the conversation hearts, and then looked for salad dressing. I didn't realize I had completely wasted the opportunities afforded me by the conversation hearts that I had swallowed without reading until I was knee deep in the fridge digging for a good vinaigrette.

"I hope you realize I am completely capable of eating a salad that doesn't have dessert plopped on top of it," I commented. "And that I am completely incapable of locating a salad dressing in a refrigerator that only contains ice cream toppings."

"I just use the whipped cream normally," Gabriel said. "What salad dressing do you want?"

I thought about this. "Garlic raspberry vinaigrette?" I suggested. "Although even French dressing would be better than whipped cream."

"Hey, whipped cream is great on salad," Gabriel defended. "No judging until you try it."

"Okay, but sometime I need to fit in some micronutrients and essential amino acids and fats. Also I would rather have some stabilizing foods like fiber and complex carbohydrates that digest more slowly so I can avoid the blood sugar rollercoaster humans get on your type of diet. If I try to live on lollipops like you, you'll think I have bipolar."

Gabriel blinked. "I don't mind bipolar people."

I considered throwing something at Gabriel, but I couldn't the picture of him sobbing and freaking out about his wings out of my head.

I have no idea why I did what I did next. I just wanted to know what Gabriel would do.

So I stepped inside the huge refrigerator and shut the door.

 _Gabriel_

I'm confused. Can humans even survive in refrigerators? I feel like they can't, but I'm not entirely sure. What do humans need to survive again? I know Dad made them really fragile… Oh no. Oxygen is on the list, right? And there isn't any in the refrigerator. Um-

I flew over to the refrigerator and yanked the door open. "Draco?" He was huddled against the wall. "Are you ok? You're freezing. Oh no. I'm so stupid. Sorry?"

Draco looked up, then back down at his shoes. He didn't say anything.

I felt like crying. Maybe I was still a little fragile from the whole wings thing earlier. "Draco, don't be mad," I pleaded. "And don't do- whatever you're doing. You're scaring me." I tentatively wrapped my arms around him, expecting him to push me away. Instead, he clung to me desperately and seemed to be waiting for my move.

 _Draco_

When I went into the refrigerator, I was just being stupid. I guess I may have thought it would be funny to scare Gabriel, but I was sure he would come find me before anything really bad happened. And it wasn't exactly suicide yet. I could always open the door from the inside and come out, and nothing bad would happen. It would be kind of anticlimactic, though.

Then the door closed, and the lights went out. I had never realized that refrigerators are only lit from the inside while the door is open. I panicked and groped for anything I could touch. I found a wall and huddled up. It was so cold inside the refrigerator. I'd never really stuck more than one arm into a refrigerator at a time, and now the cold was all around me, and I couldn't see a thing.

I started to freak out. I had forgotten where the door was, and I was starting to remember that refrigerators had a limited amount of oxygen. I was afraid that if I tried to find the door, it might not open from the inside, or I might not find it and be trying to open a wall. For some reason I thought that would run out my oxygen before just sitting still would. Also, I was still sure Gabriel would get me out of this.

I'm sure only a few seconds passed, but it felt long enough that I started to think Gabriel wasn't coming. Also, the cold was starting to get to me. I felt helpless and flabby, like I was a piece of chicken that belonged in the fridge and not a person. I was shaking and my lips were probably blue. It hadn't been terribly long since I was sure I was going to die for my failures, and now it appeared that Voldemort being dead, a refrigerator might be the death of me. I guess that could be funny, but to me it just felt like I was stupid and pathetic and about to die by my own hand away from everybody who cared about me- Gabriel, I thought, would have come earlier if he belonged on that list.

Suddenly the door flew open. I guess Gabriel must have realized I was dying in the refrigerator over here. I had already decided he wasn't coming, so I didn't really think about what that meant. I just wanted Gabriel to come find me. He was freaking out, which was 100% my fault, which just proved I was guilty and should have died in the refrigerator.

"Draco, are you okay? You're freezing. Oh, no, I'm so stupid. Sorry?" he rambled.

Why did I want to die in the refrigerator again? I should have known better. I want to stay with Gabriel. This is why I want to stay with Gabriel. He actually cares about me. I really should have taken that into account before I went into the refrigerator.

I looked at my shoes. I didn't deserve to talk to Gabriel now, and also I still needed to know what Gabriel would do. I needed to know whether he still wanted me even if I couldn't handle life like an adult. If I did something incredibly stupid, would he really save me? If I died, would he really bring me back?

Gabriel's face twisted in pain. "Draco, don't be mad," he begged. "And don't do- whatever you're doing. You're scaring me." He looked like he was going to cry.

I didn't want to do whatever I was doing. So why was I? Maybe Gabriel could teach me how to not do whatever this was. It definitely wasn't a good idea.

He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me. Oh, no. I'd botched it. He didn't want to be near me anymore. Well, too bad. We could break up later. I couldn't let go of Gabriel. I clung desperately to him, hoping some of his awesomeness would somehow transfer to me and make me okay. Or maybe just needing to hang on to the one person I had left who actually loved me. He did, right? I hoped so. At least until I tried to kill myself.

"Draco, you can't hide in the refrigerator," Gabriel said. "Humans need oxygen. It's not safe."

So he still wanted me to be safe? What was up with that? Why wouldn't he just give up on me? It was my second time in the past three days that I almost died, and they were kind of both my fault. I obviously just didn't have the common sense needed to live.

"I know I need oxygen," I said, but my lips were trembling so much that I didn't know if he could understand what I was saying. "It's too c-cold."

He picked me up and carried me out of the refrigerator. "You need to be careful," he told me, gently kissing my forehead.

I cried and clung to Gabriel. "I-I'm sorry." _I don't want to die anymore, but I don't know why I hid in the refrigerator, so I don't know what to do differently. I just want to stay with you, but I had to know how you would handle this. I know it's stupid now. I'm sorry, Gabriel. I'm a lousy good-for-nothing kid, and I shouldn't have married you without warning you first that- I'm dumb. I'm a dumb, scared kid, and I don't deserve any of this. Voldemort was supposed to kill me._

"Hey, stop that," Gabriel said. "You're not supposed to die. Don't even think it. I love you, you're not lousy or dumb, and we'll figure out why you hid in the refrigerator. It'll be fine."

"But it's true. I am lousy and dumb. A kid who wasn't dumb would have known better." _I guess you really love me, but you must be stupid. I'm not worth it._

"Draco, you are worth it, and I'm going to prove it to you if it takes a thousand years."

 _No, you'll just prove that you're worth it. Not me. I'm the only one who can be me and be worth it or not. You can't fix this, Gabriel. It's not your fault. I came stupid._

"Stop it," Gabriel pleaded. "Just stop thinking this crap. You're so worth it, and it's horrible when you think you aren't."

 _I don't know how to not think this stuff. I guess it's just me. Are you sorry you married this?_

"What?! Of course not! Agreeing to Loki's stupid plan to marry this British teenager I'd never met is the best decision I've ever made! I _love_ you. And it's never changing."

"If I'm not stupid, then why did Dad want me to be a Death Eater? And why did I agree? Why did they try to make me kill Dumbledore, and why did I go along with it? Nobody's ever wanted me to be anything good or worth existing, and I've never proved them wrong! All I ever do is go along with somebody else's stupid idea. That dumb Malfoy kid, at least he'll be a Death Eater, if only for lack of backbone. That dumb Malfoy kid, make him kill Dumbledore. He'll either prove himself, or we'll more likely just be rid of him. That dumb Malfoy kid, marry him off to save his life, 'cause he's not worth fighting for. He should consider himself lucky somebody's willing to marry him. And then it's you, and I just wish things were different, because- I don't know. You actually seem okay. Maybe better than okay. But I go hide in the refrigerator. 'Cause I'm stupid. So prove me wrong, Gabriel, but at least you have to know where I'm coming from."

"OK, so you've done some dumb things," Gabriel said angrily. "Well, guess what, kiddo. Everyone's stupid about their family. Everyone's done dumb crap, and it doesn't make you any worse than everybody else. So if you're pathetic and worthless, at least everybody else is going to Hell along with you! So stop it."

I hiccuped. "Am I going to Hell?" _An archangel would know, right? I don't want to go to Hell. Maybe I should think about being an asshole freeloader and not trying to die._

"I have no idea," Gabriel said. "It's all down to Dad, so I recommend talking to Him."

"I don't want to go to Hell," I said. "G-gabriel? Do you think I need to go to a hospital? I'll go if you th-think it's a good idea."

"I dunno much about hospitals," Gabriel admitted. "I think I can take care of you here, I'll just have to keep a closer eye on you. And- if you feel like doing something- like that- again, just tell me, ok?"

"I don't know if I can promise that," I said, looking at my shoes. "I just got stupid."

"I _can_ always bring you to life, but- please don't make me. If I have to watch you twenty-four seven, I will."

"Maybe you should," I said. "At least until I know I'm not going to do something like that again. I don't know what's wrong with me, Gabriel. And if you don't think you can trust me with your wings, I'll understand."

"I trust you with everything but yourself, pumpkin lantern," Gabriel said. "But you're too important to risk losing, so stay alive."

"Okay," I said. I hesitated. "I'm sorry, Gabriel."

"It's ok. I know you're not trying to hurt yourself, at least most of the time. And it's not your fault."

I ignored the first part, since it made no sense. "How is this not my fault?" I whispered. "Dad didn't push me into that refrigerator."

"Your dad made you think you didn't deserve to live," Gabriel said. "And I know from personal experience how much an immediate family member can break you. When my brother Fell, he said some things… I'm still not over it. And it's part of the reason I ran away."

"I guess we're in the same boat," I said. "Maybe that's why we got so close so fast."

"I guess. I've certainly never fallen for anyone this quickly."

"Maybe 'cause I'm so pathetic I might as well be a girl, except girls are less pathetic than me. Maybe you feel sorry for me or it's an ego stroke or something."

Gabriel sighed. "I feel like you missed everything I've been trying to tell you our whole relationship. And patheticness doesn't make you girly. It's a whole separate issue."

I wasn't sure what he thought I had missed. You just can't change a whole system of thinking in three days even if they're- the best three days of your entire life. Even if you fall in love, and the person actually cares a lot more about you than anybody ever has, and they say they're in love with you too. It's not enough to change everything about how you think about yourself. I wondered what I should say to Gabriel.

"Gabriel- before I met you, I didn't even want to live. Now I think I might want to not die. So it's not like you didn't get anywhere."

"But you don't want to live," Gabriel said. He sounded heavily dejected.

"But I don't want to die either. And I kind of want to stay with you. If I was smarter, I would just be happy and forget dying. I'm married to a frickin' archangel."

"I'm not much of an archangel."

"Have you even seen your wings, or did you just assume they were dust bunny art?" I countered.

"Well, I wasn't really looking at them, but-" Gabriel sounded close to tears.

"Okay, so is that why you forgot they were beautiful? Because all I can think is you just forgot or fooled yourself."

"I just hate my wings," Gabriel sobbed. "I don't care if they're pretty."

"So, you know they're beautiful, but that just makes it worse because- I'm taking a bit of a stab in the dark here- you think you weren't good enough to live up to being an archangel."

"I couldn't _do_ anything. Everything fell apart, and all I could do was stand on the sidelines and beg them to stop. I'm not a fighter. I'm not even good at arguing. I'm just supposed to have to be a decent diplomat and run messages. And every single stinking time anything went wrong, I'd just hide behind Michael and Lucifer. And now they're enemies, and I can't even process that that's possible."

"But look where being good at fighting and arguing got them. They lost each other and they lost you. Maybe you're the only one who got it right, until you just couldn't take it anymore," I said.

"I doubt it," Gabriel said. "Everybody messed everything up. And now everything's awful. Irreparably awful. Forever."

"Because you can't deal with thinking about your past and realizing that you still have wings and a Draco and super powers at the same time."

"B-but my wings are dumb and my Draco's miserable and my super powers never do any good anyway," Gabriel argued.

"But your wings are the most beautiful thing your Draco has ever seen, and you're the best thing in his life- heck, you are my life now- and your super powers are still super powers."

"Th-then your l-life stinks," Gabriel sobbed.

"But it won't stink forever, because I have you now, and you'll have me, and we can work on being okay again. And it already stinks a lot less than before I met you, so you must be a good thing, if you're better than not-you. Greater than zero equals positive. Also you are beautiful and your wings are awesome. Six of them, Gabriel! Who else has that many wings? You're the first person I know who has any at all!"

"M-maybe," Gabriel admitted.

"Yes," I insisted. "You are way better than nothing. I'm just sorry it wasn't enough to make me stop being stupid, for your sake."

"I dunno. It seems fair to me, just not you," Gabriel sniffled.

"Because what? I should have died? I should have died with the Dark Mark still on my arm? On my soul? I should have died thinking nobody could ever really love me except maybe Mom? I should have died having never seen angel wings? Maybe I should have, but I wouldn't want to. I would much rather my life be the way that it is now than like it was three days ago. Or, no, because you were already affecting me before then, just by agreeing to marry me to save my life. Two weeks ago, when I thought Voldemort was going to kill me for sure. Is that where you think I should have stayed, Gabriel? Or are you just trying to make me feel bad about adopting a poor baby archangel who doesn't even have chartreuse and pink spotted wings. I feel so bad about that, Gabriel."

Gabriel giggled a little through his tears. "W-well, you could've figured a-all that out on your own, kiddo. I j-just happened to show u-up randomly at the time e-everything worked out for you. Y-you didn't n-need me."

I stayed quiet for a few seconds, hoping that Gabriel would start to realize how ridiculous that was. I would be dead as a doornail without him, and my corpse would have an ugly old Dark Mark on its rotting arm.

"D-don't even think that. I-it's too awful to consider, and you w-would've found some less annoying person to get you out of it."

"Okay, I have two problems with that statement. One, I don't think there are that many hot archangels waiting to spring a blond teenager out of a bum deal, and you're the only one who was buddies with Loki. So I don't see a lot of guys lining up to take your place. Second, I need you to explain to me what exactly you think you did that is not awesome, adorable, or tragically heartbreaking, in the past three days. If you can't come up with anything, I win. Got it?"

"I b-bashed your head with the trunk lid thingy," Gabriel started. "Th-that was totally dumb."

" _I_ bashed _my_ head with the trunk lid thingy, which was totally dumb, and you healed me. That falls under adorable."

"Oh. Well, I- I was idiotic enough to turn myself into a toddler, just cause I was tired and grumpy. Y-you can't say that was your f-fault."

"Also falls under adorable. Try again."

"I-if you just say e-everything is adorable, then it's cheating," Gabriel argued. "I-I'm not adorable."

"Okay, let's talk about that," I said. "First, you are adorable. You should see your pouty face. It looks like you perfected it in the mirror, so I don't know how you did that without seeing it. Second, you were an adorable toddler, and I- well, if you have to know how I felt about it-"

 _So, I'm cuddling you, and you suddenly shrink. I worry that you left, but no, it's this little golden-haired toddler in my arms. So I turn you over, and it's you, but it's a little guy. And I can't help falling in love with you, especially because you're so little and lovable and you can't possibly hurt me or try to marry me, which I wasn't ready to handle._

 _Then you have your little hand in my hair, and we're talking and laughing and eating pancakes, and it's perfect, Gabe, 'cause you're so adorable and perfect and I never had a little brother but now I almost wish I had, except I have you anyway which is even better._

 _Then- sorry, Gabriel, but it's gonna get a little scary- I summon the sprinkles. And you love it. You look at me like I'm actually really cool. So I summon the whipped topping- the marshmallow fluff. But unbeknownst to me, your idea of marshmallow fluff comes in five-gallon buckets, and somehow it ends up on my head, and I can't breathe. Not my fault, not your fault. You're like three. Do not blame yourself. I don't even know how that ended up on my head. But you save me. And then you got so worried about me that I had to think about somebody besides myself. I think it was good for me to be forced to calm down a little. I need to grow up, really, Gabriel. And I would do that for you._

 _The next thing I know, you're asleep in my arms again, and then when I wake up you're big again. So please don't try to tell me that was a bad idea unless you were actually listening this whole time, because you need to know my opinion before you tell me what I think of you._

"Did you get all that?" I asked.

"Well, y-yeah," Gabriel sobs. "A-and- and-" He gave up trying to say anything and hugged me.

"Okay, so, is there anything else that you think you did that was annoying that we need to talk about? Or are you ready to admit that I have three days' worth of reasons to love you?"

"Th-those three days r-really weren't awful?"

"Well, Voldemort was awful. But I'm pretty sure you dismantled his arguments, made him look like a total idiot, and killed him. And having the Dark Mark burnt off hurt a bit, but I asked you to do that because it was worth it to me to be free. Other than that- the only thing you could possibly have done better was- stop trying to feed me sugar until I explode. It's not easy to say no to your face, but I really don't have your level of sugar tolerance. I think it's adorable that you're addicted to candy. I just can't live on it like you can. It makes me feel ill."

"So if I'm good, y-you might st-stay for a while?" he asked hopefully.

"I'm not planning to go anywhere, Gabe. I really mean that. I just have to warn you that if you attempt to feed me an inappropriate diet, I will get cranky and sick, because humans can't live like that. I don't know, what do you mean by good?"

"I-I don't know. It was j-just something Kali always m-made me promise to do without explaining wh-what she was t-talking about."

"It kind of sounds like Kali was manipulating you. Trying to get power over you by making it sound like her love for you was conditional on you letting her boss you around and treat you like a second-class citizen."

"She was the only p-person who's even p-pretended to l-love me since I f-fell."

"Which made it easier for her to treat you like shit, and harder on you when she did," I said. "I'm sorry, Gabriel. I can't imagine what that was like. When I left my family, the first thing I found was you."

"Well, I'm not too bad I guess," Gabriel said reluctantly.

"Mm-hmm. Uh, Gabriel?"

"Yes, pumpkin?"

"I'm bored."

"Let's go hiking in the rockies," Gabriel suggested. "There are some pretty cool waterfalls there."

"Can I hike? I haven't been terribly physically active this past year. I spent a lot of time soaking in cortisol and crying."

"Well, if you can't hike, we can just do something else," Gabriel said. "It's not like the rockies are far away or something."

"Just a little," I agreed. "Okay, so we can go anywhere. Too bad I can't think of anything. Too many options. Maybe- I could just take a bath? With bubbles and rubber ducks and lots of hot water?" I pictured me in the bath, but where was Gabriel? "We could have a soap-bubble fight."

"Bubbles are cool," Gabriel agreed. "I'm thinking a giant hot tub with multicolored giant bubbles and a wraparound tv screen- we can binge watch Doctor Who." He waved his hand and we appeared in the previously described hot tub. I was wearing swim trunks. I sank into the hot tub- it wasn't like _hot tub_ hot, just deliciously warm and inviting, and rubbed the water in my hair, reveling in the chance to get nice and clean.

Gabriel was floating on his back, trying to hit the screen with bubbles. He seemed to be aiming for the Doctor's nose. I sank underwater and snuck up behind him.

"Boo!" I announced. "Gabriel, you know what I like about you?"

"I'm incredibly mature and deeply modest," Gabriel sassed, grinning.

"Weeeeell- that wasn't what I was going to say, but-" I pouted, "now my sincere and well-thought-out compliment will just look shabby."

"Aw, come on, I wanna hear it," Gabriel whined childishly.

"Fine. I love how ridiculous you are. I ask for a bubble bath, and you're trying to pin bubbles on the Doctor's nose. But better yet, it's not- scary ridiculous. I'm saying this badly. I could just- watch you be silly all day, and I don't have to worry about making you not destroy the world or anything dumb? Bah, I shouldn't've bothered. I told you it would sound dumb after your- hmmp- eloquent self-compliment?"

Gabriel kissed my cheek. "Y'know babe, you're incredible."

I blushed. "OK, now you have to back that up."

"Just that you see stuff like that," he said. "Most people think I'm annoying, and then you just- it's freaking cool, kiddo."

"Okay, don't start crying on me," I teased.

We both got dunked. I'm sure it was Gabriel's fault, I just don't know what exactly he did. I was gasping for breath, but of course _he_ was unaffected.

"There, now nobody can tell," he announced.

"How is it safe to dunk somebody in a hot tub?" I complained. "What if I'd hit my head? I'd have to keep band-aids on your ego for a week."

"You wound me," Gabriel dramatized. "I've got supernaturally cool aim. And it's a deep hot tub."

"You're in a deep hot tub this time, Jar Jar Binks," I intoned. "Shouldn't've crashed that heblibber."

Gabriel turned himself into a copy of Jar Jar. He pouted at me, then stuck out his massively long tongue and snatched a bubble from the water.

"I hope that didn't taste like soap," I said. "Are you gonna turn back into you now?"

"I speck," Gabriel quoted.

"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent," I said. "Fortunately for you, you're not Jar Jar, so you have a chance of actually being intelligent... OK, OK, fine, you're intelligent, stop tickling me, _Gabriel!_ " I gasped. "Yeesh, what if my head went underwater or something. I don't do not breathing," I reminded him.

"I'd pull you up," Gabriel argued, turning back into himself.

"I know. I just- can't handle it," I said. "I'm sorry. Let's not ruin this. Where'd you put the rubber duckies? We should give them all names and personalities."

About ten rubber duckies appeared around us. They ranged in size from an inch across to nearly the size of my head. Most of them were colored to look natural, but one was hot pink with bright yellow feet, and one was vividly striped with all the colors of the rainbow.

I picked up the multicolored striped one. "Obviously this one's name is Lenny. He likes goldfish and scuba diving. And bubbles."

"Perfect." Gabriel waved his hand, and Lenny came alive. He jumped out of my hands and tackled a bubble, bringing it back to me proudly.

 _Woah_ , I thought. _Lenny is actually alive._

"Hi, Lenny," I said, poking his bill. "What's it like being a duck?"

Lenny chirred but didn't say anything.

"I didn't give him speech capabilities," Gabriel said. "I can if you want him to talk."

"Nah, he's cute like he is. Besides, if he can't talk, we can be mushy without any embarrassing commentary."

"You don't want an embarrassing commentary?" Gabriel asked, feigning shock. "Oh, Draco pumpkin, you need to learn to appreciate the finer things of life."

"You're so cute," I commented.

"Glad you think so," Gabriel snarked, but he dropped his head onto my shoulder.

I wrapped my arm around Gabriel. "How could I not?" I asked.

"You could be a normal person instead of being totally nuts and liking _me_ ," Gabriel whispered. He partially tried to pass it off as a joke, but it didn't work.

I wrapped my arms around Gabriel tighter. "Gabriel- did Kali say you were cute?"

"It's- it's not a big deal," Gabriel said evasively.

"It is if I'm competing with somebody who doesn't want you and tried to hurt you," I said, trying to say it gently.

"B-but- but I- she-" Gabriel vanished.

I dived underwater to wash off the tears. I was worried about Gabriel, but I thought he would probably come back soon. After all, he still has to make sure I'm not going to try to kill myself again. Although, I really _don't_ want to actually die, so I think I probably won't do anything stupid while he's gone.

I realized I wasn't actually alone. Lenny was still here, and he was looking a little worried. I scooped him up and cuddled him. At least I still had somebody Gabriel made. I set Lenny on the edge and tried to get out of the hot tub.

Problem: it didn't work. I was stuck. I took a deep breath and tried to think. Gabriel would probably come get me if I hollered, but he might only need a few minutes to collect himself before he's ready to come back, especially if- which is kind of unlikely- he's figured out that I wouldn't try to make him talk about Kali the minute he comes back. If I'd known he was going to need to run, I would have gone a little slower. I don't want Gabriel to feel like I'm scary or he can't handle being around me. I know I probably pushed too hard. I hope I'm not being a jealous macho alpha male. That would be foolish. Kali's not even the same gender as me. But- she hurt Gabriel. How could she? I am so mad right now. Somehow she hurt him so badly that he's afraid to even talk about her!

Lenny poked my nose. He must've been getting pretty worried about me. If he'd seen me last year, he would know this is _nothing_. I'm really fine. But it's not his fault. He's just a little guy- _wait is that a familiar thought? Nah._

Lenny cannot be Gabriel. Right? Right.

I grabbed the edge of the hot tub and tried to get out again. My skin was getting wrinkly and a little painful. I managed to get a knee over the edge, but then I fell back in, scraping my leg in the process.

I treaded water, thinking what to do. The hot tub was pretty deep, and I was getting tired. I needed to ask for help before this became refrigerator take #2.

"Gabriel? I'm really sorry to bug you, but I'm scared. I can't get out of the hot tub, and I'm going to get too tired to swim soon."


	4. Chapter 4

**Lots of angst and H/C in this chapter. Draco almost drowns, and Gabriel thinks Draco is leaving him and becomes catatonic. Also Lucius bashing.**

 _Gabriel_

I shouldn't've vanished. I just panicked a little, and Draco wouldn't stop, and maybe I overreacted. I just flew a little ways away, maybe I was somewhere in China? Actually, this looks more like Russia. Huh.

I sat on the tundra, watching the stars circle above me. A human couldn't've seen them, but for me it was no problem. Given the placement of the the stars, I was almost in the arctic circle. So I must've really panicked when I was flying. I tend to lose track of distance when I get upset.

" _Gabriel?"_ Oh, that's interesting. Draco's praying to me. I almost flew to the moon to try to run away, but I stayed. What if he was hurt or something? It would be my fault for running away. I'm so dumb.

Draco was still talking. " _I'm really sorry to bug you, but I'm scared."_

Oh no. This was officially a disaster. Draco was scared, and I wasn't there to protect him. I'm a complete failure. The worst archangel ever. OK, so maybe Lucifer is worse. I'll just be the most pathetic and pointless. Yeah, that sounds like me.

" _I can't get out of the hot tub, and I'm going to get too tired to swim soon."_

So it was because of something I'd done in the first place. If I wasn't so- grandiose with my plans, the hot tub wouldn't be too deep and Draco wouldn't be scared.

I flew to the roof of the house to get some idea of what was happening without Draco spotting me. I would deserve it if he yelled at me for being an idiot, but I don't think I could stand it.

Draco was holding onto the side of the hot tub. He looked tired, and his breathing was heavy. Another wave of guilt washed over me.

"Gabriel, are you coming?" Draco pleaded.

I heard him, not just what he'd said, he'd sent it out as a prayer too. It was like the echo on a phone when you stand too close to the person you're calling.

I was too scared to go to him, but I snapped my fingers. He was sitting on the edge of the pool, completely dry and dressed in normal clothes.

 _Draco_

One minute, I was desperately hanging onto the edge of the hot tub and begging for Gabriel to save me. Then I was sitting on the edge, dry and dressed.

"Gabriel? Thanks. I know you needed some space, but you asked me to not die, so- I love you, Gabriel. Go take the time you need. I promise to call if I'm about to die again." Now that I knew I'd told him where we were at, I got up and toweled Lenny off.

"Come on, Lenny," I said. "We'll name your siblings later. I guess you're the first arch-duck."

I left the room with the hot tub and looked for anything familiar. The kitchen, my room, something. Maybe not the kitchen. It had dangerous things like marshmallow fluff, refrigerators, and knives in it. We would be safer waiting in the bedroom until Gabriel came back. I was really starting to worry that I'd pushed him too hard, and he was going to freak out and forget everything that happened between us. I knew he liked me, but I think he was also starting to trust me, and while we needed to iron out this whole Kali business at some point, he probably wasn't ready. I forgot he could just Apparate away and skip out. A human in that position would have to stop the conversation some other less passive aggressive way.

What if Gabriel was so freaked out that he didn't trust me enough to be around me anymore? I mean, he's an archangel, but- that doesn't apply to emotions. I mean, I guess he thinks it should. That's probably why he keeps saying he's pathetic. He thinks being an archangel means he has to be as stoic as his brothers manage to pretend to be on their best days. Maybe he thinks I think that. Oh, no. That would mean he expects me to think he's pathetic and not good enough- ouch. That explains a lot.

"Gabriel?" I called. "I'm sorry. I forgot you think archangels have to be like your brothers said they were. I'm so stupid. Please come back soon. I miss you. Lenny misses you too. I won't make you talk about anything you don't want to talk about. If I ask you something, and you don't want to talk about it yet, you don't have to. I won't be upset and I won't feel any differently about you. Gabriel, I- I'm sorry. I hope I didn't hurt you."

 _Gabriel_

Draco was looking around the house for something. I wasn't sure what, because I didn't want to read his mind. If I read his mind, I would have to hear what he thinks of me. Avoiding that was the point of not going to him when he was in trouble. I couldn't stand finding out what he thinks of me.

So, if I read his mind, the only benefit of not showing up would be Draco not seeing my breakdown. No mind reading.

Maybe I should leave and try to focus on something else for a while. I could come back and check on him every few hours. I'd stay on the planet so I had easy access to him, but it could be good me.

So that left me the whole world to choose from and no plan for how to get Draco out of my head. I went to Springfield, Ohio. Don't ask me why. It looked- random.

So, anyway, I was in Ohio. Nice state. Kinda dull, but I like the Amish woven baskets. Not sure where in Ohio I found those, but it's my main recollection of the state.

I figured I'd play trickster for a while. It would be fun and give me something semi-productive to do. So that meant I needed victims. This one guy really stood out. Repeated dub-con with girls who were barely of age. Also massively smug and stuck-up.

I took a job as a janitor at the college where he taught to get a better idea how to prank him. And then I went back to New Zealand to check on Draco.

He was curled up on the bed asleep. He was still holding that duck I'd made, Lenny. It was adorable. I kissed his cheek and then turned invisible, just in case it woke him. I hope he doesn't hate me. He was still soundly asleep, so I left after petting Lenny for a moment.

Back in Springfield, I watched the professor for a few minutes. It didn't take long for me to come to the conclusion no prank could turn him around. So I'd pick one that was at least most likely fatal.

I made an apartment and flipped through this hokey magazine for ideas. Alien abduction? That was no fun if the victim didn't survive. That TV show thing Draco'd suggested? Nah, didn't sound fun. I wanted more than one person for that one. I thought about drowning him in chocolate sauce, but maybe that was a little too suspicious.

I flew over to the bar to see if there were any fun local legends to exploit. Apparently, a girl had thrown herself out of a sixth story window after a professor broke off his affair with her. I dug for truth, but there wasn't any. It was just a story.

I like playing with stories like that. I made this girl who could turn ghostly and set her to haunt the professor. And then I checked on Draco again.

He was awake, sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked worried about something. I should probably read his mind.

 _I can't look at the fridge. Maybe I could make a sandwich? No, all the stuff would be in the fridge. There must be some stuff in the pantry or somewhere. I can just not Accio anything. Or maybe I should Accio what I need from the kitchen to here. No, because what if something lands on my head again? He might have a 5-gallon bucket of peanut butter, too. OK, so I could go look in the pantry. But I don't want to be in the room with the fridge. So I'm stuck._

 _I can't ask Gabriel for help. I promised I wouldn't bug him again unless I'm dying. He's probably mad at me for bringing up Kali. I tried to be gentle with him, but I guess I scared him away._

 _Oh, no. What if he doesn't like me anymore? No, we're married. He promised, right? What if he wishes he didn't, though? He said I was the best decision he ever made, but that's before I brought up Kali._

 _I'm being ridiculous. It's Kali's fault that he doesn't want to even talk about her, not my fault._

 _I'm so hungry. All I've had is sugar. My blood sugar is probably in the pits. Maybe that's why my head hurts and I feel like crying. Or maybe it's because I'm worried about Gabriel._

 _Kali must've been awful for him to run away from me for hours like that. I'm not even an angel or anything. Just bringing up Kali made him that freaked out. He's been gone for hours. He was still listening, though, so he hasn't dumped me. He's probably just not ready to talk yet. I should calm down and stop worrying about him. He'll come back._

 _But it's been forever._

 _I'm so pathetic. I can't even feed myself without help. Since when does it take an archangel to get a 20-year-old to eat right? This is ridiculous. What would Father think? No, that's not what matters anymore. I only need to know what Gabriel thinks. He likes me even though I'm pathetic. He wouldn't be mad if I asked for help. But that would be so dumb. It's just a freaking kitchen, Draco, get your act together. Gabriel, why'd you have to leave me here for so long? I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry._

Draco started to cry.

I felt awful. I should go comfort him, but I'm not sure how. What if I say something stupid and make it worse? In the end, I panicked for ten minutes before conjuring a bunch of healthy, boring foods that would be really good health wise. And then I fled, crying myself.

 _Draco_

I think Gabriel must have heard me thinking at him. A bunch of random non-junk foods appeared on the bed. So, he still cares about me, but I scared him so badly that he can't come back. But he's feeding me food I can actually live on. Not junk. He really- he really listened to me? I miss Gabriel. I hope he's okay. _ILU, Gabriel, wherever u r._

I made Lenny a little bed out of a blanket on the floor so he wouldn't bug the food. I grabbed a plastic fork and an entire pan of lasagna and started eating. After just a few bites, I started to calm down and feel better. I ended up eating more than half the pan, but it _was_ veggie lasagna, so I probably won't get fat.

Actually, I got pretty skinny over the school year. I could probably use a few calories.

I was comfortably full, had organized the food in order of perishability in case Gabriel was gone for a while, and was comfortably curled up in a blanket when the owl came. I recognised Dad's personal owl immediately, and it scared me. Mom would've used hers if she was writing to me, and I couldn't imagine Dad having anything good to send me an owl about.

The owl dropped the envelope on the bed and left. Lenny was hissing at him. That, I could understand. It wasn't Dad's owl's fault, but an owl from Dad was still bad news.

I was a little nervous about opening it without Gabriel there. It could be something bad. But then, he needed some space, and it _was_ addressed to me.

 _My dear Draco,_

 _I write to tell you of good news. To our deepest regret, our great leader Lord Voldemort the Vile has become indisposed. A few of us Death Eaters who were true to him, myself included, have been forced to take over his vision. We have agreed that in light of this change, you may now be welcomed back home. Do not worry about this Gabriel Farbautison. Our henchmen will assist him in his silence, financially, magically, or, if necessary, toxicologically._

 _It is quite unfortunate that you have already disposed with the mark of your loyalty to Our Lord Voldemort. Proof of your early loyalty to the cause would have been invaluable to your restoration to our fellowship. However, you may still prove your courage and become one of us again soon. I have enclosed your aeroplane ticket and fondly wish you a fine flight._

 _Your father,_

 _Lucius Malfoy_

 _P.S. It occurs to me, that, being very young, you are a somewhat flighty young man. You may believe that you already have feelings for this Gabriel even after less than half a week. I assure you that these feelings will fade. However, they may fade faster if you face the fact that Gabriel does not really love you. To assist you in coming to this conclusion, I have enclosed a small amount of Veritaserum. Use it judiciously._

All I could think was, how dare he? Father had no right to ask me to leave Gabriel right after I'd married him. Besides, I thought a bit smugly, Father doesn't know Gabriel is an archangel. No way would Gabriel let me be forced to go home. We can figure this out. But he needs to know.

I popped open a sterile-sealed chocolate milk and drank some, hoping it would help me stay calm. Gabriel wasn't going to like this at all.

"Gabriel, there's something I need to show you," I called. "I'm okay- I think- but, um, Dad sent me a letter, and we really need to discuss it. It almost sounds like he might try to poison you. Please plan to come talk to me sometime today, at least. I hope you feel better at least enough to handle this. We need to at least discuss it."

"Draco," Gabriel said from behind me. I turned around. "Gabriel," I said.

"H-hi," Gabriel said uncertainly.

"I'm really sorry," I said. "What she did doesn't matter. I love you no matter what. I shouldn't have brought it up without asking first."

"It's ok, pumpkin butter," Gabriel said, smiling weakly. "So, ah, what's up in England?"

I sighed. "Father is being an asshole. He wants me to come home, and he's threatening to bribe, spell, or poison you to make you stay quiet. Oh- in case it's not totally obvious, I'm not going. I want to stay with you. If you can handle Voldemort, you can handle my father. He's pathetic. Remember you said he was a dolt? Yeah."

"Can I see the letter?" Gabriel asked.

"Okay, but try not to assume anything and scare yourself into running away again. I don't want to be responsible for scaring you away twice in one day. Remember that this is just one pathetic mortal dolt talking. You can take him any day." I handed Gabriel the letter. I hope he didn't notice my hands shaking. I wasn't worried too much; Gabriel is way stronger than Father. But I was a little shocked and horrified and a lot angry at how he talked about _my_ archangel.

As he started the letter, Gabriel's hands shook and his face was icily pale. _Oh, no, Gabriel…_ His eyes brimmed with tears. _Wah! Dad, how dare you scare my husband! Gabriel…_ Then his face settled into a dangerous calm. _Wait. He looks mad. And awesome. Is this your awesome face, Gabriel? I think I like it. But- um- maybe don't actually kill him? And please don't hurt Mom. None of this is her fault. She did love me, Gabe, she just couldn't stand up to Dad. You can kill the other Death Eaters though. I don't care. Especially Bellatrix Lestrange. I still remember the bottom falling out of my stomach when she was around. But- oh, wow. Gabriel looks really mad. I guess I'm safe with this guy. He won't let Dad send stupid sneaky yucky letters like that. And he sure doesn't look poisonable._ By the time he put the letter down, his eyes were shining dangerously. It was pretty awesome.

"Gabriel?" I asked, a little timidly. He looked like he was ready to smite somebody, but I knew he would have enough control not to hurt me.

"Well, that was sure entertaining," Gabriel said. "Your dad's quite the douche. I think we should pop over to England for a few minutes sometime over the next few days."

"Well- well, I didn't think it was funny," I said hesitantly. "D-Dad wouldn't usually talk to me all fluffy like that- uhm. Usually, he, uh, well, it's just, y'know, Draco do this, Draco do that. A-and now he's, um, well, he threatened to kill you. And he meant it. He doesn't know you're, um, an archangel-" _pleasedon'tsmiteme_ \- "um, and uh- you're not mad because he could actually do anything right? You would stop him?"

"Of course I would, sweetheart," Gabriel said. He softly kissed me for a moment. "Don't worry your pretty head about it. Letters are flammable."

Since Gabriel seemed to be okay with contact, I hugged him. "I'm sorry," I said.

"Sorry?" Gabriel asked gently. "Sorry for what, pumpkin?"

"I don't know," I said. "I'm scared, and I shouldn't be scared, but I am. I'm sorry, Gabriel. I didn't mean to scare you away earlier. I'm ruining everything."

"Hey, it's ok, it's not your fault," Gabriel said. "Don't be sorry about anything." He kissed me again.

I started crying and put my arms around Gabriel's neck, hoping desperately that he wouldn't disappear again. I would survive without him for a few hours, but it would be awful.

"You won't have to. I'll stay," Gabriel told me. I believed him, but for how long? I would duct tape my mouth if it would keep me from saying anything that would make him leave again. Maybe I should. He would worry, but he wouldn't be tempted to run away. There's no point in talking if it just scares away Gabriel. But how would I stop myself thinking? If I think the wrong thing, I could lose him again.

"Draco, I won't leave," Gabriel insisted. "Don't try to keep from thinking. Just relax. You'll be fine."

I wanted to believe him. I really did. But that didn't prove he could handle staying with me. Earlier today I almost died, and he still left when he didn't want to talk about some dumb thing. Now it's just Dad being Dad. How do I know Gabriel will keep his promise?

Besides, how long is this I won't leave good for? Until I calm down? I'll never calm down. Until Dad is dealt with? That could be over in a few hours. A few days? Until he forgets? How can I trust him if I don't even know what he's saying?

I let go of Gabriel and curled up into a little ball.

Gabriel picked me up and held me. "It's good for one day. A couple can't survive being constantly in each other's company, or I'd go with something longer. And I promise to warn you and ask you to just drop the subject before I vanish next time. And that's good for forever."

One day. That's how long I had to get my act together before he would try something like that again. Maybe if I pretended to be suicidal, he would stay longer.

"Oh, kiddo," Gabriel groaned. "Pay attention, ok? I was wrong, I shouldn't have just vanished like that, and I won't do it again. If something you say upsets me, I will tell you so, long before the point where I would panic and run off. Am I being clear?"

"I only said like 2 things before you left last time. I thought you were going to be okay, I thought you knew I loved you and I wasn't mad and I wasn't going to change anything no matter what happened with Kali. But you left, and I d-don't know what happened…"

"Kali's a sore point," Gabriel said weakly. "She's the reason I panicked, not you. I just started thinking about- things, and ah… let's talk about this later."

"I don't need us to talk about her. I just need to know why I'm supposed to believe that I could've known better than to bring that up or that it wouldn't go the same way if I say something else stupid cause I don't know everything about you yet. How do I know there isn't another Kali hiding behind something I might ask you about?"

"I- Pumpkin, I'm not asking you to change anything in your behavior. I knew that you didn't know not to ask that, and now I know not to leave you alone. So, if it happens again, I'll handle it differently and the result will be different."

I giggled, but it was from hysterics, not happiness. "We're scaring Lenny."

Gabriel looked over at Lenny and groaned. "Why'd you let the duck in the bedroom anyway?"

"Because you ran off, and he was all I had of you," I said fiercely. "That's why. If you're ready to _promise_ that you're not going anywhere, _then_ you can put him back in the hot tub."

"I promise I'm not going anywhere without you," Gabriel said meekly. "Can I put him in the pond now?"

"Yes," I said meekly. "I'll do whatever you say. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"It's fine, dearest," he said. "I deserved it."

 _He didn't call me pumpkin. Maybe I botched something. As long as he doesn't go away._

Gabriel leaned over and kissed me, hard.

 _If I did this, I would be trying to say a bunch of stuff. Like, I love you, stop saying that, stop worrying about stupid stuff. Does he mean that? I- I guess he already tried talking, didn't he? And it didn't really work. I wish I knew how to not be like this. It must be annoying, trying to get through to me and not making it, and now this is probably the last thing he knows to try._

 _It would be nice if this just worked. If I could let go of him running away and trust him not to do it again. He did_ say _it wouldn't repeat itself. Maybe it won't. But if I believe him, then why am I still freaked out? Help me, Gabriel. I don't know how to fix this. I should have burned Dad's letter or asked you to come back sooner or not asked about Kali at all or something. I just didn't know that you would freak out, and I didn't know that I couldn't live six hours without you without freaking out. And now Dad's gonna send henchmen and try to kill you. I don't know what to do, Gabriel. I can't handle this._

"Then don't handle this," Gabriel said. "Let me handle it for you. Just trust me."

"How do I know if I'm trusting you?" I blurted. "I don't know if I can even get that much right."

"Alright," Gabriel said. "I give up. Plan D it is."

He touched my forehead, and I went limp. He caught me before I could fall.

"This won't hurt. Maybe," Gabriel said unconvincingly. He snapped his fingers.

There was no pain. I just- shrank. I didn't remember why I was upset anymore, just that Gabriel was somehow really important. I think something like this but really different happened some other time, and there was sugar involved. Maybe I will get to eat some good stuff? Being a grown up guy is boring.

I looked up at Gabriel. I remembered thinking about how he looked when I was in the plane. I was right- he does have fierce eyes. Gabriel is pretty cool. But- something bad happened, right? And there were rubber ducks, and my skin was wrinkly and weird, and then there was a lot of food or something? I felt like I was missing the point. Meh, who cared? Embrace the moment, right?

I laid my head on Gabriel's shoulder, and took a deep breath.

 _Gabriel_

So, I got annoyed and deaged him. I think he's about four- ish. Very ish. I'm legally married to a four-ish-year-old. Creepy, yikes.

What am I supposed to be doing? I don't know all that much about human children. He's pretty calm now, so I think I'm doing something right. How is this going to work? Do kids eat normal food? Will he need sleep to avoid being really grumpy?

I should've thought this through more carefully. I wanted him to calm down, and I figured it would be easier to reason with a kid. It worked, but I dunno what comes next.

"Are you old enough to talk?" I blurted. "Cause that would make stuff a lot simpler."

Draco sniffed. "I can talk," he said. Then he started crying.

"Whoa, whoa. Kiddo, what's wrong?" I asked.

"I don't know," sobbed Draco. "You're the grown up. How am I supposed to know what's wrong?"

"It'll be ok," I pleaded. "Don't cry."

Draco hiccuped. "Okay. Why am I crying, Gabiel? Did I do something bad?"

"No, course not, sweetie," I said. "You're too angelic to do anything bad."

"Okay," said Draco. He buried his face in my neck and took deep breaths.

"Let's go," I scrambled through everything I knew about kids to try to come up with an idea. "We could watch a movie, maybe?"

"Play with fwosting?"

"You, pumpkin, are brilliant," I said. I snapped us into a specially designed cooking-playroom for kids. There were a lot of kinds of frosting.

"Wanna fost a ginjabed houf," said Draco. "I yike ginjabed houfes."

I snapped up three kinds of gingerbread houses. "Let's decorate," I said enthusiastically.

Draco couldn't take his eyes off all those frosting tubes.

"Dose all fwosting?" he asked, wide-eyed.

"Yep! All frosting," I said proudly. "I'm a connoisseur. Or, I just really like frosting."

Draco reached out and took a fistful of orange frosting in one hand and a fistful of yellow in the other. He smooshed them both into my face. "Now you a fosting man," he declared.

I rubbed little circles of blue frosting onto Draco's cheeks. "And you're a frosting boy," he said.

Draco stretched his tongue as far as he could trying to reach the blue frosting.

"It's stuck," he informed me. "I tant get it off."

"Is that a problem, kiddo?" I asked. "Having frosting stuck on your face is good in my book."

"Ith good," said Draco. "I just wanted to eat it. Can I eat the gingerbed houses instead?'

"Just leave enough to decorate," I said. "Actually, scratch that. I can make more. Eat as much as you want, pumpkin."

Draco grabbed a wall and tried to eat it in five bites. This involved a lot of crumbs everywhere. Then he got thoughtful. He picked up part of a house and threw it at me.

"I thew food at you," he said.

"I squirted frosting at you," I retorted, squirting sunshine-yellow frosting into Draco's hair.

"The othoh day I had food in my hayo, too," Draco thought. "And I thew a pie at you."

"That's right," I said. "The cream was delicious, and you dunked your head in it."

"Why did I thew a pie at you?"

"Ah, for fun?" I guessed. "That's why most people throw pies."

 _But something was wrong. What was it? That's why he shrunk me, right? Something bad happened. I need to figure out what it was._

Draco shrugged and started molesting the second gingerbread house with huge handfuls of multicolored frosting.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I must've shrunk him just far enough.

 _Gabriel was missing. Where did he go? Maybe he had to go to the doctor and talk about spinach. I didn't like being by myself._

Draco climbed into my lap and wrapped his arms around my arm.

I swabbed cherry blossom flavored frosting onto his nose. Draco giggled. "I'm a clown now," he said, still a little quieter than a minute ago.

"Can you juggle?" I asked. "It's an important skill for clowns to learn."

Draco frowned. "I dote know how to juggle," he admitted. "Am I a bad crown?"

"You're a great clown," I told him. "You just need an enchanted ball that juggles itself. That's even cooler."

"Weally? Wayo am I dowing to get one of those?"

"Oh, look," I said. "There's one in your hair." I pulled it out for him and gave him the sparkly ball I _may_ have just conjured.

"How does it woke?" Draco asked, frowning at the ball. He looked up at me. "Gabiel made a bow?"

"Toss it," I recommended. "Palm up will work better."

Draco focused and threw the ball, aiming carefully for my nose.

The ball impacted its intended target, bounced off and landed in Draco's other hand. It slipped off and somehow twisted into the hand he'd thrown it from.

Draco yawned and fell asleep against my shoulder.

That was sudden. Most humans took longer to fall asleep. Maybe kids were different. Anyway, Draco was happily asleep, so I wasn't gonna worry about it. I wondered briefly if I should do anything about the whole Lucius Malfoy thing, but I figured it wasn't worth worrying about. I felt like sleeping, so I brought Draco up to our room and fell asleep pretty quickly.

 _Draco_

I don't remember a lot from before I fell asleep. I think I was upset, and then there was frosting, and then there was some kind of glowing sparkly ball that could juggle itself and I was confused and tired and I think I must have fallen asleep. Gabriel was there, I remember that. Why was that important?

The night was kind of long. I kept waking up, seeing that Gabriel was still there, and falling back asleep, all night. Sometimes I felt bad, but then I would see Gabriel there and things were okay again. That's about all I remember.

When I finally woke up in the morning, Gabriel _looked_ like he was asleep. I rolled off of his chest and curled up next to him. I buried my face in his side.

"You're up early," Gabriel mumbled.

Uh-oh, he was awake.

"Can we just stay here all day?" I begged.

"I will only complain when you try to make me wake up," Gabriel said.

"Okay," I said. "Your armpit smells like you."

"Uh, ok," Gabriel said. "Go back to sleep, little pumpkin."

I curled up with my knees to my nose and tried to fall back asleep. I should have been able to sleep. Gabriel was right there.

I gave up and crawled back onto Gabriel's chest. Whatever that invisible fluffy warm stuff was happened again, and I sighed happily and closed my eyes. I fell back asleep listening to Gabriel's breathing and heartbeat.

Eventually Gabriel got up, but he took me with him, so I was pretty happy. I wasn't _really_ asleep, but I may have pretended to be asleep so he would have to keep carrying me. Maybe he wouldn't've minded, though.

I heard a lot of keys, and then we were in an apartment that smelled different. Our house smells like Gabriel and big spaces, but this smelled like dust, mildew, cigarette smoke, and bunch of other smells I didn't recognise. And Gabriel. There were a lot of brightly colored wrappers all over the floor that crunched under Gabriel's feet.

"Don't put me down," I warned him. "I don't wanna be in a bed or something that doesn't smell like you. This is weird. Why did you bring us here?"

"It's a- my job," he said. "I dress up and pretend to be a trickster."

"Because you're an archangel?" I asked, confused. "Do the other angels have jobs like that, too?"

"Not exactly," Gabriel admitted. "I- uh- I have weird job preferences. And Heaven doesn't need a full time messenger anymore."

"So they let you pick?" I yawned. "Why'd you pick a job that smells like old basement?"

"It doesn't always smell like this," he said. "And there are other benefits. It's fun."

"Are you a candy tester? Why do you have to live here for that?"

"It's just for a few days," Gabriel said. "And my job- I help people reevaluate their life choices by pranking them."

"So you help them go to college?"

"I usually work with older people."

"You help them pick a retirement home?" I was not getting what Gabriel was trying to tell me. "I still don't get how we need a different house for that. How is Lenny going to live all by himself?"

"Oh," he said. He made a mini duck pond in the middle of the living room and Lenny appeared in it.

"Wow," I said. "Hi, Lenny!"

"I need to talk to some people," Gabriel said. "Do you wanna stay with Lenny for a minute?"

"Sure. I'll make sure he's okay. We can have fun, right, Lenny? We can even have a splash fight, cause Gabriel's not like Dad, and he can fix it anyway."

 _Gabriel_

I hadn't been expecting that suggestion to fly. He'd been clingy earlier, but now he seemed fine with me leaving. It was convenient; I was probably going to have to run down to the police station to report a body, and I didn't want Draco seeing it.

The professor was pretty evil, but I left him an out. He didn't take it, so the ghost I'd made pushed him out the window. Trust me, he deserved to die. So I played the horrified, innocent spectator to a suicide and reported it to the police. It was pretty routine, so they didn't question me long.

It was a pretty safe bit of trickster work. A lot of my stuff draws hunters like flies, and this was easily disguised as a simple suicide. Unless someone caught the ghost story, I was safe. I didn't really want hunters after me with Draco around. Normally hunters are fun, but Draco's four. He could get hurt.

The whole thing took maybe forty minutes, and then I popped back to my fake apartment. Draco was lying partly in the duck pond, holding Lenny. And he was asleep. His head was above water, but I still freaked out a little. I should've checked on him earlier, or just brought him with me in the first place.

I pulled him out of the water and dried his clothes. He rubbed his eyes and squinted at me. "Gabriel?" he mumbled.

"Yeah, I'm here," I said. "I didn't want you getting cold."

"I'm not cold," he insisted. "But Lenny might be. He got tired."

"Ducks are fine in water," I said. "And it's lukewarm."

Draco hugged my leg. "How did the talking to people go? Did you tell them to buy the good kinds of candy?"

"Yeah, but they wouldn't listen," I said semi honestly. "I might have to try again in a few days."

"Maybe they just like different kinds than you," Draco pointed out innocently. "Candy's not _so_ important. Angels have a lot of stuff they could do."

"It's not really the kinds of candy," I said. "It's more like- there was this one guy, and he was trying to make people give him their candy when they didn't want to, so I tried to get him to stop."

"Oh. Did you give them back their candy?"

"I can't. He ate it already."

"Then give them different candy," Draco suggested.

"Maybe I'll find something like that to do sometime," I said confusedly. There was no way I was telling Draco why that wouldn't work. "Can we like, watch a movie or something?"

"Can we go home now?"

"Yeah," I said. "Let's go home." I flew back to our home in New Zealand.

 _Draco_

"Did we remember to bring Lenny home?" I checked.

"Course, sweetheart," Gabriel said. "He's down in the duck pond."

I hugged Gabriel. "So what do you want to do?" I asked. "You're the big one for now."

"Oh, um, about that," Gabriel said. "When do you want me to turn you back?"

"I don't care," I said. "Just don't go away and don't let me kill myself."

"You'll be back to normal in a few minutes," he said, sounding tired.

"Gabriel? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just- the past couple days have been kind of a lot."

"Because of me?" I asked worriedly. _What if Gabriel is not okay and it's my fault? That would be awful, but where else am I going to go? Maybe it's just- something else. Maybe he's coming down with the flu. I don't like the flu._

"I've been ignoring a lot of stuff that I knew I'd have to deal with eventually," Gabriel said. "You being here- it's a catalyst. And it's mostly a good thing. I needed to deal with this stuff, and it's just been getting worse sitting around stewing."

"If we fix your wings, maybe it would help you feel better?" _I just want to help. I guess it's not my fault, but I hope I'm doing the right stuff and not hurting Gabriel by poking the wrong things or going too fast._

Gabriel flinched. "Let's- let's um… there's this really nice cafe in Paris you have to see!" He snapped and we appeared in Paris.

"Gabriel, isn't this going to be a bit of an awkward place to grow up fifteen years in five minutes?"

"Uh- I hadn't thought of that," he admitted. "You're too logical, pumpkin. We're going to avoid all of those awkward and embarrassing situations I normally get into."

"Doesn't Lenny need some friends? Ducks live in herds or something, right?"

"Great! We'll go to the pond," he said. A moment later we were standing on the edge of a large pond behind our house. All the rubber ducks he'd originally conjured were there, including Lenny.

"Wow! This is cool, Gabriel," I said excitedly. "Gabriel… Do you think we should ask Lenny what he thinks the other ducks should be like? He could help pick, too, couldn't he?"

"Sure, kiddo," Gabriel said.

Lenny untied Draco's shoelace affectionately. "Hello, hello!" he announced. "Tall fuzzy one, welcome to the great waters of watery wetness! There are even mussels and lakeweed! It's awesome!"

"Hi, Lenny," I said. "How are your stripes today?"

"Strripey," he said, tossing his head in what was probably intended to be an imitation of Gabriel's antics.

"Isn't he great?" Gabriel asked me. "I should let him keep the talking thing."

"Of course," I said. "You can't just take away the ability to speak from a creature. That would be like murder."

"Huh," Gabriel said. "But what if I take the speech away and they can, like, write and stuff. Cause I've taken speech from a lot of people. Some of 'em got it back."

I got quiet. "I- I didn't mean to say anything bad about you, Gabriel. I know there's a lot to you that I don't know, but-"

"It's fine, kiddo," Gabriel said. "It's not like I haven't murdered people, too. You should know since we're together."

"I- I know you've done a lot for me. Stuff that couldn't happen if you were just a run-of-the-mill bad guy. I guess I wouldn't know whether you did more bad than good unless I knew more about you than I really need to know."

"As long as you know I'm not always playing the good guy, I guess it's ok," Gabriel said. "I told you I was fallen. It doesn't mean nothing." Gabriel ducked his head and looked away from me.

"I can't promise I'll be okay with anything you tell me you did. But I don't mean I won't love you or anything. I just- it might be hard to process, and I might freak out, and- stuff. I'm not always sure you even see the good stuff about you. So I probably won't ever be as mad at you as you are at yourself."

"Why don't- why don't we just get this over with as soon as possible. I'm in the middle of messing with a town in Ohio. I'll take you there, and you can watch. You'll get a decent baseline for what I do."

"M-messing with? You're not killing a bunch of people, are you?"

Gabriel shook his head half-heartedly. "I already killed one person. I picked out four more targets, and only one of them will die. The others I'm just messing with and won't seriously hurt."

"Why? Why are you killing and messing with people?"

"I'm bored," Gabriel snapped.

"That's it?! You're just bored? Why on Earth would being bored make you want to kill people? Are you a psychopath or something?" I yelled. I wasn't really- that mad. Just really confused. And he needed to know that that was either not an answer or a really scary answer.

Gabriel flinched. "So what? I can be a psychopath if I want!"

"That's- that's really sick, Gabriel. I'm not sure what to think. I can't fathom why you would ever think that hurting people is a good way to handle being stressed and bored."

Gabriel crossed his arms. "When I dumped Heaven, I turned myself into a trickster. I wouldn't have to act like one, but I do to keep myself from going insane."

"So you're like one of those creeps that loves to watch people die on Youtube?"

"Uh… no," Gabriel said. "I enjoy playing pranks, sometimes deadly ones, on people who deserve it."

"And what's the criteria for deserving it? You just don't like them or something?"

"It depends on the person," Gabriel said tentatively. "A lot of the time it's because they're hurting someone else, but sometimes if they're stuck-up dicks I play non-fatal pranks on them."

"So you at least think you're being fair or something? I don't know, Gabriel. That's a lot of power to exert over people, deciding who's going to die or get pranked. Do you even make sure that the not-so-bad ones survive your little jokes as well as you expect them to?"

"I know how to pull a prank," Gabriel argued, irritated. "A lot of the time I let them pick whether to live or die, and if they choose to do whatever nasty thing was the death option it's their own stupid fault."

I didn't like this one bit. So I decided to pull Gabriel's own trick back on himself. I jumped in the duck pond and swam away underwater. I swam away about forty feet, then stopped and turned to look at Gabriel. He crossed his arms, that was all I could see from here. Then he turned and walked away. _Well, good,_ I thought. _Let him think about that for a minute. He started it, and we can discuss this after- well, whatever this is. I'm not dumping him or anything._

About halfway to the door, Gabriel slumped so far that he looked half his height. He started dragging himself to the door and struggled to open it.

Apparently I'm the one who overdoes tricks, not Gabriel. I started swimming back, but it didn't take long for me to realize that it wasn't going to be fast enough.

"Gabriel, hey, where are you going?" I called. I already knew he could hear me if I was talking to him, even if he wasn't right there, although I didn't know how far away he'd gone the other day.

I swam doggedly toward the shore, but I kept getting slower and slower. Gabriel was in a little lump somewhere around the door, not changing shape or size, so I knew he wasn't moving.

Finally, I made it to the edge. I climbed out and started walking toward Gabriel, slowly. He didn't move away.

"Gabriel, I'm coming," I said. "I'm not going to hurt you- and- oh, you thought I was leaving, didn't you. I'm not. I just- I guess it's a good thing I'm not a trickster, because I do not have the right color thumb for that." He was still a sobbing lump unaware of anything when I got to him.

Seeing my angel a sobbing mess like the world had ended was really hard. It seemed like every other thing I do hurts Gabriel way more than I would ever have guessed. Was I lucky that he still wanted me, or was he just worse off for being around me? I didn't know. I hoped I wasn't just hurting Gabriel more by being here, but judging by his reaction when he apparently thought I was leaving- wizards totally keep their TARDISes in the bottom of duck ponds, by the way- I'd better not leave. Ever. Not even to see my mom. Because, apparently, leaving Gabriel would hurt him more than anything else I could botch. I hadn't seen him this broken even when he showed me his wings or before or after he ran away after I asked about Kali.

"Gabriel, I'm not leaving you," I insisted. "I was- I was being tactless. I thought going for a swim would force you to think about how what you told me sounded, but- I never ever meant for you to think I would ever dump you."

I knelt next to Gabriel and wrapped my arms around him.

"Y-you aren't l-leaving?" Gabriel asked.

I tucked him under my chin. "What possible answers do you think there are to that question?"

"Yes and no?" Gabriel asked, trying pathetically for a light tone.

"And which of those means never ever ever?" I asked softly. "Cause that's the one I need to tell you and you need to hear."

"So you're really staying?" Gabriel sobbed. "I kn-know the t-trickster thing is bad."

"Well, I dunno," I said. "It certainly could be. But honestly, I can't really see anybody being _more_ upset than you were a minute ago when you thought I was leaving."

"I'm j-just gonna make the next one think he got k-kidnapped by aliens," Gabriel said. "It's n-not very bad."

"What did he do to earn that?" I asked, a little amused.

"He's the pledge master f-for a fraternity," Gabriel explained. "And some of the initiates got pretty badly hurt. The a-aliens aren't gonna be mean or a-anything. They'll just make him s-slow dance."

"I might actually want to see that," I said. "Where'd you get the idea? Is he afraid of aliens or something?"

"The aliens bit w-was in a magazine," Gabriel said. "And one of the people who got h-hurt in the initiation was m-made to slow dance naked on an ice rink. H-he got hypothermia."

"Ewwww," I fussed. "Gabriel- that's disgusting. He deserves worse than aliens. I hope he _is_ scared of aliens. You ought to add dumping a bucket of spiders on his head to your bucket list. Well- not poisonous spiders or anything. Just a lot of them."

"Y-you're not m-mad at me?"

"No, Gabriel, does your name stand for dumbass? I'm mad at _him_. Duh!"

"Oh." Gabriel cuddled closer to me. "You're not mad and you're staying," he breathed.

"Did, um, the other _targets_ deserve what they got that much?" I asked, a little hesitantly. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what was worse enough to merit death. I was starting to think Gabriel was _trying_ to convince me to hate him or something stupid like that.

"The one from a couple of hours ago, ah, _pressured_ a lot of students. He was creepy. He could've lived. I sent a fake ghost, and she looked normal and young- way too young for him- and pretty at first. If he'd backed off she would've shown off a bunch of dead skin and general scariness and left. He didn't, so she terrorized him and threw him out a window."

"Didn't back off- as in- like, r-raped her?"

"More like dub-con, and he didn't get that far, but yeah. So I killed him."

"What's dub-con?"

"Shortened form of dubious consent," Gabriel said. "It's the grey area where the rules don't explain stuff properly."

"How is that a thing? She either was okay with it or not- wasn't she? Did he slip something in her drink first or something?"

"It's not that simple, kid. It never is. He had psychological power in the situation, well- before she revealed herself as a zombie anyway, and he used it. And she was half backing off part of the time. It gets confusing, but he certainly shouldn't've been willing to go with it."

"That sounds bad," I agreed. "Gabriel, why did you pretend you were killing random _innocent_ people for kicks? You could have just told me you were trying to mete out justice."

"I-I don't know," Gabriel said, starting to cry again.

I held him closer. "It's okay," I said. "I'm not that mad- but you could have spared yourself me getting mad at all if you'd started with the truth."

"I e-exaggerate," Gabriel sobbed. "I don't kn-know why. I c-can't help it."

"Gabriel, shh," I whispered. "It's not nearly as stupid as the refrigerator. We will be okay. I don't understand why you feel like you have to lie, but it's not your fault. We can work this out."

"Not lying," Gabriel argued weakly. "J-just exaggerating and tr-trying to p-paint myself in the w-worst possible l-light."

Now we were both crying. I hugged Gabriel and rocked him a little.

"I love you anyway," I promised. "It just- it's hard to hear you talk about yourself that way. You really scared me. I thought you were hurting people who didn't deserve it, and I was afraid that- that maybe what I knew about you was all wrong, like you'd been manipulating me or something. I would've stayed anyway, but that doesn't mean I wasn't scared. But, Gabriel, that wasn't true. And now I just- feel so bad that somebody like you could be hurt like this. It's probably a good thing that I don't know who did this to you. You might not like hearing exactly what I think of them."

"J-just hold me, and e-everything will work out," Gabriel stammered.

"I will," I said. "Is the doorstep the best place for cuddling, though? It seems like you might be a little more comfortable on the couch or the bed or somewhere."

"C-can you carry me?"

"I would love to, but I'm not sure how far we'll get," I said. "I was in a bit of a frantic hurry to swim back to you. I'm still no Triwizard tournament champion."

Gabriel got lighter in my arms. "I o-only weigh thirty pounds now," he said. "P-please carry me?"

I could handle thirty pounds. My arms would fall off later, but Gabriel could fix that better than I could fix him. I scooped him up and carried him into the house. I giggled. "Now we're married," I joked.

I started looking for a good place to hang out. I ended up deciding the bedroom was fine. We'd been there before, so it wasn't that weird.

 **I plunked us on the bed and wrapped a blanket around Gabriel. Then I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his shoulder. He curled into me and fell asleep. I was tired from swimming and carrying Gabriel, so pretty quickly I fell asleep too.**


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter would honestly be M if it were by itself. Draco and Gabriel discuss sex, Draco freaks out, and for some reason Gabriel thinks that going through the pagan marriage ceremony will be fun and easy. It's not. Ritual violence, panicking Draco.**

 ***** Please note: the rating has been changed to M due to mature content in later chapters.*****

 _Gabriel_

I would say I woke up, but I'd be lying. I actually never fell asleep, so- yeah. I spent most of the night watching Draco sleep and listening to his breathing. I'm not sappy! Stop thinking that! OK, so I'm the one thinking that. I need to go back to my regular activities before I turn into a hopeless romantic who stares deeply into Draco's eyes all day.

Two hunters picked up the case I left in Springfield, and I think I'll go get interviewed. They're Mikey and Lucy's vessels for the coming apocalypse, blah, blah, blah- basically I'm interested enough to poke at them.

Except Draco would think I'd dumped him if I ran off. How was I supposed to avoid that? I think most people would've written a note or something, but that would be boring. Instead I picked out another of the ducks I made earlier and brought her to life. I named her Raspberries. She was tiny, hot pink, and had this squeaky voice three octaves above everybody else's. She likes jumping off of tall objects and nesting in people's hair.

I gave her the ability to talk. I told her I had somewhere to be, and to tell Draco I'd be back soon and to call me if he needed me. And then I flew over to Ohio and put on my janitor's uniform.

The hunters, Sam and Dean Winchester, introduced themselves as electricians. Their cover was ok, but it wouldn't fool anyone who had been in the business since IDs were invented. So I wasn't impressed. The fact that I could read their minds didn't help.

I was over there for a while. Sam and Dean were already at odds with each other, so I stole Sam's laptop to mess them over further. Sam didn't even consider the possibility that it wasn't Dean's fault, and they fought pretty hard. Sam threatened Dean's precious car, so I had the next prank to pull on those two.

I ran the whole alien abduction thing before I headed back home to check on Draco. He was still asleep. I was starting to worry a little. Was this much sleep normal for humans? He had been in a lot of stress. His mind probably needed the chance to process. I kissed his forehead tenderly, and flew back downstairs.

I didn't have anything to do, so I flipped through a couple books and turned to tv on. I don't know what channel was playing. I couldn't focus on anything. I did ten loops around the Earth and popped back in to check on Draco.

He was still asleep. I figitted like a nervous child for _hours_ waiting for him to get up. OK, so it was more like two minutes. Still, I was _bored_. I don't wanna be bored. I dove into the depths of the ocean and found a giant squid. I tried to talk to him, but he wasn't interested. I think he only cares about food and his mate.

I would've done something with the hunters thing back in Ohio, but I'd done everything it was reasonable to do. I just had to wait. I sat patiently on the couch, sure Draco would wake up soon. I waited and waited and waited.

I went to Italy and looked through an art gallery for pictures of me. Apparently, they think I'm a cross between a girl and that vampire dude from the movie. What's his name? Oh, Edward Cullen. I could be Edward Cullen. That could be _fun_. But Draco would be annoyed with me if I tried. Or maybe not. He's pretty patient.

And I'm not patient. I did ten more loops around the Earth and settled back into the living room at home. Draco was still asleep. I felt like a little kid in the car on a road trip, asking "Are we there yet?" every sixty seconds.

I decided to fly over to Mars. I didn't want to go too far away, but I wanted Draco to wake up and couldn't want anything else.

 _Draco_

I shifted in my sleep, and something felt wrong. Shouldn't there be a Gabriel around somewhere? Then I remembered how freaked out he'd been the previous night, and I got worried.

OK, so I kind of leaped out of bed and ran and checked, like, the pond and the refrigerator and places. I didn't even notice the hot pink 1" rubber duck running around squawking at me until I stepped on her.

"A-eak!" she squeaked like a train horn. "No stepping on people! Eak!"

I looked around at eye level. "What? Who's there?" Obviously, the whole no stepping on people thing should have been a dead giveaway, but I wasn't too smart with Gabriel unexplainedly vanished- again. It took me a minute, but I saw the little duck on the floor, looking a little smushed.

Fortunately, she was still a rubber duck, so it was easily fixed.

I picked her up and held her where we could see each other. After all, we wouldn't get very far with her talking to my toes.

"Okay, quietly. What is your name?"

"Raspberries," she said. "What's yours?"

"I'm Draco. Do you know where Gabriel is? Please tell me he's okay."

"He's bored," she said seriously. "He went to Mars. And he said you could call him if you needed him."

"He- went to Mars. Okay. Did he sound upset? Did he tell you when he'd be back?" I knew I was being a little hyper, but Gabriel is just important, okay?

"He was just bored. He said you'd been asleep forever, twice." She tilted her head to the side and made a funny squawking noise.

I petted her head, or cuddled it or whatever. I mean, it's not like rubber ducks can be petted like they're cats or something.

Raspberries purred.

I tucked her against my chest and went outside to see if Lenny was still on the duck pond.

He was.

"Hi, hi! Draco! It's so absolutely wonderful to-" he froze and got super shy. "Draco, is that a girl duck?"

"Oh, yes! And you're a boy," she announced loudly.

Lenny ducked his head. "I'm a duck," he objected mildly.

I looked at Lenny and then at Raspberries a few times. "Um, what's going on here?" I asked.

Lenny inspected his feet.

"We're talking!" Raspberries said excitedly. "And he's got rainbow stripes!"

I _was_ going to set Raspberries down to check out the duck pond, but now I wasn't sure if that was a good idea. I wasn't really sure I needed to observe the process of producing baby rubber ducks.

Lenny took off at a very fast pace across the pond and back, beating the water with his wings. He barked excitedly when he came back. "I am a duck!" he yelled loudly.

"I saw," Raspberries said, fluttering her eyelashes. "You're quite the duck."

Lenny stretched his neck out and looked like he was trying to get it to fall off.

"Do you like my stripes?" he asked.

"Bright enough to melt a frozen pond," Raspberries gushed.

Lenny looked a little confused for a second. "Well, uh- you look very bright, too, uh, my lady." He pretended to doff his cap, which was an epic fail with no cap and no hands. He scrabbled to avoid falling over backwards. No luck. I actually had to help him back up, because he couldn't get off his back.

Raspberries fluttered her wings. "You're too kind, my lord."

Lenny almost choked. "What?! I'm not- um, er, I mean," his voice changed. "Hellloooo, pretty darling." Then I was the one who almost choked. Gabriel should be here, not me. He would love this stuff.

"So, I was thinking," Raspberries said. "Do you want to go out for coffee sometime?" She blushed and ducked her head.

"I would love to go out with you, Your Royal Highness," said Lenny grandly. "But- I don't know as I've ever heard of rubber ducks drinking coffee. Maybe I could bring you some choice mosquitos?"

"Oh, that's so romantic! I mean- I'd love that."

"Drray- cao, could you set my lovely darling down for a moment? We have a mosquito date!"

"Oh, do! I want to see my lovely sugarball up close!"

I winced. "Lenny, be a gentleman, and make sure you bring her back by eleven o'clock sharp. Do you understand me?"

"Oh yes, of course we'll be back by eleven am," Raspberries assured me.

"Raspberries!" I said, exasperated. "Eleven pm! If I find out that you were out alone together all night, I will take away all your mosquitos for a week!"

"I promise, Draco," said Lenny innocently. "Thank you for allowing me to date your lovely daughter."

I sputtered. I didn't even help create Raspberries at all! Lenny was much more my son than Raspberries was my daughter.

"Don't worry, daddy dear," Raspberries said. "I'm sure Lenny is a mature, strong, reliable duck. It's in those stripes."

I blushed and gave in. "Fine. We'll pretend I'm your daddy. Honestly, I'm more worried about you than Lenny, darling."

"Oh, that's so sweet! You're worried about me," Raspberries gushed. "Lenny will- protect me." She wiggled her eyebrows.

Lenny stood up so straight he almost fell over again. "I certainly will," he said. "Sweet Raspberries. Draco, I swear by my feathers that you need have no cause to fear for the young damsel's safety."

"You don't have feathers," I said, then put my hand over my mouth. "Lenny, I'm sorry."

I was stumbling over myself for nothing. Lenny and Raspberries were too busy looking deeply into each other's eyes to pay me any attention.

I set Raspberries down gently and skedaddled.

I may or may not have been hiding under a blanket tent when Gabriel got back. It's not my fault. Those ducks would be too crazy for a lot of people, and with Gabriel gone, I felt responsible to make sure they were okay.

"Hey, pumpkin," Gabriel said, appearing out of nowhere. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I muttered. "We're all doing great. Lenny and Raspberries really hit it off. I hope you have room for a truckload of baby ducks, Gabriel."

"Oh, are they- oh," he said.

"Lenny fell over backwards for her. Literally. And he acted like the most ridiculous sappy fool."

"So you're hiding because you're embarrassed," Gabriel guessed.

"They're ridiculous," I complained. "Of course I'm embarrassed. I never believed in love at first sight, but chemistry at first sight those two definitely have."

Gabriel slid in beside me. "So, do we have 'chemistry'?" he asked teasingly.

"I dunno. I like you, and I feel safe with you. But I don't know as I necessarily have wild ideas that- well, never mind, okay, yeah, fine, we have chemistry. It's just- not the same kind as you have in the first two seconds because it's not the first two seconds."

"We are out of the first two seconds," Gabriel noted, voice lower than normal. I looked over and noticed his adorable messy windswept hair, bright, hopeful eyes, and pink cheeks.

"Um- yeah," I said, a little bit distracted.

Gabriel moved closer to me. "You're cute when your cheeks turn red," Gabriel breathed.

"Um- thanks?" _What are we doing? Is this how this stuff happens? I don't know what's going on! Does he know I have no idea about any of this? He can read minds, but I don't know if he is! Aagh, Gabriel's looking at me. Damn he's cute. Damn._

"Don't worry," he said. "We can take this slowly if you want."

"Do you even have condoms and stuff?" I blurted. _**Awkward moment of the century**_. Just saying.

"Do we need them? You're a virgin, and I'm not even human. I think we're safe."

"Did I tell you I was a virgin?" I asked, confused. "I mean, I am, but I don't know if I actually mentioned that."

"Not out loud," Gabriel said. "You've repeatedly shouted it telepathically."

I blushed. "Well, I don't know anything about anything, so, um- I dunno."

He wiggled his eyebrows. "I can teach you."

I think I made dreadful faces. I must have made dreadful faces. "Ineverevenkissedanybodybeforeyou," I squeaked. _Is this really a good idea? Maybe. I have no idea. I mean, I guess we're married, but- THIS IS SO WEIRD!_

"We don't have to do anything today if you don't want to," Gabriel said. "We've got the rest of time and more."

"Yeah, but you want to, and I don't even know what I want," I said. My pants were starting to get tight from all of this awkward discussion, but it's not like I had never had that happen before.

Gabriel lightly kissed my forehead. "I don't want to pressure you into anything you're not sure you want," he said. "Let's take this slowly."

"What if it's weird?" I said. "I'm scared."

"If you worry about it you'll make it weird," Gabriel complained. "And then the whole thing'll be awkward."

"How am I supposed to not be awkward? It's my first time! In case you hadn't noticed like five times already." My eyes were getting watery.

"Hey, don't cry," Gabriel said. "Pumpkin butter, listen to me. It'll be fine. And we aren't doing anything today."

I wanted to turn away and cry, but I was afraid Gabriel would take that as a rejection, so I looked at my socks instead.

Gabriel put his arms around me in a non-sexual manner and rubbed my back. "Please don't worry."

For some reason this made me feel less stressed, but cry more. "I- I'm not really all that worried. I'm just n-nervous. I don't know, Gabriel. I'm just a kid. Please don't be mad at me."

"Oh, sweetheart, course I'm not mad," Gabriel said.

"But you said if I felt weird about it I would r-ruin it," I sobbed.

"Then the first half of the first time'll be kinda awkward," Gabriel said. "We'll move past it, and two months later it'll be funny."

I turned and hid my face in Gabriel's shirt. "I'm ruining everything," I complained.

"No, pumpkin, you're not ruining everything," Gabriel said. "You're not ruining anything. You're fine."

"B-But that's not what you said the-the first time," I sobbed. "N-now you're just being nice c-cause you like me."

"I have no idea what I'm supposed to say," Gabriel said. "Um- yeah, I like you? That's the only accurate thing you said just now, but at least it's the most important."

So, if he didn't know what to say, I guessed this was one conversation he hadn't had with Kali.

"Kiddo, I love you," Gabriel said. "The other stuff doesn't matter that much."

I cried some more. I had no idea there was this much crying involved in marriage. Why weren't Lenny and Raspberries having these problems?

"Calm down, kiddo," Gabriel said gently, rocking me a little. "It's ok to cry. You're ok."

"Why is it okay to cry? This is terrible! Love is supposed to be about chocolate and candles and stuff, not soap opera melodrama."

"Oh-kay," Gabriel said slowly. "If you still want chocolate and candles later, we can work on that. Um…"

I decided to give up on talking. It wasn't getting us terribly far.

"Can we watch a movie? Do you have any good ones?"

"I have any movie ever made," Gabriel said. "Perks of being an archangel."

"Can we watch a kids' movie? Like Monster, Inc. or Toy Story or something?"

"Oo yay!" he said. "I love Monsters Inc. Let's watch it!" The ceiling morphed into a tv screen and started the jazz music and flying doors. Gabriel and I curled up together and happily watched the movie. For some reason he seemed to like the ridiculous parts with Mike Wazowski and Celia. I'm personally more of a Sully person, but whatever. OK, so the ridiculousness with the cars was cute. It reminded me of Gabriel. But some of the stuff Mike says is just silly.

I cried so hard when they had to leave Boo behind. I always cry when I watch sad movies, as long as Father's not around to see it and I don't think there are Gryffindors waiting to socially kill me.

"Gabriel, they're never gonna see her again," I wailed.

"You sure about that, sweetheart?" Gabriel asked.

"OK, I know, I saw the movie, but it's soooo saaaaad," I said. "For the longest time I thought this music here was the saddest music in the world. Then I realized it's the same one from the start of the movie, but whatever."

"Aw, that's cute," Gabriel said. He kissed my cheek.

I giggled. "I know. I'm dumb. Watch the movie. This is the best part, where Mike shows Sully he fixed the door."

"I am watching the movie," Gabriel breathed in my ear. He nipped it lightly.

"Gabriel, do you want me to think this movie is about monsters or about us? You have to pick. If you really want me to be deluded about its content for the rest of my life…"

"I wouldn't mind," Gabriel whispered. He licked my cheek.

"Gabriel," I whispered sweetly. "I'm not a cupcake."

"You're still edible."

"Yeah? So what kind of food am I, then?"

"You want me to find out?" Gabriel suggested.

"You already had a lick," I pointed out. "Come on, you must at least have some ideas."

"Lemon ice?" Gabriel guessed.

"So you put frosting on an ice the other day? Only you, Gabriel," I said.

Gabriel smirked. "I could eat frosting off you now."

"So that's why you don't think sex is weird; you associate it with having a sugar rush," I said.

"I associate everything with having a sugar rush," Gabriel said innocently. "Sex is no different, although there are other kinds of rushes…"

I chuckled. Gabriel had a one track mind, for sure.

"You seem really interested in sex today," I commented. "Seriously, what happened?"

"I got horny?" Gabriel asked. "Duh."

"Um… If you need to like, be alone for half an hour or something, it's okay. I promise I won't dump you or anything. I'll be around when you get- done."

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "If I wanted to stop being aroused, I'd snap my fingers and it'd stop. Watching you react is more interesting."

"I just want to know why this is happening today in particular as opposed to, say, yesterday or tomorrow or whenever."

Gabriel sighed. "My instincts are panicking cause they think you might leave. They want me to find a way to cement our relationship to keep you here. It's dumb, and it's not important or anything, it's just driving me crazy."

"Do you want to discuss why I'm not leaving? Because I already have a lot of reasons to stay, and a lot more reasons not to go home."

"Talking won't help," Gabriel said. He pouted and crossed his arms and generally looked miserable. "We haven't even finished the marriage ceremonies, and already you acted like you wanted to leave."

"I was being dumb. I do that a lot. You left, so I wanted to know what you would do if I was the one who left, but I thought if I stayed where you could see me and was only moving away from you for like fifteen seconds, you would know that I was just- playing. Pretending to leave when, I thought, we both knew I wasn't, just to see what you would do. I had no idea you would think I was actually leaving. You left for six hours, where I couldn't see you, didn't know where you were, didn't know when or if you were ever coming back. Now I'm worried that if I ever even stomp off during an argument to go sit in the next room, you'll freak out and react like I dumped you!"

Gabriel sniffled. "I probably would. So you can- you can just- argh!" He burst into tears and punched the wall hard enough to crack the plaster.

I pulled Gabriel into my arms and checked his fist. It was fine. Which makes sense, an archangel probably couldn't hurt themselves on a wall made of wood and plaster even if they wanted to.

"I'm sorry," I said. "It seems like a lot more is going on with this than you've told me. You probably have good reasons to be reacting like this, but I don't know what they are. It's okay if you can't tell me. I'm not sure I'm really ready for us to have sex yet, but I promise I want to stay with you. I consider us married, Gabriel."

He groaned. "It's a human marriage! They break, like, all the time. And I know the pagan marriages aren't much better, but the angelic marriage I really want from you is literally unbreakable."

"This would be that third marriage you mentioned but said nothing about," I noted.

"Yeah," he mumbled.

"Well, uh- do you want to tell me about it?"

"It's a pretty simple spell. It'll only work dreamwalking, so you'll have to be asleep," Gabriel started uncertainly.

"Okay," I said. "What- um, I mean, how does it- er, how can be unbreakable? What do you mean by that?"

"It'll tie us together past the end of time," Gabriel said. "We'll have to have physical contact every day or it'll burn us until we can't think properly, we'll always be able to find each other, we'll be miserable if we have any serious relational issues or if the other is hurt, and you won't be capable of selling your soul."

I had to think about that for a second, but I knew what I thought. "That sounds pretty good," I said. "So- are you ready to officially begin our eternity together?"

Gabriel blinked at me, shocked. "You- you _want_ to be stuck with me? Like, for forever?"

"Uh-huh."

"Whoa," he said. "I- uh, I guess I'll set the spell up. It only works at midnight, so I guess we'll do it in-" he stopped to check his watch. "It's two in the morning."

"Cool," I said. "So, like- what happens? I just don't want to botch it or anything. And- I guess I'm kinda excited. Like, I'm gonna be tied to you forever, _and_ we have mandatory relationship maintenance, so, like, I get to keep you forever- yeah, I'm excited."

"Well, you just have to sleep," Gabriel said. "And I'll visit your dreams, and bind my grace to your soul. You don't have to do anything but accept it. Oh, and- uh, it'll only work if we love each other unconditionally."

I panicked. "What if it thinks I don't love you unconditionally and it doesn't work! You might like, decide you don't want to do this… oh, I guess that's not unconditional either. How are we ever going to make this work? Nobody knows if their love is really unconditional. I knew I was going to botch something important within the first few days! Now I know what!"

Gabriel was unimpressed. "You done?"

"How am I supposed to know that either?!" I retorted.

"Draco, calm down," Gabriel said. "I don't think it'll be a problem. And if something goes wrong, we'll still be married in two cultures. But nothing's going to go wrong."

"Okay," I said. "But that doesn't mean this is something that can just- not happen, and I won't be really disappointed. It- sounds really awesome, and I'm so afraid that I will just botch everything, and you- won't want to be married to me, cause I'm stupid and I did something dumb, like trying to talk about Kali or going freaking swimming without you, when you were like, right there- and how am I supposed to know what's coming or what not to do? I'm not an archangel. I don't have anything figured out much, except I like being around you and I want to stay with you, and Dad is- well, he can stuff his letter- somewhere-"

Gabriel put his hand over my mouth. I looked up at him. He looked like he was a little sad and a lot trying not to laugh.

"Stop obsessing about this," he said. "It's cute that you're worried, but you need to calm down and do something else. How about we do the other marriage? It's impossible for you to mess up, as you don't do anything."

"I thought I had to cut myself exactly right in five places and sit still while you branded and tattooed me," I said. "Was that exaggerated, too?"

"The pagan marriage ceremony- well, it wasn't designed for strictly consensual marriages. You won't be able to move, and I'll be the one cutting you in all the right places. So, uh, your job is just to try not to panic."

I panicked. "You're not going to have to castrate me or something, are you?"

Gabriel groaned. "You were supposed to calm down because I changed the subject," he complained. "Why didn't it work?"

"Just tell me I get to keep my balls, and I promise I'll calm down," I said.

"I'm not cutting off anything," he reassured me. "You won't have any permanent damage."

"Okay," I said. "I guess- I'm probably not really gonna calm down, so you might as well just get it over with. Just don't construe anything I say to imply that I'm leaving you, ever."

"Will it help if I explain everything before I do it?" Gabriel asked.

"Yes," I said. "Because otherwise I'll probably assume way worse things must be about to happen and freak out way more than necessary."

"Alright," he said. "I'm going to teleport you to a meadow in the countryside." He tapped my forehead and we appeared in a meadow. It was dark out, obviously, so there were a lot of stars. You can see them a lot better when you're out away from any cities. I wasn't sure I'd ever seen that many stars at once. At least if this was going to be scary, I wouldn't be in some confining dungeon type place, and I could look at the stars. I hoped when I couldn't move, I would be able to see them. That would help.

"OK, so um," Gabriel said.

"Now you chop me up, right?" I said, mostly light-heartedly.

"I tie you up first," Gabriel said. "Relax."

"Okay," I said. "I'm not good at relaxing, so just tie me up already?" I held out my hands thinking he was going to handcuff me.

Gabriel snapped his fingers, and I was immobilised as thoroughly as if he'd put a full body-binding curse on me. My arms snapped to my sides and an invisible force kept me upright.

"I'm going to cut a sigil into your upper arm." He cut through my sleeve and slashed at my skin a few times with a ceremonial dagger. "And, uh, now on the other arm." I could feel that the mark was similar but not the same.

Gabriel conjured a cereal bowl and pulled my arm above it. "I'm going to cut the back of your forearm," he said. He slashed a vertical line on the back of my arm just above my wrist. I gasped in pain but didn't say anything. My blood dripped into the cereal bowl.

Gabriel flipped my arm over and bandaged it quickly. He stepped a few feet away from me and started carving designs like the ones on my upper arms into his cheeks.

"Why do you have to cut yourself up, too? I thought you just had to cut _my_ flesh because pagan rituals are evil," I said. Then I realized that wasn't very tactful. Gabriel had chosen to do this thing, so I figured it was worth it. Maybe evil wasn't the best word to use. I meant because pagan gods are supposed to be being assholes, but that might not have gone down any better.

"It's a binding ceremony, not a subjugation ceremony," Gabriel said. "Mostly. And that means I get cut up about the same as you." He sliced his palm and started bleeding into the cereal bowl, chanting in a language I didn't recognize.

Our blood started swirling together on its own. He snapped his fingers and a tree root appeared on the ground. He started peeling off the bark. He tore the bark into tiny pieces and sprinkled them into the cereal bowl, where they mixed with the blood.

"I warned you about the tattoo, right?" Gabriel asked worriedly.

"You mentioned one. Won't be my first, though, and it probably won't feel disgusting, either, right?"

"It should feel like a normal tattoo," Gabriel said. "It might burn a little if I'm mad or upset, cause it's weird, but it should mostly be normal."

"But it won't make me feel like I'm dead?"

"Course not, pumpkin ice cream," Gabriel said. "I wouldn't do anything that might make you feel that way again."

"Then- whatever. Go ahead. I'll be fine."

He tore off my shirt and tattooed something onto the skin below my left shoulder blade on my back.

"OK, so now I'm going to pour melted candle wax all over you," Gabriel said. "It might sting a little." He conjured this big bucket and held it over my head. He snapped his fingers, and my eyes closed. He tipped the bucket over, and I got covered in melted wax. It stung. Actually, it kind of made me less uncomfortable by distracting me from the pain of the tattoo.

Gabriel pulled my jaw down so my mouth opened. "I'm going to- oops I forgot something."

"Okay…" I said. "You forgot we're not supposed to French kiss for thirty minutes after using a pagan ceremony?"

"No, that's definitely not part of the rules," Gabriel said. "I'd be very disappointed if it was. You were supposed to drink this thing that I forgot to add half the ingredients to."

So the bowl was what I was drinking. Well, I hadn't seen any bats' ears or moldy frog legs added yet, so I didn't _know_ that it would necessarily be too awful.

"I need bread mold," Gabriel muttered. He conjured a loaf of white bread and looked at it for a moment. "Uh… right." He snapped his fingers, and it got moldy in two seconds flat.

Okay, bread mold wasn't that bad. Gabriel would know if I was going to die from eating that, and barring dying, how bad could mold be? It might taste moldy. Worst case scenario.

Gabriel scraped the moldiest bits into the bowl, chanting in the same language as before. Then he cut off part of one of his fingers.

"Gabriel, what are you doing?!" I said. "You said you weren't going to cut anything off! That's your finger."

"It'll regrow," he said. "And I meant I wasn't gonna cut anything off _you_. It's just part of a finger."

"Okay," I said. "If you're sure you can grow it back. I guess."

He cut through the flesh on the detached piece of finger and pulled it loose. He washed the blood off the bones and dried them. He conjured a mortar and pestle and ground up the bone. He scattered the bone powder into the cereal bowl and stirred it together, chanting some more as he worked.

"So now you have to drink this," Gabriel told me.

"Okay, so you're _sure_ that's all the ingredients this time?" I checked.

"Yeah," he said. "It's just four things; it shouldn't be hard."

"I count at least five," I said. "My blood, your blood, tree root, bread mold, and your bone. How is that four?"

"Um." He looked confused. "Well, I put all that stuff in?"

"Is there a time limit, or can you calm down, eat a Snickers bar, and make sure you have it right before I drink all this and then we have to do it over?"

"There's no time limit," he admitted. "I just wanted to get the whole thing over with, but you're probably right." He conjured a Snickers bar and ate it slowly, thinking. And then he conjured a Milky Way bar and ate that, too. "OK, so I got all the ingredients," Gabriel said more calmly. "Here, drink it."

He poured it as carefully as possible, but since I was stuck standing exactly upright and he apparently hadn't poured beverages into people's mouths from bowls very often, obviously we spilled a little and I choked a little. So what. If we can replace Gabriel's finger, I'm 100% sure we can replace my shirt.

"This next bit would only hurt if you didn't count as pure," Gabriel explained. "And I checked, with the Death Eating tattoo off, you're fine."

He blasted lightning at me from his hands. It tickled, but it didn't hurt, which was actually kinda fun.

"And now I'm gonna suck on your finger and bite it," Gabriel said.

" _What!_ " Okay. Pagan gods are ridiculous. Were they raised by three-year-olds?

"It's part of the ceremony," Gabriel explained. "I don't know who came up with the sucking bit, but I need to drink a little of your blood for the magic to work right. And the sucking thing- idk?"

Gabriel grabbed my hand and sucked on the ring finger. He made something of a production out of it, looping his tongue around my finger and making it weird. He nipped it hard enough to bleed and sucked a little of my blood. It hurt a little, but not much.

"There's just one more thing and then it'll be over," Gabriel said. "I'm going to cut a tree into your chest."

"You're going to cut a tree into my chest? What do you mean? I'm going to have a tree in my chest?"

"Like a drawing of a tree," Gabriel explained. "It's supposed to be the world tree, since I'm pretending to be Norse."

"Great," I moped. "I'm going to be your own personal Yggdrasil. Just great. Please get it over with already."

"OK," Gabriel said. "Sorry." He carved a tree into my skin. He tried to go quickly, but it took a while and I bled a lot. Finally it was over. He slid a ring onto the finger he'd bitten, and I noticed a matching one on his finger. Whatever was holding me up let go, and I collapsed. Gabriel caught me and touched two fingers to my forehead, healing the cuts and removing the candle wax.

 _Gabriel_

Draco was lying limply in my arms. I was worried. The ceremony was a little rough, and he's not looking so good.

"Draco?" I asked uncertainly, too worried to bother with a nickname.

He didn't respond.

I checked him over for physical injuries again, but I'd already healed everything. Whatever was wrong was emotional, and not something I could just fix by snapping my fingers. I hate problems like that. I feel so helpless.

I wasn't sure if it would be safe to fly him somewhere in this condition, but I thought it might help to leave the clearing where everything had happened. I flew him back to our room and sat with him on the bed. What was I supposed to do?

Why wasn't there a rulebook for archangels married to humans? OK, so I wouldn't bother reading it, but- it would be nice to know what to do.

Maybe he just needs time to process. If I sit here with him, maybe he'll just recover eventually? Does that make sense? I have no idea. Ugh, these humans are so complex and baffling! Why can't they just work like angels?

OK, so I would have no idea how to deal with an angel who acted like this either. I guess it's more of a problem with me and not a species problem.

"G-gabriel?" Draco said suddenly. "Are you ok?" He started crying.

"Well, I guess I'm just- kinda worried about you," I said. "Please be ok."

He just cried harder. Ah, what am I supposed to do?

"I _will_ be ok," he sobbed. "I- I just- never mind." He buried his face in my shirt.

I rubbed his back and rocked him a little. He fisted my shirt.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," I said. "I hope you get better. Draco, I love you."

Draco sobbed harder, then tried to control it enough to talk. "Kiss me," he demanded.

I was a little baffled by the request. But earlier I was desperate for something to cement our relationship, so I guessed he might be feeling that way now. I scanned his thoughts to try to get some clarification on what he wanted.

 _Gabriel Gabriel Gabriel wait Gabriel is he gonna? I need Gabriel. Why do I feel like he's ten feet away even though he's already holding me I hope this works that was scary what if Voldemort comes back alright kiss me already maybe he doesn't want to Gabriel._

So, that wasn't all that helpful. But it wasn't like I didn't _want_ to kiss him, so- well, I kissed him. It was an odd kiss. A gentle affirmation of love from me, and a desperate cry for help from him. And then I got lost when he grabbed my hair and forgot about identifying emotions and analyzing the situation. Draco's a really great kisser for how inexperienced he is. Or maybe it's just that I'm head over heels for him and everything he does seems awesome. Whichever it was, it was great.

I had to stop for a moment so he could breathe, but I only managed to give him a moment before I was kissing him again. We made out for twenty minutes before Draco drifted to sleep against my shoulder.

I think I really, really like being married. But only to Draco. The time before him- well, let's not repeat that. But Draco's wonderful.

 _Draco_

When I woke up, the sun was bright in my eyes. I didn't want to open them, so I felt around with my hands to try to find out where I was. I was curled up with my head on- something. Not a pillow, but not like furniture either. One of my hands hit a face. Gabriel.

"Ah, pumpkin, you woke up," he said. He sounded better than either of us last night. You know, in the middle of the night after we got double married.

Oh, yeah, my wedding ring! That was worth opening my eyes.

I sat up and probably would've hit my head on the headboard, but Gabriel was faster. I scooted away about six inches, then looked up to make sure Gabriel wasn't interpreting this as me dumping him again. He's pretty possessive. I can't spend any time with 3-D Space more than ten feet away without permission, or he thinks I'm "cheating". OK, not really. I knew Gabriel just had some kind of serious abandonment issues, but don't we all, really?

Gabriel looked fine, so I turned my attention to my ring. Gabriel's ring? Our my ring? Man, the tenses are impossible.

It was still glowing and moving and looked if anything even awesomer than I remembered. I turned it around on my finger, slid it on and off, and then took it off to examine it. I could have played with my ring for hours, but Gabriel was sitting right there, and he's way cooler.

"You- still like it?" Gabriel asked me shyly.

"I think this is the coolest wedding ring anybody has ever had. Except maybe yours. They're like, twins. Can I see yours?" I asked.

Gabriel offered me his left hand. I slid his ring off and stuck mine on his finger for safe keeping.

It still had like thirty gems, all infused with the glowy stuff. Except it was even cooler than that sounds, because you could actually see some of the original gem color, too.

"Gabriel? What did you do with these?" I asked curiously.

"I infused them with my grace," he explained timidly. "It's what makes me an angel."

"But you have wings, too?" I said. "Right?"

"If I lost my grace, I wouldn't be able to use my wings at all. They'd still be there, just completely inaccessible."

"Okay," I said. "Gabriel- what happened last night?"

"Oh," Gabriel said. He rubbed his forehead. "What _didn't_ happen last night?"

"Wait- did we have sex?" I asked, blushing furiously.

"No, no. We didn't get that far," Gabriel said hurriedly, blushing a little himself. "We just kissed, a lot."

"I remember we were kissing," I said. "And something about a tree- you were drawing something on my chest with a knife?"

"That'd be the pagan marriage ceremony," Gabriel said. He sounded concerned. "How much do you remember?"

When he said it was the pagan marriage, I started to remember it all. I climbed into Gabriel's lap and clung to his shirt again. I was shaking. Now I remembered why I was kissing Gabriel so desperately last night. I needed to remember that he was still here, that he wasn't some pagan god who might marry me and then keep me in a room and forget about me. Gabriel's a good guy; he wouldn't do that. It's hard not to feel like we'd far apart, though, after I was- stuck like that. And all I had of Gabriel was hearing him tell me what was happening and watching him, desperately hanging on, because the ceremony was just- well, it doesn't reflect us. We're not like that, he just wanted the other pagan gods to leave me alone- no- don't think the word alone- Gabriel is right here-

I started crying. _I'm pathetic. I'm just going to be crying and hanging onto Gabriel until he gets tired of me. And then I'll have to go home and hope Dad doesn't kill me._

"Stop it!" Gabriel gasped. "Don't- don't think that! Can you really believe-? Just- just don't think like that. I'm not going to get tired of you, ever. And you're definitely not going back to that moron. I don't mind whatever it is you think is pathetic about you, and I'm never leaving you."

"I- I'm not good enough," I sobbed. "I was supposed to be a S-Slytherin like Dad wanted me to be."

"What's Slytherin?" Gabriel asked, confused.

"It's a H-House, but to Dad it was a lot more than that. He- wanted me to be- like he thought was cool. L-loyal to V-Voldemort and stuff. And- smarter and more successful and more powerful. Not dumb and pathetic like me."

"OK," Gabriel said. "If you need to talk about- whatever this is- you can. I'll listen."

"So, um, they wanted to maybe send me to Durmstrang, which is a lot- more to Dad's taste, but the school I actually went to is called Hogwarts. They divide the students into four sections called Houses, kind of based on the four founders of the school. This Hat thing picks where you go- and it put me in Slytherin- but I wasn't good enough much anyway. Why else did they feel like they needed to make me prove myself by killing Dumbledore? Because they knew I would fail, Gabriel. I couldn't do it. I didn't s-save him either, though, Snape killed him. He's a professor."

"Um, so Dumbledore's a criminal or something?"

"Nooo," I wailed. "That's the worst thing. He was our Headmaster, kind of the leader of the school or whatever, and h-he was a good guy- I mean, some stuff came out after he died, like he was a bit of a goose when he was my age- but he always gave everybody the benefit of the doubt, e-even Lord Voldemort when he was a student, and- nobody could've killed him and been okay. You just can't. He didn't deserve it- it wasn't fair, Gabriel, and I _TRIED TO KILL HIM!_ " I broke down and curled into a little ball.

"But you didn't," Gabriel said. He hugged me gently. "You didn't kill him. You've never killed anyone."

"I tr-tried. I knew Voldemort would kill me if I didn't kill Dumbledore. I don't know why he hated him so much. I couldn't do it. Dad must hate me. I wasn't good, and I wasn't successfully bad. I'm nothing, Gabriel. I can't do anything right, and I can't do anything evil. Nobody thinks I'm good at anything except I guess maybe you, but I'm so scared and confused."

"It's alright to be scared and confused," Gabriel said softly. "Everyone is at some point. This is just your point. You think you can't do anything right, but hey. At least you can't do anything bad either. That's a point in your favor."

"I disappointed everybody. Isn't that bad?"

"Not necessarily. It depends on their expectations. Sometimes you kinda have to disappoint everybody. It's not fun, but- it's just life."

"I wish I'd been evil like Dad. Then I would have known who I was." That sounded wrong, but I didn't take it back, because I couldn't see any way it wasn't true.

"Well, _I'm_ glad you're you," Gabriel said. "If you were evil I'd be miserable, cause I'd probably still love you and you'd be evil so I'd hate you too. Let's not go there."

"Does God hate me?"

"Nope. God doesn't hate people."

"But how do you _know_? What if I'm the only one He -botched badly enough to hate or s-something?"

"Hey, you're not botched," Gabriel said. "And I'm an archangel. Trust me, if God hated a human, Luci would be rubbing it into absolutely everybody's faces right now. Ugh, it'd be a nightmare."

"W-who's Luci? Is that Lucifer?"

"Lucifer's too long so I nicknamed him," Gabriel said. "I have a tendency to nickname everyone."

"Is he gonna try to kill me?" I asked.

"He's stuck in the Cage," Gabriel said. "He can't get out until- a bunch of stuff I'm supposed to have memorized happens. Not quite sure what."

"I don't know what to do next," I admitted. "We can't finish getting married until tonight, and I don't want to lie around in bed all day."

"You don't wanna lie around in bed all day?" Gabriel whined. "Why not?"

"Well, unless you have extracurricular activities planned," I said. "It's not yesterday anymore."

"OK, OK," Gabriel said. "Let's go have breakfast. Can we have a picnic? Please?" He suddenly sounded like a little kid.

I contemplated. "Okay, but only if you put your shoes and socks on and bring your coat like a good little boy, and only if it doesn't rain."

Gabriel snapped his fingers. "It won't rain!" He was suddenly wearing shoes and socks and carrying a coat. "Let's go!"

"Cool," I said. "Where are we going?"

"Candy-Stripe mountains?" Gabriel suggested. "They're really nice this time of year."

"Okay," I said. I wasn't disappointed. They were pretty cool. Mountains with vibrant, brightly-colored layers of sediment sweeping in various directions. They looked like Gabriel might have painted them with a giant paintbrush when he was two.

I looked at the mountains and then at Gabriel and noticed something. "We're still wearing our messy clothes from yesterday," I said. "Let's at least wear some clean shorts. Shirts aren't maybe so important."

"Uh-" Gabriel snapped his fingers. We were dressed in garish but clean clothes.

 **I opened the picnic basket and saw the brownies. I grabbed them and started stuffing my face. After that, I had boiled eggs, potato salad, tuna salad, fresh French bread, two full-size dill pickles, and some sandwiches. My stomach started to hurt, and I wondered if pigging out had been a bad idea.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Contains mild smut and sexual references. Some discussion of kinks.**

 **Chapter 6**

"Do you want to go to America?" Gabriel asked suddenly. "Pennsylvania or Ohio, maybe?"

I shrugged. "I thought we were having a picnic here?" I pointed out. "Why do you want to move? It's beautiful here, and there's nobody to bug us."

Gabriel fiddled with his fingers. "A bunch of angry hunters may be waiting for me in Ohio," he admitted.

I blinked. "Why? What did you do?"

"I had someone get abducted by aliens, killed two people, stole a computer, and slashed the tires on this one guy's car."

"Kay," I said. "Um, that's great. Why? Is this just pranking bad guys again?"

"Two of those people- the guy I stole the computer from and the one whose car I messed up- they aren't bad. But they're hunters, so they were asking for it."

"What, are you animal rights or something? That's cool, I guess."

"Well, I am animal rights, but- not that kind of hunters," Gabriel said. "They hunt supernatural creatures who kill normal humans. And they were trying to hunt me, so I turned them against each other a little to make it more interesting."

"So, they think you're a bad guy?" I was a little confused.

"Yeah," Gabriel said. "They think I'm a normal trickster, and for some reason they think I deserve to die." He shrugged. "It's normal for hunters to try and hunt me. It's actually a lot of fun."

"Why do you want me to come?"

"I, uh- I don't want to go by myself," Gabriel said.

"My magic might be a bit rusty," I said. "We'll have to really stick together if you want to bring me along."

"We won't even have to be in the same room they think we're in," Gabriel said. "And I'll probably fake die, so don't panic if they shove a stake through my chest."

"Ugh, why do they want to kill you? They should just do something else."

"Well, pumpkin, hunters tend to forget or ignore how evil regular humans can be. They assume any monster who's killing humans is in the wrong, and they can somehow handle ignoring serial killers and abusers and all the nastiness ordinary humans get up to. I don't get it."

"What do you want to do? It kind of sounds like you pissed them off first."

"I'd normally get them all together and let them try to kill me," Gabriel said. "You know, make fake weightlifters to beat them up a bit before I 'accidently' let one of them get too close. Pretending to die's kind of one of my things."

"I don't know," I said. "What- um, what are you mad at them for?"

"Planning to try to kill me?" Gabriel said uncertainly. "I don't know that I'm _mad_ at them, per se."

"I don't get it. You're sending in goons to beat them up, just because they're confused and want to kill you? Then they'll just think- that you were really a bad guy or something. Couldn't we just go talk to them and explain things?"

"Huh," Gabriel said. "I never thought of that. We could. It would be a great plot twist! Let's try it!"

"Whoa, okay, slow down. You sound really excited, but I don't actually know what you're planning," I said. "If there's two of us, we have to figure out what we're doing so we can work as a team."

"Can't we just wing it? OK, yeah, be the wise boring grownup. Plan, um. I don't have much experience with plans."

"Gabriel, are you gonna calm down by yourself, or do I have to help you?" I asked. "I don't need a full itinerary, just some idea what I'm getting into."

"So, it's probably best if we keep the whole archangel thing under wraps," Gabriel started. "And they hunt a different kind of witch from you British weirdos, but you probably don't wanna advertise yourself as magic anyway. Um, beyond that… Do you wanna make a plan?"

"OK, so we go talk to them. Maybe they decide to kill us. If so, we need to either have a plan or step out and make one. One problem is, you can fake die, but I can't so easily. I've never practiced that. Also, we need an explanation for me. If we bring the wedding rings, they might figure out we're mates, or they might just be confused. Also, I don't know if the grace would give you away."

"They'll think it's just a glowy rock," Gabriel said. "And we can make the mate thing pretty obvious. Tricksters mate, so it won't be too weird, and a trickster could easily mate a human. They probably won't try to kill you if they don't find out you're a wizard; they tend to have a pretty high- whatever it is when you think life's important. Human life, not anything else."

"So, we march in, and you introduce me as your new husband or whatever, and we just talk it out? Will they try to shoot us? I heard Muggles have metal wands that can kill people."

"Guns. Those are called guns," Gabriel said. "If they shoot, duck and hide behind something. Or put your hands up in that surrender gesture thing. They might not bring guns, cause they know guns are useless against me. But hunters do drag a bunch of weapons around everywhere. So, you good? Or is there anything else you're worried about?"

"Well, I guess the worst they could do is kill me, and you could just bring me back. But, Gabriel- I'm worried that that would be really hard on you. I'm not sure you're ready to deal with me potentially dying. So I'm not sure what to do about that."

Gabriel winced. "Not ready to handle that," he admitted. "And- you might die. Maybe there's a spell or something…"

"No. Sorry, Gabriel, I think _I'm_ not ready for that again. I had enough spells. I dunno, what do you think? Maybe they won't try to kill me. If they think I'm human, would they just try to rescue me or something?"

"They'll probably assume you're my helpless captive and think they need to play the heroes and kidnap you," Gabriel said. "Look, if you're about to die, I'll reveal as Loki and use my pagan god power goop to whisk us to safety. Worse case scenario, they drop you off at a hospital for psychiatric whatever after fake killing me."

"That could be fun," I said. "OK. Are we ready to try this?"

"Yep," he said. He snapped his fingers, and we appeared in a hotel room.

"I can't _believe_ you took my laptop," Sam said.

"You know what? I've had enough of this. Hell, I don't even know what you're talking about. All I want to know is, _what_ made you think you had the right to slash my car's tires. I mean, my Impala is my-" Sam cut Dean off.

"Stop with the stupid car, Dean! You know I _need_ that laptop for research, so give it back!"

"I DID NOT TAKE your stupid laptop!" Dean exploded. He balled his hand into a fist and almost hit Sam before thinking better of it. "Give it up, Sammy," he said. "It's not worth it. Just admit you slashed my tires and stop blaming me for your laptop. I wouldn't hurt it, Sammy, and you know that; I know how important that is to you for- um, research stuff or _whatever_."

"Then who took it? Just own up to it already. I am _so sick_ of your crap!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, if you think I'm crap, why don't you just leave. I'm sick of you too," said Dean.

I was hiding behind Gabriel at this point. Dean looked like he was about to explode in random directions. Also, he was _so_ loud. I was starting to get a headache.

"Fine, maybe I will," Sam snapped. He turned toward the door and froze.

"Hello!" Gabriel said cheerfully. "Just popped by for a visit!"

Sam whipped a gun out of his belt and aimed it at Gabriel. "You're that janitor guy," he said.

"If you think he's a janitor, why are you pointing a gun at him?" I asked. Dean had a bead on us too. I hoped I could make them see sense before they killed anybody.

Sam addressed Gabriel. "How did you just appear like that?" he said. "What are you?"

"How do you know he appeared?" I argued. "You were arguing for like a full minute after we got here, however we got here."

"The doors and windows are closed and locked," Sam answered immediately. It sounded like it was force of habit. "They haven't been forced and the salt lines aren't disturbed. And you would've made noise coming in."

"So picking a lock is a crime?" I fussed, for their benefit. "We're just here from the laptop repair company. We handle special cases. Only the best, right, Gabe?"

"Look, he's a janitor," Sam said, pointing at Gabriel.

"Takes a lot of part-time jobs to live the way we want to," I said. I was honestly just curious how long I could string this along.

"Yeah, you're not humans," Dean snarked. He flipped the flask in his hand, and we were both covered in water.

"Do I look like a demon?" Gabriel groused.

"Demons can look like flipping anything," said Dean. "How do you know so much? You Hunters or something?"

"Do you really class everybody who knows what holy water is as either a hunter or a demon?" Gabriel asked. "I hadn't realised you were quite that thick."

"No, I don't," said Dean. "But you obviously know more than you should, so I'm really just trying to narrow down possibilities here."

"Ever heard of a trickster?" Gabriel asked. "Didn't think so, Deano. You wouldn't know a trick if it bit you on the ass."

I giggled. "Don't mind Gabriel, he thinks he's funny," I said. "I don't know why he messed with your stuff, but it sounds like you might have had it coming."

"You're the one who stole my laptop?" Sam asked angrily. "I needed that!"

"For what?" I said. "We probably all need to hear this, and it's better if you get it off your chest than just ignoring it or taking it out on Dean."

Dean just looked confused. "So you're some kind of monster?" he asked Gabriel.

"Ah, hunters," Gabriel said sarcastically. "You're so quick on the uptake."

 _Watch this_ , I told Gabriel.

"I guess we'd better worry about the tall one," I said loudly. "He seems to be the smarter of the two."

Sam looked suspicious and kind of awkward. "Start talking," he said. "Why'd you come here?"

"I just love Ohio this time of year," Gabriel said. "Which season is it?"

I laughed. "Look, you're no more innocent than we are. I admit this is your hotel room, and I'm not quite sure what my buddy here did to you and whether you completely deserved it, but it seems like you're making a truckload of stupid assumptions today, so I really suggest you slow down."

"All right," Sam said. "So…" he looked at me.

"So- Gabriel apparently took your laptop and messed with the Chihuahua's car. Why was that, now, Gabriel?" I asked.

"Uh, I felt like it," Gabriel said helpfully.

"Okay, so you felt like it. Sam, what do you think would be fair? Gabriel stole your laptop."

Sam crossed his arms. "I want my laptop and an explanation."

"Okay. How about you, Dean? Where are you at?"

"I want my Baby back, and I want you to apologize. A lot," said Dean childishly.

"Hold on, I'm confused," I said. "Gabriel didn't mention a kid. Gabriel, did you take this man's offspring?"

"No, he's just dating his car."

"Rright," I said. "Okay. Dating the car. A bit unusual, but I won't judge. How about we get you two some tickets to a car wash? Does that sound about right? Maybe they'll let you play with the water hose."

Sam laughed. "You so deserve that," he told Dean.

"Well, Gabriel, what do you think?" I asked, not bothering to wait for Dean's response. He could take three hours to process this conversation later. "Car wash, tires, laptop, and an explanation sound fair to you?"

"Ugh, yeah, way too fair," Gabriel said. "Let's not."

I made a fussy face. "OK, well, if you really want to have to eat fifty full-size dill pickles and videotape it, I guess I can throw that in too."

"You hafta make Dean do it too," Gabriel said.

"Uht dut dut," I complained. "That's too fair, Gabriel. If I make Dean do it too, then I'll have to come up with something worse for you to do."

"As long as Dean does that too," Gabriel said. "And then it'll just get worse and worse until your imagination stops being enough to make this work! It'll be great fun?"

I pretended to think. "I wonder if Gabriel might not be sharing everything that's bothering him," I said. "Maybe it's time for that explanation Sam asked you for. I'd like to hear it too." _Don't freak out. We're picking on them, right? Do NOT decide I don't like you_.

"Ah," Gabriel began grandly. "So, if your puny mortal minds can comprehend it-"

Dean made a noise.

"Is there a problem, mortal puppy?" Gabriel asked.

"Good question," I said. "Dean, do you have anything to share?"

"I am not a mortal puppy," Dean complained. "You have no respect. I could kill you."

"Wanna try?" Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows.

"Hey, I thought you only wiggled your eyebrows at me!" I complained. "Dean's not even cute."

"Point taken," Gabriel said. "But if I wiggle my eyebrows at you, then we'll have to go back home…" he trailed off suggestively. "Not that I would mind."

"You two are married?" Sam guessed, glancing at our hands.

I laid my head on Gabriel's shoulder. "Good guess. So please don't kill my hubby."

Gabriel twirled me around and kissed me. I had to hang on to Gabriel's sleeves to avoid falling on my butt, but not like I cared. I was a little worried about how Sam and Dean were going to react, though. And whether this was appropriate behavior in public.

"OK," Sam said. "That's- ew."

Dean looked impressed.

"Um, Dean, we should go," Sam said. "I think they want a little space."

"It's our hotel room," said Dean. "They can pay for their own room. They still haven't given our stuff back."

Gabriel snapped his fingers and a laptop appeared on the desk. There were two tickets beside it. Sam snatched his precious laptop up and hurried out of the room to escape our embarrassing kiss.

"Need anything else, or shall we leave you to your room?" I asked Dean.

"Don't ever touch my car again," said Dean.

I smiled sweetly. "We'll see," I said. "Come on, Gabriel, let's go."

He didn't even snap, we just vanished.

 _Gabriel_

I flew back home and landed on the second story balcony.

"Well, how'd I do?" Draco asked.

"Sexy," I breathed, kissing him again.

Draco smirked and kissed me back. Then he slapped me lightly across the face.

"Not the kiss, you goose," he said. "The Hunter stuff."

"That's what I was talking about," I said. "I mean, the kiss too."

"Didn't know you had a negotiation kink," Draco teased. "Hey, have you ever traded candy from a bulk candy store? Might be your cup of tea."

"Stop teasing," I whined, trying to get him to kiss me again.

"Cool," said Draco. He knocked me over onto the floor and started kissing me.

"Who needs shirts?" he said. "Nobody can see us, right?"

I yanked his shirt off. I heard fabric rip, but I can always make a new one. If Draco lets us do this more often, I'm going to be tearing a lot of his clothes.

Draco fumbled with my buttons but then gave up and yanked the shirt open. Buttons flew everywhere.

"Well, I'm sorry, Gabriel," he said, pulling off the sleeves. "I hope you didn't like that shirt too much."

I gasped desperately and pulled his head down to kiss him again.

 _Draco_

An hour later, the glow had started to wear off enough that I noticed the balcony wasn't actually a terribly comfortable bed.

"Gabriel?" I slurred.

"Yeah, pumpkin?" he asked sleepily.

"I think we should maybe move to the bed."

"But it's like ten feet away," Gabriel whined. But he snapped us there anyway.

I sighed happily and fell asleep with my head on Gabriel's chest.

When I woke up, I was curled up on Gabriel's chest.

"Morning, kiddo," he said cheerfully. "Well, afternoon."

"I love you, Gabriel," I said. "Wait, did we miss the ceremony thing? At midnight?"

"Well it doesn't matter which midnight," Gabriel said. "You could sleep for a week, though I might protest."

"But I wanted to marry you as soon as possible," I fussed. "We're already having sex. We should finish getting married however many times pretty soon, or it's kind of pointless."

"We can do it tonight," Gabriel said. "I want you to be _mine_ in every sense I can swing. OK, maybe not every sense. That would get weird."

"You don't _own_ me," I squeaked, trying to sound like Harley and failing. "Doooon't tell me what to dooo, and don't tell me what to say, and please when I go out with you, drat I forget."

"I don't think the lyric was drat I forget," Gabriel said. "I seem to remember-" his voice sounded even worse than mine squeaking in that octave. "Juust let me beee myseeelf."

"'Cause I'm young, and I love to bee yooooung, and I'm three, and I love to be three-" I got it wrong on purpose.

"Not quite that young," Gabriel said wryly.

"Harley is," I complained.

"OK, so maybe it's more like and III'm threeee and I loove to be three mooonths."

"Aw," I sighed reflexively. "Gabe, dontcha think Harley would be so cute at 3 months? Can we have a baby or something? After our syrupmoon or whatever."

"Kids are fun," Gabriel agreed. "Especially deaged kids…"

"Gabriel, are you plotting again?" I said lightheartedly. "Cause it sure sounds like you have some victims already picked out…"

"I want a four year old with that floppy hair," Gabriel mused.

"Won't his brother with the two-year-old attitude have something to say about that?"

"Not if he has a two year old mouth at the time," Gabriel said. "And shrinking Dean farther than Sam has its upsides too."

"We can feed them pancakes," I squealed. "They'll be so cute!"

"Oo," Gabriel said. "This'll hold off the apocalypse! Luci will get so mad! OK, we hafta do it."

"Are we going to need backup if you're planning to get Lucifer mad at us?" I asked. "That sounds a little risky."

"Ah, maybe," Gabriel said. "Luci has got more brute strength than me, even if I typically win fights. I could try talking to Mikey and Raphy I suppose."

"That would be Michael and Raphael? Michael is an archangel, too, right?"

"Yep," Gabriel said. "Raphael is as well. There're four archangels, or five if you wanna count that asshole Metatron."

"An angel is an asshole?" I asked incredulously. "How did that happen? And who's the fourth? Are you counting Lucifer?"

"Yeah, and Luci's an asshole too. It's not actually all that unusual for angels."

"But you said you thought you were fallen, and you're not a bad guy," I argued, watching for Gabriel's reaction. _Does he think he's an asshole? Oh, no, he can hear that. Sorry, Gabe. I'm just really worried about you._

"The whole fallen thing is confusing," Gabriel complained. "The Bible made it sound so simple, like, you're fallen or you're not, but then you actually try to figure out even what it means and then the whole thing falls apart. It's a nightmare."

"Well, I love you, and I only care whether you're an actual good guy or bad guy and why, not whether your passport has a coffee stain on it and you can't get back over the border."

"I could go back to Heaven," Gabriel mumbled. "It's not like they wouldn't let me. Raphael might be a brat about it, and Zachariah would be sure to yell at me, but Michael's the only one who technically matters."

"Okay, first- I didn't mean that like it apparently came out. Whatever you think makes you fallen is what I meant doesn't matter. Second, I thought God was in charge of Heaven or something, right? Doesn't He get a vote?"

"God left Heaven," Gabriel said miserably. "That's why I left. So now Michael's in charge up there. God's still active and everything, but He doesn't say anything about anything."

"I'm sorry," I said. "It must be really tough. It seems like you and God kinda connected, probably more than I did with my dad, but I still remember thinking he was the best person in the whole world and wanting to be like him. Then- things just went south. And it was- really, really tough, Gabriel." I took deep breaths and tried not to start crying, but I couldn't stop remembering Dad once I started, so crying was kind of inevitable.

Gabriel put his arm around me. "Hey, kiddo, it's ok."

"I know," I sobbed. "I just- I don't exactly miss Dad- well, maybe I do, but I really miss thinking he was cool. I actually used to like Dad better than Mom, because I didn't see anything that was true about him, just what I thought I knew about him. Even though Mom loved me and Dad- I d-don't think he did, G-Gabriel." I broke down and couldn't say anything more for crying.

"I'm sorry," Gabriel said. "I know my family fought a lot, but I never doubted my Father's love. Or most of my siblings' love."

I inhaled Gabriel's shirt in an attempt to calm down. It worked, but only a little bit. I'd needed my Dad to love me for my whole life, and I'd only known Gabriel for a few beautiful days. It seemed more like a week, but that still wasn't long.

"Do you think God would love me?" I asked.

"I thought we already went over this," Gabriel said, confused. "My Dad loves everybody. Literally. Course He loves you."

"Can I meet Him?" I asked.

"I'd introduce you, but I can't find Him," Gabriel said, a touch of bitterness in his voice. "And believe me, I looked."

"But you're still sure He hears everybody's prayers?" I asked.

"Yes," Gabriel said confidently. "He will hear you if you pray. It's actually pretty impossible to not hear prayers."

"Is that what happened in the hot tub? I was praying to you?"

"Yeah," he said. "That's what praying is."

"It's what? Just talking and hoping the person will listen? Isn't praying just supposed to be talking to God? How does it work on angels? Or is it just archangels and God? Do you hear people who are trying to talk to God or Michael or just you? Does God hear me talking to you? Does he really know everything?" I realized that was probably too many questions too fast.

"Uh…" Gabriel said. "Which question do you want me to answer?"

"Is praying specific? Like, do you only hear people who are trying to talk to _you_?"

"Mostly," Gabriel said. "Think about it like email. You can send it to more than one person or forward it to someone else, but if not just one person gets it. That's actually how I know God is still around. He's rerouted some prayers to me over the years when He wanted me to do various things."

I looked at my shoes. "How do you know He still loves you if all He ever sends you is other people's emails?"

"Faith, I guess," he said. "It's all I've got to hold onto."

"Maybe if we both bug God a lot, He'll come back," I suggested.

Gabriel laughed weakly. "I dunno if that'll work."

"Does it matter if it works? He's not gonna forget or anything."

"That's true," Gabriel said.

"Yeah," I said. "Well, uh, what do you want to do? I'm getting kinda hungry again. It's been a while since breakfast. But we could also bug God, plan our honeymoon, look up dog breeds, plot ways to annoy the Winchesters, write back to m-my- uh, never mind, maybe not, or we could just, like kiss-"

"That's a long list," Gabriel said. "I'm thinking we could multitask, maybe try three at once?"

I tucked myself under Gabriel's arm. "Sounds good," I said. "Which three things?"

"I was thinking dinner, honeymoon plans and kissing," Gabriel said. "Sound ok, pumpkin stir-fry?"

"Everything sounds great," I said. "Except writing to, uh, You-know-who. I hope you're not planning to stir-fry me."

"I dunno," Gabriel teased, studying me. "You into that kind of thing?"

At this point, I was sure he was not planning to cook me in a wok with vegetables. I was also sure that if I betrayed my ignorance, I would ruin the joke. So instead I quirked an eyebrow.

"Kinky," Gabriel said, impressed.

"I think I missed the punch line," I said. "Is it something to do with soy sauce?"

Gabriel started giggling and kissed me.

I had an advantage over your average person who got kissed. Gabriel could hear me thinking, which didn't involve my mouth. Unfortunately getting a response would be a little trickier.

 _So, was I right? Was it about soy sauce?_

"You're too innocent," Gabriel mumbled, just barely not connecting our mouths for half a second to speak. "And my mind is permanently in the gutter."

 _So, you can either describe the leaves and centipedes, or you can laugh at me while talking over my head. Or I can drop the topic._

"Fun to laugh at you," Gabriel said. "But kissing's more important."

Okay. So, no need to worry about being cooked with vegetables, anyway. I had no idea what he meant by saying I was kinky. It sounded like he'd thought about every possible relation any topic could have with sex, so I didn't really see what I had to add, but at long as I was sure he really liked me, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

"Innocence is so damn hot on you," Gabriel complained. "It's not fair."

I pulled away like two inches and watched him fuss. "It's not fair that you find me attractive? Because we totally weren't _married and in the middle of kissing_ or anything."

"Hey," he complained. "You can't just stop kissing me."

"Oh, yeah? I wasn't aware of that. If I agree to start kissing you again, do I get to fix your wings up? Maybe I can use this as a bargaining chip." I giggled and kissed Gabriel again so he'd know I wasn't being serious. _You can have a minute to think about it, obviously._

" _You really_ want _to help with them?"_ Gabriel's incredulous voice asked in my head.

 _Wait, you can talk in my head! I didn't know that. This is awesome. We can talk over everybody's heads and they won't hear a word! Wait, sorry. Yes, of course I want to help with your wings. They're beautiful, but more than that, I love you, and it makes me really sad to know how bad you feel about them. I just want to help._

" _Maybe,_ " Gabriel thought cautiously. " _I want the closeness that you helping with my wings would give me, but-"_ Gabriel didn't finish the thought. " _Let's- let's go have breakfast._ "

 _Breakfast,_ I said. _Okay. Doesn't that mean you have to get out of my mouth so the food can go in?_

We broke apart, giggling.

"You can talk in my head," I said, still excited. "This is great."

"Genius, pumpkin butter," Gabriel deadpanned. "You noticed the voice in your head. Very observant."

"Okay, fine, what's for dinnerfast?"

Gabriel flushed. "Dinner, breakfast, same thing," he grumbled.

"Great!" I said, ignoring him freaking out. "Breakfast for dinner is the best! Did you know, the whole time I was at school, there were only ever breakfast foods available at dinnertime twice a year? Let's have waffles and fruit salad. And whipped cream."

"Weird school," Gabriel said. "Although I guess, in Heaven, if we wanted food we had to go on a trip to this special place where they had oatmeal. We weren't supposed to need to eat. I mean, once we were big enough to visit Earth there was food everywhere, but until then-" he shrugged.

"You were too little to go to Earth? That must have been forever ago," I said. "It's funny that they wouldn't let baby angels go to Earth. Baby humans spend their whole lives here, and nobody blinks."

"Baby humans don't accidentally burn people's eyes out and knock mountains over."

"True. Waffles and fruit salad?"

"Waffles, fruit salad, and grilled pineapple chunks coated in sugar," Gabriel agreed. "Where do you want to eat? I'm thinking in an active volcano."

It sounded dangerous and painfully warm, but I supposed Gabriel wouldn't suggest something that was a bad idea. Unless he thought there was a reason, but- not going there. There was no reason to eat inside a volcano, so it must be at least safe.

"I assume you're aware of my temperature restrictions? And prepared to handle lava being everywhere?" I said.

"Don't worry," Gabriel said cheerfully. "Lava's pretty cool, and we'll have a bubble."

He snapped us to the location. I was initially pretty confused. I didn't realize we were going to be completely surrounded by lava, including on top of us. Luckily I'm not claustrophobic at all; I'm more the type to be afraid of heights.

We were inside a round glass- well, maybe not glass, since it wasn't getting hot or melting, but something like- bubble, which was clear, so all around us was orange and red molten rock inside the volcano. But we weren't getting too hot or anything. Gabriel was right; it was actually pretty cool. Kind of clashed with the breakfast theme, though.

"Like it?" Gabriel asked. He was holding an entire pineapple that had been grilled and sugar coated.

"Well, it _seems_ awesome," I said, grinning. "It just seems like- you might be _sugar-coating_ things a little bit." I stared pointedly at the pineapple.

"A little bit?" Gabriel asked. He snapped, and I was suddenly coated in powdered sugar. "Oh, you're a little bit sugar coated now."

"I'm starting to wonder if you have ulterior motives for putting us in a sphere, where we're inevitably pulled towards the middle by gravity, and then coating me in your favorite food," I said.

"That's not my favorite food," Gabriel protested.

I frowned. "I never see you eating anything _but_ sugar. If you have another favorite food, it must be something you can't make easily or maybe that you're allergic to."

"Look, kiddo," Gabriel said seriously. "My favorite food is _granulated_ sugar. Not powdered, _granulated_. There's a world of difference."

"So you're a crack sugar baby," I joked.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, and I was suddenly covered in a second layer of sugar, granulated this time. He threw a syrup-coated waffle at me.

"Oh, so now we're regressing to food-fights?" I said. "Use your gummy worms, buddy."

"Happy to oblige," he said, manifesting a massive bag of gummy worms and emptying it over both our heads.

I took a bite of the waffle and threw it back at Gabriel. "Catch," I said, just as it hit him in the face. "Ooh, too late."

He threw a handful of gummy worms at me. His aim was bad, and they mostly hit the wall next to me or didn't get far enough to hit anything.

"Must suck to have aim that bad," I said, chomping on a gummy worm.

"Didn't seem to mind when I sucked _you_ last night," Gabriel said, grinning cheekily.

"I thought that was this morning," I said. "I guess it's confusing when we hop around the globe and sleep during the day and get married in the middle of the night. Maybe you should get a watch."

"I _had_ a watch," Gabriel said. "But it spun backwards way too fast, and it broke when I got in a fistfight with Odin. Anyway, time is relative."

"Well, if you're not gonna eat the waffle, can I have it?" I asked. "You can make your own food. It's not entirely fair."

Gabriel manifested a brightly coloured stuffed bear. "Sharing is caring," he announced. "Sunshine Bear here says so."

"Okay," I said. "That's relevant."

"It is," Gabriel insisted. "We have to share the waffle, even though I could make a hundred more with no effort at all!"

"Right," I said. "Well, it's next to you right now, so if you want us to share it, either take a bite or hand it over."

Gabriel tore off a piece and held it up to my mouth.

I opened my mouth to take the waffle, but I also pretended to bite Gabriel's finger.

"Oops," I said, mouth full of syrup. Gabriel put waaaay too much syrup on that waffle.

Gabriel tried to flick the extra syrup off his fingers and was disconcerted when it didn't work. Then he tried to lick it off and managed to drip syrup down his chin.

"Aw, Gabriel, don't worry about it," I said sweetly. "It's just a little syrup. Here." I licked it off his face.

His eyes dilated, and he whined a little when I pulled away.

I pulled Gabriel closer and kissed him.

 _Hey, what's wrong? I'm not going anywhere._

He kissed back with a desperate ferocity that surprised me.

 _Gabriel, hey, calm down. I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Are you okay?_

" _Just hold me,_ " he pleaded softly.

I sat down and cradled Gabriel in my lap.

"You need me, I got you," I said. "I hope you can tell me what's wrong or at least how I can help, but even if not, I'm here for you. Always, Gabriel."

"I d-don't even know what's wrong," Gabriel sobbed. "It's stupid. I shouldn't b-be crying."

"Best guess? It's probably not stupid," I said. "You've been through a lot. We both have, for how old we are, but you're a lot older than me and you've been through a lot more tough stuff. It's okay if you don't know what's wrong. It might go away by itself as we grow closer, or we might start to figure out some of what's wrong. Either way, we'll be okay. I love you, Gabriel."

"L-love you too," Gabriel said, hiding his face in my shoulder. "J-just don't leave."

"Never," I said, rocking Gabriel gently and trying to think of anything that might help. A memory flirted into my thoughts- " _Sugar makes everything better…_ "

I picked up some gummy worms and offered them to Gabriel.

"Best I can do, since wizards can't make anything out of nothing," I said. Then I had another idea. "Unless you want to lick sugar off me. I don't mind."

Gabriel took a gummy worm and sucked on it unenthusiastically. "Only works on kids," he grumbled. And then he turned into a kid. He wasn't two or three like last time, but still a kid and not a teenager. I laid back and let him curl up next to me.

"It's okay, Gabriel," I murmured. "We'll figure everything out. If you need to sleep, sleep. You want to talk, we can talk. As long as this glass doesn't melt, nothing's stopping us from staying here forever if here is where you feel safe. You can always make more gummy worms if we run out."


	7. Chapter 7

**Pranks, bad dreams, lots of panicking. Nothing scary. Your teeth may or may not rot, Gabriel's and Draco's definitely will from all that candy.**

 **I would like to thank everybody who reviewed this story. VegasGranny always writes interesting and insightful reviews! :D (The reason this story seems detached from reality probably has something to do with the fact that thewindinthemeadow and I like to write it late at night past my bedtime, plus she wants to be an actress so of course she's crazy.)**

 **Chapter 7**

 _Draco_

Little Gabriel stared up at me with wide golden eyes. "You'd really stay here with me forever?"

"Well, yeah. What else could we need? I can live without showers; you can just snap your fingers and I'll be clean. You can make all the food and water we need, and I'll never be bored if we're together. Now, _you_ might get bored, but if you wanted to stay here, it's okay with me."

"Humans can be really cool," Gabriel said in an awed tone. "We're staying here. Until I get bored. And given my average attention span, um…"

"I get it," I said. "You'll get bored really fast, so it won't be long at all. But- I mean, we _could_ rule the world from inside a volcano, probably. If you don't want to be bored, we can think of stuff to do."

"Can we play my Candyland/Chutes and Ladders crossover game?" Gabriel asked. "I made this alternate version where you get real candy every time you move."

"Sure," I said. "We might need a flat spot on the floor, but you know what to do."

"The board can float," Gabriel said confidently, manifesting a floating magical candyland game. "You go first. You're the yellow one."

I rolled a die and got three. A ladder let me skip five spaces ahead. I got a peppermint hard candy from the space I'd first landed on, but it disappeared in my mouth once I landed on my final space, replaced with a lemon drop. "Hey," I complained when the flavors clashed. "You made it do that on purpose," I accused.

Gabriel giggled. "It's more fun that way." He rolled his die and got five. A Chute threw him back two spaces. "Aw," he said. "The flavors went together." He went up the ladder five spaces and dropped his gamepiece next to mine. His smile came back. "They both clash with lemon!"

I rolled again and moved forward 2 spaces. I added a caramel cream to my lemon drop. I was starting to realize that a new candy after every move was going to be a lot of sugar and eventually a lot of stuff in my mouth. Maybe I should save some of my earnings or give them to Gabriel, who was apparently swallowing candies whole to make room for new ones.

Gabriel moved one space forward. "Oo," he said. "Squash candy clashes with everything!"

" _Squash_ candy?" I asked. I didn't want to know what he did to squash to make it count as candy. To Gabriel, no less. There probably wasn't any squash left.

I rolled my die twice and hopped ten spaces forward. Just to see what would happen. I got an Atomic Fireball for my efforts. Gabriel laughed at the faces I made.

He rolled a four. "Oo, Oo, Oo," he squeaked. "I'm gonna get a maraschino cherry!" He shoved his piece forward as quickly as possible.

Apparently cherries are pretty important, because the following move, when he didn't get a maraschino cherry, he kind of covered everything except the board in cherries. Including me. And himself. Gabriel looked ridiculous, or he would have if I could have seen any of him.

I removed the cherries from Gabriel's eyes so I could see them.

"There you are," I said. "Hello, Gabriel."

He was too busy eating ten cherries at once to respond.

"Okay," I said, just a little annoyed. I kicked the board over.

Gabriel gave this betrayed look to the board. "Hey, you can't fall over," he argued.

"Gabriel, it's not the board's fault," I said. "Blame me." Then I realized that would probably precipitate another meltdown, so I pulled Gabriel into my lap.

"Draco, you hafta protect me from the game board," he sniffled. "It's mean."

I did not expect that. "Hey, look at me. I still remember where our pieces went. It's not a problem. We can for sure keep playing if that's what makes you happy."

"Keep playing!" he squeaked and kissed my cheek.

"Okay," I said. I turned the board back over and set up the pieces where they were.

"Here, you take another turn. I already had two in a row before."

Gabriel rolled and got another maraschino cherry. He looked quite pleased, despite having been sent backwards.

I kept my arm around Gabriel just to be safe while I rolled my die. I landed on a blue square. Blue raspberry, I thought. But no. It was some kind of weird fruit that I almost recognized, like lychee or acai or something.

"You really put a lot of thought into this," I said. "You did a great job making this game, Gabriel."

Gabriel looked so pleased he almost glowed. "Thanks," he muttered.

Okay. Remember, Draco, little things are hugely important. No knocking over game boards, and make sure Gabriel knows you still think he's awesome, still love him, and aren't going anywhere without him. Ever.

Since this game was obviously important to Gabriel, I behaved a little better. I didn't get bored, but it was because I was watching Gabriel, not because I'm enough of a kid to want to play CandyLand with candy.

When the game was over, I had a better idea.

"Hey, Gabriel, if you want to play again, we can, but I have another idea that might be pretty cool." I watched his response.

"Does it have candy or sugar spurting everywhere?" he inquired hopefully.

"Yup, that's part of it. Gabriel- I assume you know about chess. Did Loki tell you anything about something called wizards' chess?"

"Is that the game where you order the pieces around?" Gabriel asked.

"Yeah. Well, usually in wizards' chess, they're made of stone, you order them around, and when a piece gets taken, instead of being captured, it gets smashed by the other piece. My idea was, we could have the pieces be full of candy, so that when they get smashed, instead of shattering into stone, candy goes flying everywhere. Like a piñata."

Gabriel grinned. "As long as candy goes everywhere, I'm in."

We wouldn't have any pawns left after the first three minutes, but at least there would be some strategy to keep my interest and lots of candy for Gabriel.

I was right. It actually only took 1 minute and 43 seconds for Gabriel's pieces to finish smashing all the pawns, since he didn't care if his own pieces smashed each other or my pieces.

I won easily. Gabriel was too busy smashing random chess pieces to actually try to win, so I was easily able to get rid of all his important pieces, and he was happy to get rid of all of both of our unimportant pieces for me. Which left me with all the big guns.

"OK, let's do it again, with chocolate pieces this time. And then whenever a piece dies I get to eat it," Gabriel suggested.

"OK," I said amiably. I don't mind winning chess games. "Only, I get to eat a few pieces. You get 80% of them."

Gabriel pouted. "But I want 85% of the pieces," he bargained.

"Forget I said that, then," I said. "You know what? Make me a big chocolate bunny to eat, and you can eat ALL the chess pieces. And you can have your own bunny to work on, too, if you want to."

Gabriel made two life size chocolate bunnies in incredible detail.

I was almost hesitant to break mine, since it looked so much like a real bunny, but I knew if I didn't eat it, I don't know, actually. Something bad could have happened. Gabriel could have felt bad about making a bunny that wouldn't be edible. Or he might have tried to bring the bunny to life or something crazy like that.

So, since I always started with the ears, I tried to break off an ear. No luck. The bunny was- get this- solid. Chocolate. Solid. So I had to resort to licking a life-sized chocolate bunny. I looked _ridiculous_. But what's a guy to do.

Gabriel laughed at me, but he couldn't exactly talk. He had chocolate all over his face from taking huge bites out of his bunny's tail.

Gabriel set up the chess board with chocolate pieces, and I moved my piece. I was white chocolate; Gabriel was striped milk and dark chocolate. I'm sure he was planning on eating most of both sets, though, so it wouldn't have mattered.

I won again, but Gabriel had chocolate completely covering his head and the front of his shirt.

"How do you get so messy?" I said. "Do you know you're adorably cute covered in chocolate?"

Gabriel looked pleased. "I just do stuff- enthusiastically," he said. "S'more fun that way. Pun intended."

"Oooo, s'mores! Gabriel, we're in a live volcano! We _have_ to do smores," I insisted. "That is an absolute necessity. You don't go inside a volcano to _not_ do s'mores."

"I'll let the wall make it hot then," Gabriel said. "Just not very hot. Humans have a shockingly small range of acceptable temperatures."

"Maybe just in one spot," I suggested. "I'm pretty sure you can't roast marshmallows at a temperature low enough to be safe for humans."

"I'll do the middle of the floor," Gabriel said excitedly. "And then it'll be like a fire pit."

"M-meh," I said. "Sorry. Only if you want me sitting on your shoulders the whole time. How about letting in a trickle of lava through a tiny hole in one wall? Make it cool by the time it hits the bottom of the floor."

Gabriel thought about that. "I guess it'll work," he said. "But only if we use lava colored marshmallows."

I shrugged. "I don't get why, but sure. As long as I can taste marshmallow, chocolate, and graham cracker, I'm good."

Gabriel snapped up sky blue chocolate, orangy red marshmallows, and rainbow spotted graham crackers. "You said color doesn't matter, right?"

"Yup," I said. I picked up a square of sky-blue chocolate just to double check that it did in fact taste like chocolate and not like blue dye and wax. It was chocolate, with a hint of blueberry.

"We're good," I said. "It's lava time."

Gabriel gently tapped the glassy bubble with one finger. There was no visible change, but the temperature increased.

I held my hand close to the wall and sprang back. "Ouch," I yelped. "Ouch ouch ouch. Well, it's hot enough. Gabriel, help." My hand was pink and starting to blister.

Gabriel caught my hand and kissed the worst burnt part. The pain vanished, and my hand went back to normal.

I took a deep breath. "Thanks, Gabriel," I said. "Do we have skewers or marshmallow-roasting sticks or whatever you call them?"

"Sure," Gabriel said. He snapped up a bunch of sticks and skewers. Like, fifty of them.

I took one and put marshmallows on all six ends, hoping they couldn't _all_ get flambé-ed.

"Hey, Gabriel, do we have enough oxygen in here if something catches fire?" I checked.

"I assume so," Gabriel said uncertainly. "I mean, you've been breathing in here for two hours or so. Is it low on oxygen?"

"I don't know," I said. "I just know fire uses up oxygen pretty fast. Faster than breathing, I think. As long as we have oxygen incoming, we're okay, but not too much or we'll get flames going out of control." I sighed. "I'm sorry it's so complicated."

Gabriel waved his hand. "I think that should be good. I increased the oxygen content in the air- but we need a plant."

"Algae," I said. "I think like 90% of the world's oxygen comes from algae."

"So, you want a pond?" Gabriel said uncertainly. He conjured a pond- in the ceiling. I blinked.

"It works," I said. "Let's get roasting. I'll tell you if I run out of oxygen, but if I can't tell you, you'll know if my lips and nail beds turn blue or I faint that something's wrong."

"OK," Gabriel said. "So unless you eat blueberries I'll know if you start running out of oxygen."

"Basically, yeah," I said. I started slowly moving my marshmallow stick toward the hot spot, looking for a good place to brown my marshmallows without flambé-ing them.

Gabriel just threw his marshmallow at the hot spot and let it roll down the wall. Apparently he liked his marshmallows blackened.

I did eventually get a marshmallow cooked perfectly, but took me a few tries. Gabriel was happy to eat my rejects.

"You know you spent an _hour_ on one marshmallow?" Gabriel exaggerated.

"Really? It felt more like twenty minutes," I said. "Besides, technically I cooked about eighteen marshmallows in that amount of time. You just ate most of them."

"Ah, true," Gabriel said. "They were perfectly good marshmallows. I dunno why you didn't want them."

"Well, to be fair, I guess my chances of developing cancer went down to a whopping absolute zero when I married you, so- I guess a little char wouldn't hurt me. I'm just not used to being invincible."

"Char can kill people?" Gabriel asked. "Yeesh. I forgot how much humans break. Dad made you guys really fragile."

"Yeah, but you don't die from eating a little char once," I admitted. "It's just, if you're always eating burnt everything, you have a greater chance of developing cancer when you get really old. But you might die of other natural processes first, and other factors affect things too. Like your gender and whether you eat healthy and whether you were able to maintain a healthy body weight."

"Huh?" Gabriel said. "Let's just make more s'mores."

Once I'd found the perfect roasting distance, I easily turned out five or six more marshmallows before I started to feel sleepy, probably from a combination of sugar, too much heat, and not enough oxygen.

"Gabriel," I mumbled. That was about as far as I got. I hoped he would catch it and make sure I was okay, but I knew he would figure it out eventually.

 _Gabriel_

Draco suddenly collapsed for no apparent reason. I'm not sure what to do. I read a little of his mind before he fell asleep, and he thinks it's too hot and he can't breathe. That doesn't sound good. I increased the oxygen levels in the air to a little more than is normal above ground. And I cut off the lava flow. I don't know much about small temperature decreases, that was always more Lucifer's area of expertise.

I conjured a whole bunch of ice and dumped it everywhere Draco wasn't. I didn't want him to get too cold, and I wasn't sure where the ok temperatures were. I hope this works.

Draco opened his eyes and sat up a little bit. "Gabriel? What happened? Why is there ice everywhere? I didn't die, did I?"

Draco might've died? I started thinking of all the horrible things that could make Draco die. There were so many of them. I burst into tears. "I m-made the ice cause-" I stopped being able to make words that sounded like words. This failure made everything seem even worse, and I cried harder.

Draco held out his arms. "Gabriel, come here," he said. "I'm okay. Nothing's gonna hurt me that you can't fix easily. The s'mores were great, and I'm ready to stay here with you or go home or anywhere you like."

I hugged him and kept crying. "S-sorry," I sobbed. "I-I'm being r-really dumb for n-no reason."

"I love you, Gabriel," Draco said. He held me close and kissed my hair. "I don't think you're dumb. I love you and I'm happy that we get to be together, wherever that is and whatever it entails. I wouldn't trade you for the world."

I sighed happily. "I should thank Loki," I said.

"For bringing us together?"

"Yeah," I said. "I wasn't gonna get seriously involved with anyone again, cause the apocalypse is so close, but now I'm really happy I have you."

"We need to get angel married," Draco said. "Then you won't even have to worry about the apocalypse."

"It's four hours to midnight," I said. "And then we'll be angel married properly."

"Do you need to bring any of the stuff here?" Draco asked.

"Uh, not really," I said. "I'll just make some dirt and do that instant grass thing Raphael came up with. And then we'll need a bunch of special herbs and flowers…"

"Cool," I said. "What's the instant Ramen grass for?"

"You need to sleep on bare grass, so like, no blanket. Balthazar wanted to make people do it naked, but Castiel complained it was a bad idea. So you can wear clothes."

"Hah, it's a good thing there's no mandatory blanket, in this temperature," I said. "Except, you might want to get rid of the ice before it melts and makes your instant Ramen grass into instant Ramen grass soup."

"Point taken," I said. I was about to vanish the ice, but i had an idea. "We should do something with the ice to not waste it." I conjured a tv screen that showed the Winchester's motel room live. "Dean's asleep," I noted.

"Wow, Gabriel," Draco snarked. "That's so mature I might barf- if I was as immature as Dean."

"It's just an icily good wake up call," I said. "It won't _damage_ him."

"No, it won't damage him unless you hit him too hard or he doesn't wake up and knock the ice off," Draco confirmed.

"Hunters are light sleepers," I said confidently. "He'll survive." I dumped the ice on him.

Dean sprang out of bed, yelling.

"Sam! Wake up, now. We have to check for hex bags. I could be about to die."

Draco giggled helplessly. "He's pathetic!" He gasped.

"Dean, what-" Sam said sleepily. "Oh!" He saw the ice and started fishing through it for who knew what.

I was almost crying from laughing too much.

Dean got out a heavy axe and started chopping open the walls one at a time. Sam looked under the beds and checked inside the mattresses.

"They- they think it's a w-witch!" I choked out, still laughing. "Oo, oo, that's great!"

Draco looked less than pleased. "They think witches and wizards kill people by piling ice on them?" he fussed. "That's just- random."

I laughed harder. "Not a witch like you," I said. "This other kind of witch that gets power from demons. But I don't think they'd- he-he-he- try to kill Dean by pouring ice on him."

"Hey," Draco said in a deep voice, with a terrible accent. "Put 'im on ice."

I laughed, and dumped ice on Sam too.

"Dean, it's getting me, too. I think this pattern- doesn't really fit with a witch. It seems more like a ghost or maybe even something we've never heard of."

I giggled at Sam's logic. "He's right! They've never heard of an archangel trickster. One point to Sam!" I coated their floor in a thin layer of ice.

"Hey, Gabriel, don't forget the candy wrappers, or they'll never know it's us," said Draco.

"Good point." I made it rain candy wrappers in the hotel.

"Is it doing that in the whole building, or just their room?" Draco asked.

"The whole building," I said, smiling innocently.

Draco started playing with my hair. I leaned into his fingers and somehow ended up falling asleep. Without fixing the raining candy wrappers thing, so- Anyway, blame Draco.

 _Draco_

I guess pranking Dean and Sam made Gabriel calm down a lot, because he fell asleep. He was still a little guy, so I curled around him protectively and hummed gently until I fell asleep too.

 _I sank slowly underwater, rain on my face. The rain turned to candy bars just as a friendly underwater-dwelling frog sucked me under by wrapping his tongue around my ankle. I grabbed a giant fly and handed it to him, and he let me go._

 _I was lying on grass, wet grass, in a pool of my blood. I could see all the stars above me, just like the other night when Gabriel "married" me pagan-style. There were weird tattoos all over my arms. I looked up again, and I was looking into a pool that was somehow above me. I could see my reflection._

 _It changed to Voldemort's face. I was frozen. Gabriel was throwing popcorn at him, but it didn't seem to be enough to make him go away. Then I saw Wormtail crawling towards me, his handless stump bleeding black. I couldn't crawl away. He noticed the popcorn and started slurping it up, ignoring me. Voldemort scowled at Wormtail and jumped out of the pool, and got in a huge wrestling fight with him. Wormtail got away and bit me, and Gabriel turned into a toddler and burst into tears. I backhanded Wormtail, scooped up Gabriel, and started running._

 _I couldn't see a thing, but it didn't seem to matter. Voldemort, on the other hand, slipped in my blood and fell loudly on his face with a splash. I didn't see him again._

 _After about half an hour of running, I knew my legs were tired, but they weren't really bothering me. We started ascending slowly, and pretty soon I could see that we were high in the mountains. The stars were all gone, but I could see the rocks around me by the light of the half-moon. Gabriel was still clinging to me, so I kept going as fast as possible, trying to make sure Voldemort and Wormtail couldn't catch us and hurt or scare him. Realistically, though, Wormtail probably couldn't catch up after I'd run so far and so fast. But Voldemort could._

 _I ran faster and faster until I slipped and we fell off a cliff. I screamed soundlessly, but Gabriel was still holding me and somehow we just stopped in mid-air._

" _It's okay," he told me, and then Lenny helped pull us up._

" _Where have you been?" Lenny barked._

 _I looked around, but we were still surrounded by red-gray craggy rock, high in the air._

" _Len, what are you doing here?" I asked, but Lenny didn't seem to see the rocks._

" _Draco, are you okay? Where do you think you are?" he asked._

 _That's when I realized I must be crazy. Gabriel vanished, and Lenny got bigger and bigger until he was way bigger than me._

" _Lenny?" I asked._

" _Tsk, tsk," said a cold voice, but it still looked like Lenny to me. "Your schizophrenia is acting up again."_

 _I could feel cold metal under me and wet sheets above me._

" _Where am I?" I asked. "Is this a mental hospital? Gabriel! You didn't say I would be crazy! What's wrong with me? Help!"_

 _There was a sharp prick in my neck, and I fell asleep where I was and dreamed that Sam said Gabriel was dying of rabies. I woke up panting and freaking out._

 _Dean was leaning over me and putting huge casts on me in various places, but it was pointless because they didn't seem to weigh anything. I knocked him out with one kick, and Sam came in with a knife and tried to kill me._

 _Something stabbed Sam from behind, saving me, but I couldn't tell who it was. Gabriel? Voldemort?_

 _Lenny picked me up in his beak and plopped me in the middle of a river, but it still seemed dark and gloomy everywhere. I could see where everything was, but nothing looked like much._

 _Dad was kicking and flailing through the water upstream of me. I could see him coming a long way ahead. When he caught up to me somehow, he grabbed me and tried to pull us both under._

" _Relax, Draco," he said. "There will be a home for us under the water."_

 _It kind of creeped me out. I wanted to believe him- he's still my dad- but I didn't. Besides, I had Gabriel to think of. And I wasn't some pathetic Death Eater wannabe anymore. Gabriel saved me from that._

 _So, as hard as it was, I punched Dad under the jaw and broke away from him. I swam like the dickens, trying to reach the shore, and eventually I made it. I could see Dad flailing around underwater. I couldn't save him without risking killing myself, but Lenny could._

" _Lenny, do you see the albino frog? Could you drop him in a tide pool?" I asked._

 _Lenny looked displeased, but he did as I asked._

" _You can do better than that guy," humphed Lenny._

" _I know, but he's my dad," I said. "You only get one of those."_

I guess my brain must have been processing that too hard, because I woke up. Gabriel's eyes were open, and he looked worried and scared. I hugged him.

"You were screaming," he mumbled. "And it was scary and I didn't know what to do."

I sighed. "That's not unusual for my dreams," I said. "There've been times I didn't want to go to sleep to avoid them, but with you around I feel better about it, because you can help me be okay again when I wake up," I said. I realized that might be a lot for a ten-year-old to process. "You make me feel safer, Gabriel. I'm okay and I love you."

"But how're you ok if you're screaming?" Gabriel sniffled. "You didn't look ok."

"Sometimes people aren't okay in a particular moment, but overall they're okay," I explained. "I can live with bad dreams at night, because I get to spend time with you during the day. Does that make sense?"

"No," Gabriel said flatly.

I didn't know what to say. I wasn't really okay, but I was better than I'd hoped to ever be again a week ago, and Gabriel needed to know that this wasn't his fault and that I would probably be okay eventually. And that I can handle this, if he needs me to.

I started crying. I couldn't help it. It _was_ a pretty bad dream, and usually being around Gabriel made me feel safe enough to freak out and let him handle it, but I didn't want to put that on him when he'd already had to shrink to ten to be able to deal with his own issues.

Gabriel pulled me closer to him and cuddled me. "It's ok, pumpkin ice-cream," he told me gently. "You can cry. It's ok."

I broke down sobbing and hugged Gabriel tightly.

"What am I gonna do, Gabriel?" I complained. "I can't even have a bad dream without scaring y-you, and I can't sleep w-without having bad dreams, and I can't live without sleeping, a-and- I can't do anything right."

"So, you think you're doing something wrong?" Gabriel asked. "Draco, if you're scared, then you have to let me help you. If I have to enter your dreams every time you sleep or whatever, I can do that. We'll figure it out. And it's not your fault."

"I don't think there's one whole okay person between us," I admitted. "You- you got so freaked out when I swam away from you that one time- look." I showed him my memory of that time. "I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I did wrong. I didn't want to hurt you. But you got hurt, 'cause you have issues, too. I'm scared that maybe we can't handle everything. I'm scared that if I let you know when I'm scared and freaking out, I'll hurt you somehow and I won't be able to fix it."

"If you hurt me too much, I'll turn into a two month old baby," Gabriel said. "And we'll handle it. You can't- you just can't not come to me when you're scared. Because we're supposed to be together, because we're almost a complete person between us, because we need each other. And we'll fix whatever goes wrong. And maybe it'll be hard and it won't work all the time, but what isn't like that?"

I tried to take deep breaths and calm down, but it wasn't working. I just kept imagining all the things that could go wrong.

"G-Gabriel, do you think it would safe for two kids to be alone inside a volcano?" I asked. It was the only thing I could think of.

"For the rest of the world, or the two kids?" Gabriel asked, smirking. He snapped, and I shrunk to about Gabriel's age. I might've been a little younger. "Is that better?" he asked gently.

This was better. I could fit in Gabriel's arms now. I closed my eyes and buried my face in his shirt. I thought about apologizing for being pathetic again, but Gabriel didn't seem to like that too well, so I kept my mouth shut.

"Can we have sleeping bags? We'll ditch them when it's time for the ceremony," I said.

"I thought you were too hot," he commented as he made a bunch of neon purple sleeping bags. "Course, you're definitely too _hot_."

"I was," I said. "But- I guess when I get scared, I'm a sucker for cuddly warmth. I was hoping being inside a sleeping bag might help me calm down."

"It should," Gabriel said. He pulled a sleeping bag around us.

I burrowed in all the way to the bottom. Even curled up inside a sleeping bag and knowing nothing could get past Gabriel, I was still shaky and kinda panicking. I panicked more when I realized it wasn't working.

"Gabriel, it's not working," I said. "I don't know what's wrong."

"It's ok," Gabriel pleaded. "There's nothing dangerous here, and nothing could go wrong. Please be ok. You're my world."

I swam to the top of the sleeping bag and pulled Gabriel into my arms.

"Hey, I'm not gonna leave you. I'll be okay someday- I think. Don't worry about it too much. Last year I had nobody to stay with me when I freaked out, and I had a Dark Mark on my arm. That was awful. This isn't so bad- I just-" I started crying again. "It is kinda pretty bad, but none of this is your fault. You found me when I thought I was going to die and didn't care, and you gave me hope that my life might not be so bad. Or so short. And then you faced down Voldemort and got that stupid Dark Mark off my arm and married me- and I should be happy. I'm just miserable because of stuff that you couldn't do anything about, and now you can, and I- I'm sure that if it's possible for me to be okay, I'll be okay with you. I just- had a bad dream. That happens, and people freak out, but it doesn't last forever."

"Can you calm down in an hour?" Gabriel asked. "Cause we've only got an hour and a half before midnight if we want to get married tonight."

"I thought I just had to be asleep and unconditionally love you," I said. "We can swing that even if I'm freaking out."

Gabriel grinned. "You're sure now that the unconditional love thing will work?" he asked. "That's cool!"

"Yeah, how could it not?" I argued. "I would rather be in the middle of an active volcano with you than anywhere else in the world without you. I'll always care about you, even if you went bad or something, and I can't imagine wanting to leave you, ever."

"It'll work," Gabriel said happily. "I just want to make sure you aren't scared during the ceremony, cause it gets a little weird. Oh, and you have to be capable of speech. But that's all."

"Define weird," I said. It better not be weird like the pagan thing, or I will scream.

"Weird like-" Gabriel hesitated. "Uh, I'm not sure how to put this. Older me would be better at it."

"Either way," I said. "Or, you could show me. You can probably send pictures and videos to my head, too, right?"

"I'd burn your eyes out," Gabriel explained. "You have to see something human eyes aren't capable of seeing."

"You could skip that part? Just put in a camera flash or something."

Gabriel giggled. "I never thought of that one. But the rest of the ceremony is simple. There's this goopy bit where we talk and explain our feelings, blah, blah, blah, and then we're sort of supposed to kiss, but it doesn't actually do anything. Oh, and then the next bit will hurt, I forgot about that. Oops, sorry."

"Okay- you have to extract my wisdom teeth with no anaesthetic? Come on, be specific."

"I have to touch your soul," Gabriel explained. "And it'll hurt, like, a lot. I'll put a little of my grace in your soul, and steal a little piece of your soul and it'll do this weird thing and bind itself onto my grace."

I blinked. "Didn't you have to touch my soul twice to make sure Voldemort didn't have it? Is that the same thing? Also, what's grace?"

"It's the same thing," Gabriel agreed. "It might hurt a little more this time, but it should be about the same. Your soul will want me to take the piece I have to break off, so it won't be like I'm chopping your soul into bits or something. And grace is- it's what makes me an angel, and it's sort of an energy source thing. Basically it's the glowy silver blue stuff on our rings."

"Okay," I said. "Is that it? Is that the whole thing?"

"No," Gabriel said. "You have to see me for who I really am, or it won't work. And that would normally burn your eyes out, so-" he trailed off uncertainly.

"Um, but it won't, right? Why not?"

"Did I explain that I'm possessing a human?" Gabriel asked.

"No," I said. "We barely got past you're an archangel. You won't even let me help you with your wings yet. So I'm not terribly surprised that you haven't mentioned that yet, but it is a good time to iron all this stuff out."

"Yeah," Gabriel said. "So, I can possess people. And if I'm possessing someone, then they can see a lot more than a normal person could. For you to be able to see my true face, you need to let me possess you. So, that's- uh, that's the last thing in the ceremony? Please don't be mad."

Normally, I would have spared Gabriel's feelings and pretended I was okay, but he kind of just said not to do that, and I was already too upset to hide it very well.

I curled up into a little ball and clenched my fists and bit my cheek and cried anyway.

"I- thought this one would be- happy. And stuff. Not like that other one," I sobbed.

"Angelic possession isn't really that bad," Gabriel pleaded. "And it's only for a minute. You won't even have to give me control, just let me in." And then he was crying too.

"You're gonna tear a piece off my soul," I said. "Like some stupid Horcrux. Like Voldemort. No wonder I'm going to live forever. I'll have an archangel as a freaking Horcrux! And then you're going to basically burn my eyes out and still expect me to let you- possess me! Maybe I have some of this wrong, but if not- it sounds terrible. I don't want to do it. I don't think I can do that. I'll probably have a breakdown."

"I don't even know what a horcrux is!" Gabriel wailed. "How can you expect me to make one? I have no idea what we're talking about, but it sounds awful!"

 _It's something Voldemort did when he was my age. A lot of evil wizards used a Horcrux to protect them so they couldn't die. You take a little piece of your soul, do some other crappy stuff- decent people don't ask what exactly- and put the piece of your soul in an object. It can be alive. One of Voldemort's was a snake named Nagini. Everybody thought Voldemort was crazy- he made seven. Or maybe eight, counting Harry. He didn't mean to make Harry his Horcrux, but I heard he maybe did. But he killed Harry, for whatever reason, so that got rid of that Horcrux. I think he still has like two left. Not Nagini. Neville killed Nagini._

 _That's another stupid mistake I made- I assumed that because Neville's bad at Potions, not as smart as me, and on Dad's bad list, meant he was stupid and deserved me to pick on him all the time and totally write him off. But I was wrong. I wish now I'd considered being friends with him or at least showed him some respect. He turned out to be a pretty cool guy._

 _I- Horcruxes keep you alive; if you die, it just doesn't work. Like, you can use the Horcrux to come back. But they are NOT a good thing. Only really bad wizards who really don't care about their souls and just greedily want to live forever make them. And- I mean, I do want to live forever with you, but- I don't know if this is worth it. It really sounds like a really bad idea. I mean, it just sounds an awful lot like something I KNOW is a really bad idea. I'm sorry, Gabriel. I guess this would've meant a lot to you._

"I don't th-think it sounds much like a horcrux at all," Gabriel protested. "Maybe I explained it really badly. Like, _really badly_. I'm not going to- it doesn't work like that- ugh, I have no idea how to explain this."

"Then don't," I said miserably. "Just forget about me, and I'll curl up in a little ball and die."

"What?" Gabriel asked, confused and horrified. "Draco, stop it! That's awful. Aah! What am I supposed to do?"

"I dunno," I said. "We're out of luck. This has been great, but-" Gabriel cut me off.

"Wait," he gasped. "Are you dumping me?"

Oh, right, I forgot. Even if the universe is ending, nothing is more important than making sure Gabriel knows I am not and never will dump him.

"No," I mumbled. "I'm dumping everything except you. Including me. I'm done. You can make me stay alive if it makes you happy, but I can't promise to be nice."

"But-" Gabriel stared at me. He tilted his head to the side. "OK." He hugged me. "I have no idea what exactly happened, but I think you need to calm down right now and stop worrying about anything."

Worry, huh? I wasn't sure I was capable of doing anything at all. Everything was up to Gabriel now. I don't know why he was still bothering to talk to me. It's not like I could help. I mean, if I had to act to save his life, I would, but barring that, I couldn't really see myself having any voluntary control.

"It's ok," he told me gently. "You don't have to do anything." He kissed my forehead and rocked me softly.

Well, good. I just hoped I didn't do or say anything stupid that could kill me or make Gabriel think I was dumping him. I still remembered how much that scared him, and I didn't want to go there.

"As long as you don't dump me, it can't get that bad," Gabriel said, but he sounded like he was trying to convince himself. "So we can figure this out. Somehow. Hopefully."

I shook my head. "We need help," I said. "I know you've been used to being a loner, but I have a lot of issues to work through, and you can't handle it by yourself."

"Who do I call?" he asked lostly. "I don't have any friends anymore."

"It doesn't have to be somebody more powerful than you. Anybody we could trust would help. You mentioned you're friends with Loki and that you could call Michael or Raphael if we needed help protecting the little mini-Winchesters from Lucifer." I smiled reluctantly at the thought of Sam and Dean being little kids.

"I could call Michael I guess," Gabriel said. "But I dumped Heaven and everything and- I don't know. I'd just feel stupid calling him. I probably should anyway."

"Maybe he misses you," I said. "I mean, I'm all for assuming the universe might be terrible, but we can't ignore the things that _might_ be okay."

"Yeah, probably," Gabriel said. "What would I even say? It's been six thousand ish years of no contact, and now?"

"Tell him you think you found the one, but it's a helpless fragile human who's freaking out about nothing and you don't know what to do. If you miss him, tell him you missed him. Tell him he's still your brother and he's the only one you could think of to call."

"That would be true," Gabriel admitted. "Do you think- d'you think he'll really come?"

"Would you come if he was in trouble and sent you that message?"

"Of course," Gabriel said. "I wouldn't even think about it first."

"So maybe try it. The worst thing he can do is not show up, right? He wouldn't get mad and scream and throw things, would he?"

Gabriel burst out laughing. "OK, ok, I'll call him," he said. "Wait, how do I start?"

"How about something like, 'Uh, Michael? It's your brother Gabriel.' Then just start talking."

"But-but," Gabriel stammered. "Oh dear."

"Are you going to actually call me, or just sit there discussing it?" Michael asked, appearing next to us.


	8. Chapter 8

**Additional point of view, Gabriel being miserable and unpredictable, cuteness, wing stuff.**

 _Draco_

I hid under the edge of the sleeping bag. Hey, it's Gabriel's brother, not mine. I'm not starting a chat with Michael the archangel. Uh-uh.

Gabriel tackled Michael with a hug. "I didn't think you'd actually show up!"

"When have I ever not come when you called?" Michael asked.

"Well, never," Gabriel admitted. "But it's been several thousand years."

"Has it?" Michael asked. "I seem to remember talking to you a few days ago. How odd."

I snuggled deeper under the sleeping bag and hoped Michael wouldn't notice me. It was lonely without Gabriel, but getting to hug Michael again seemed to be a really big deal to him. I would survive.

"Um, Gabriel, do you mind if I clean this place?" Michael asked. "Cherry carpets are unsanitary."

Gabriel made the most adorable frowny-face. "Do you have to?" he whined.

"It's messy," Michael complained.

"Ugh, fine," Gabriel said. "Just stop being OCD afterwards."

I giggled but didn't stick my head out. I felt a little better knowing that Michael and Gabriel obviously cared a lot about each other. That didn't mean I would be okay, but at least if anything happened to me, Gabriel wouldn't be alone.

"What is OCD?" Michael asked.

"It just means you obsess about a bunch of stupid things," Gabriel said. "And you're a neat freak."

"OK," Michael said uncertainly. "As long as I get to clean this bubble, I don't care what you call me." He waved his hand, and all the mess disappeared.

My head was still spinning, and I started to feel nauseated. I hoped I wasn't going to puke on Gabriel's sleeping bag, not that it would bug him or anything. I thought Michael was going to come fix stuff, not just get in cuteness contests with Gabriel.

"Brother, I don't think you've been caring for your human properly," Michael said in a concerned voice. "You do realise humans can't process that much glucose without experiencing negative effects."

I burrowed to the bottom of the sleeping bag, ashamed. Michael was mad at Gabriel over me. I wished I could just disappear.

Gabriel pulled me out of the sleeping bag. "I didn't think it was _that_ much sugar," he said guiltily. "How do I fix it?"

I didn't resist him pulling me out of the sleeping bag. It turned out I did have the strength to stand up, but Michael and Gabriel's voices were too loud, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't know if we were out of oxygen again or if I just needed more oxygen than my lungs could process. I had been crying, so my nose and throat were full of snot. I stared miserably at Michael, wondering when he was going to go away, and whether he was really going to get Gabriel to change anything. And I wondered whether I had lost anything with Gabriel by refusing the angel marriage. I was starting to think I should have just ignored the warning signs and went for it. I couldn't upset Gabriel!

"Here," Michael said. He touched my forehead with two fingers. Physically, I felt a lot better, but I couldn't process that, so I let go of Gabriel and curled up to sleep it off.

 _Gabriel_

"How've you been?" Michael asked.

I fiddled with my fingers and tried to come up with a reply. "Um, fine! Totally fine! I'm great."

"OK," Michael said. "Why are you ten? That's usually a sign of something being not fine."

"Um… because I'm maybe a little bit sorta kinda microscopically not entirely 100% fine?"

"I noticed," Michael said.

"Yeah," I said, giving up. "I'm just really worried about Draco mostly. He keeps freaking out, and I'm never sure how to stop it or help him or anything. And the worst thing- he says it was way worse before I showed up. And it's so awful now that I can't even think about what that must mean."

"At least you know that you're improving his life," Michael said. "That should help some."

"But it's not enough," I protested. "He's a mess, and I keep overreacting to the stupidest of things and then he gets scared too, and I just don't know how to fix any of it."

"Do you know why you're overreacting?" Michael asked.

"What, are you playing therapist or something now?" I demanded. "It's not important."

Michael gave me the unimpressed big brother look.

"Argh," I complained. "Fine. I think he's gonna leave me, and I can't handle it."

"I assume you have strong evidence to indicate otherwise," Michael said. "He's not going to leave you."

"Well, maybe, but what if he does?" I asked. I felt like crying again.

"There are factors contributing to your belief that he'll leave," Michael noted. "You might try discussing them with him."

"But they're silly," I argued. "I'm dumb. He's not gonna leave, and I should just stop overreacting before I drive him away."

Draco turned over and hugged the sleeping bag. "Gabriel," he murmured sleepily.

"He doesn't think you're dumb," Michael said. "I think you're the only person who thinks you're dumb."

"Well, maybe, but- I keep freaking out any time any of the topics I need to discuss with him comes up in the conversation. I _can't_ let him help me. I don't know how."

"What's the worst thing that could happen if you asked him for help?" Michael asked. "Try to be honest with yourself."

"He'll get mad and dump me," I said.

Michael raised one eyebrow and stared at me.

"OK, ok," I said. "So, he'll probably get upset and yell random things at me and then we'll both be crying."

"Probably?" Michael asked. "You sure about that?"

"OK, so that's a mild possibility," I admitted. "But it could happen."

"So, it's a possibility," Michael said. "It's better than doing nothing, right? And even the worst that could happen doesn't honestly sound that bad."

I crossed my arms and scowled. "I'm not doing it." I sounded like a petulant child. I didn't care.

"Think about it," Michael ordered. Then he changed the subject to something lighter and more handleable, and we just talked for a while. We spent the next ten-ish hours talking about everything, and then Draco woke up.

 _Draco_

I woke up. We were still in that volcano bubble thing, and Michael and Gabriel were still there. Gabriel and I were both all grown-up again. I climbed into Gabriel's lap and wrapped his arms around me.

"Hi, Michael," I said hesitantly. I figured since we were still alive, he probably wouldn't hurt us, and since he was still here, obviously he wanted to be here. So maybe it was okay to talk to him. I mean, Gabriel is an archangel too, but I _know_ Gabriel. So that doesn't scare me.

"Hello, Draco," Michael said. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Um- thanks," I said. I was reminded of my awkwardness and stuck-up attitude when I met Gabriel. I couldn't talk. "So, uh- you're Gabriel's brother?"

"Um, yeah?" Michael said nervously.

"Okaaay," I said. "Should I have not had Gabriel call you? Were you busy or something?"

"No, no," Michael said quickly. "I'm glad you did that. I'm just- not good with human interactions."

"Oh," I said. "Okay. Uh- how long are you planning to- stay? Do we need to feed you breakfast?"

Michael looked confused. "What's breakfast?" he asked. "I'm sorry. I just haven't been on Earth in two thousand years." He looked really awkward and embarrassed.

"Oh, not important. Breakfast is just the first meal of the day, then lunch is around noon or one pm, and dinner is the last meal. If you eat three meals." I leaned back and cuddled Gabriel.

"Course, Gabey here only eats twenty meals a day, and they're all pure sugar."

"I'm masquerading as a trickster," Gabriel protested. "I _have_ to eat lots of sugar!"

"I know," I said. "You eat sugar because you think it'll make you feel better, so then it does because of the placebo effect. But anything that helps you, I have no objection to." I cleared my throat. "So, Michael, any ideas besides sugar for breakfast? Gabriel will cooperate if we gang up on him." I grinned at Gabriel.

Michael laughed and Gabriel scowled at me.

"Omelets, maybe?" Michael asked. "I don't think even Gabriel can put sugar on those."

"I can put frosting on omelets," Gabriel said. "It'll just taste funny."

I laughed. "It's okay, Gabriel, you don't have to eat anything healthy if you don't want to. But I need to, and it sounds like Michael might not mind either."

"That's dumb," Gabriel pouted half-heartedly.

"Uh-huh," I said. "Watch your tone, dearest. I might decide you're trying to say I'm dumb, and that would just be a tragedy." I realized too late that he might take even that as an attempt to dump him.

Gabriel pulled my hair and stuck his tongue out at me.

"Oh, Gabriel," I sighed. I turned and kissed him, my hands in his hair.

 _Dude, I love you. Chill. I will always love you and I would never dump you over anything, let alone something as stupid as sugar. It's okay. I love you. Trust me a little. Forever, Gabriel. That's what marriage means to me._

Gabriel kissed back desperately, pulling me closer and slipping his tongue into my mouth.

 _Gabriel- I hope you get what I'm trying to tell you. I know it's tough for you to believe me when I say that I'll love you forever and I'm not leaving, but I promise it's true. Nothing else matters, not really. If you want to keep us both on the diabetes diet and hide your wings indefinitely and turn us both into infants every time we get scared, I don't care. I wanna be wherever you are. I love you._

Gabriel's rather incoherent thoughts entered my mind. " _Love you; love you; love you. Don't leave. Love you,"_ was the general impression I got.

I would have replied, but I kind of got lost in the kiss. I still wasn't anywhere near as used to kissing as Gabriel probably was, and he was pretty distracting. I even forgot Michael was there, I forgot where we were. Dad and a pile of Death Eaters could have been watching, and I wouldn't have noticed or cared.

When I finally pulled away like fifteen minutes later, Gabriel whimpered and looked like the world was ending. Michael was sitting facing away from us with his hands over his ears and looking like he wished he could die.

I laid my head on Gabriel's chest. "I'm still here," I pointed out. "Breathe. It's okay, Gabriel. We'll be okay. I love you forever."

Michael made an exasperated sound. "Are you two _done_?" Michael squeaked. His face was bright red.

"Sorry," Gabriel told me. "I know I'm ridiculously clingy and stupid and it's probably really annoying and you should just leave because-"

"HEY!" I yelled. "Stop that. Just stop. I am NOT leaving you, Gabriel. I'm not upset that you're clingy, it just makes me want to do anything to make you okay again. I love you so much. I wouldn't care if you're stupid a-and pathetic, because you can't possibly be as stupid and pathetic as me- and STOP SAYING YOU ARE ANNOYING! It's just not true and it's totally ridiculous and you should know I don't think that and I love you but you're just hurting yourself and it's TERRIBLE!"

I clung tightly to Gabriel. I needed to know he was still physically there if he was going to go on like that. "I love you," I whimpered. "I'm not leaving you. Please try to believe me."

"W-well, I love you of c-course," Gabriel said. "Who could not? B-but I still don't g-get how you can possibly care about m-me. It doesn't make any s-sense."

"Does it matter?" I asked. "I love you. I'm not leaving you. Ever. Aren't those the important points?"

"I kn-know I'm b-being irrational and f-freaking out about nothing, but I c-can't help it!" Gabriel sobbed. "And I don't want to be pathetic cause then you'll want to leave, even if you d-don't, but I can't stop c-crying for no apparent r-reason and I- I don't know what's wr-wrong, except th-that's not entirely true, which is s-stupid, because I should be able to h-handle it when I t-totally can't."

I cut him off. "Gabriel, slow down. It's okay. I know you don't feel okay, but I think part of this is, like you said, not rational, and that means we can fix this. It's not as bad as it looks. And that's one reason we have Michael here, because we can't handle everything between the two of us, but we don't have to."

Gabriel shivered and hid his face in my shoulder. He didn't say anything, he just sat there trembling like a leaf in the wind.

I couldn't sit facing away from Gabriel and let him shake helplessly. I scooted off of his lap and sat across from him, pulling his head onto my chest.

"Just breathe," I told him. "Shh, it's okay. Just breathe. Hang on. Things won't be this bad forever. You will feel better, and our relationship will keep growing and getting stronger, and someday- maybe we'll both be okay. We'll pull the best pranks anybody has ever seen, and you won't ever be alone again. Hang on to that."

Michael spoke up after a minute. "You know, Draco, there's a way you could help Gabriel a lot in a short amount of time."

I tightened my arms around Gabriel. "Only if he's okay with it."

"The bond between you two won't let him not be ok with it," Michael said. "He'll get worse and worse until you do something about it, whether he's willing to or not."

I started crying. Apparently there was some stupid thing I had to do to Gabriel whether he liked it or not, and he would be stuck wanting it, and he would die if I didn't cooperate. I wasn't pleased, but maybe Gabriel would be okay.

"What are you talking about?" I asked as calmly as possible, which wasn't very.

"Groom his wings," Michael said. "He won't die if you don't, he'll just get more insecure and weaker until he's lying on the floor sobbing all day long. It wouldn't be pretty."

Well, gee, thanks, Michael. I didn't need that picture in my head. I knew Gabriel needed help with his wings, but I didn't know it would be this bad. But I was still scared that if I tried to make Gabriel let me help him with his wings too soon, I'd either break him or he would run away again and maybe not come back.

"How do I know that making him let me touch his wings won't be worse?" I asked. "It sounds like wings are pretty personal. I don't want to hurt him."

"If you truly care about Gabriel, you'll help him," Michael said. "There would be no way for you to hurt him worse than you would by inaction."

I didn't know what to think. "Gabriel?"

Gabriel sniffled. "Go away," he said. "I don't wanna exist."

"That sounds pretty bad," I said softly. "Gabriel, it sounds like a lot of this is because you won't deal with your wings. Would it- would it be so bad if you let me brush some of the dust off them? It might make you feel a lot better."

"They look stupid," Gabriel sobbed. "And you should just cut them off-"

"NO!" I said. "Gabriel, no. Stop." I tried to calm down and spoke a little more gently. "Do you want them to look bad? Why won't you let me help you? I like your wings. Michael probably likes your wings, too. Michael, say something."

"Gabriel, your wings are beautiful," Michael said. "They always were. They blended with the sky, you know, in a way none of the rest of us could ever hope for."

"But they're blue!" Gabriel wailed. "And now they're grey cause I haven't cleaned them in several millennia."

Michael winced and his face paled. "Millennia?" he asked. "I thought it was bad the time I didn't clean my wings for a month! Gabriel, are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"Well, there's no point to me being alive," Gabriel sobbed. "So I might as well let my wings fall off and die."

I froze. I didn't realize Gabriel wanted to die. Why'd he marry me if he didn't want to be married to me? Maybe he was just delirious with misery.

 _Is this really all your wings?_ I asked him silently. _Or is there something else horribly wrong?_

"F-fine," Gabriel sobbed. "Do whatever you l-like with them, they're not w-worth anything anyway." And his wings, all six of them, filled the room.

"I should go," Michael said, vanishing.

Gabriel was apparently suicidal, so I didn't think talking to him first or trying to calm him down would do much. In fact, if I waited, he might change his mind or get way worse. I needed to do this now.

I ran a hand over one wing, gently. A lot of dust came off, but it didn't even really make a dent in the amount of dust that was clogged between the feathers. I started untangling the feathers that were stuck together, trying to be as gentle as possible, but in some places there were feathers painfully bunched together by some kind of crud that had hardened.

I looked over and Gabriel was still a shivering, crying mess. I hoped I wasn't totally botching this, but Michael said anything would be better than leaving them alone.

It took me a long time to finish cleaning what I could with my fingers. Michael had left a bucket full of very slightly soapy water and a bunch of brushes, so I dipped a sponge in the water and started cleaning the outside of Gabriel's wings. I kind of wanted to burrow into Gabriel's wings and sleep, but I had a job to do.

Once the outside surface looked okay, I started trying to figure out how to clean the deeper feathers. It seemed impossible. I straightened any broken feathers, and went over the wings again checking for any injuries or clumped feathers. It felt like it had been hours.

"Gabriel, how am I doing? Do you feel okay?" I asked. If he didn't respond, I would go around and check on him.

There was no response, so I walked around and went to check on him. Gabriel was asleep.

I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead, then went back around to see if there was anything else I could do.

I found a brush that seemed to work for the feathers that had dried together funny. I spent a long time on one wing, smoothing out all the feathers and fitting them together neatly. Then I fell asleep.

 _Gabriel_

I felt weird when I woke up. I don't know how to describe it. Maybe like I'd been locked in an oven for an hour and then dumped into a bucket of ice? It wasn't particularly unpleasant, just weird. I actually felt pretty good.

I was still in the cool fire bubble in the volcano, so that was good. This place is great. Draco was there, but Michael still wasn't back yet from wherever he went. Raphael probably kidnapped him or something.

Draco looks really cute when he's asleep. I didn't notice that enough earlier. You know, Draco is pretty awesome. We should just stay here in the volcano for the rest of our lives and not worry about anything. That would be perfect.

I curled around Draco and hugged him. His hair was really fun to mess with, so I gave him a purple mohawk with red stripes. It was a little too bright for his complexion, but I think it looks cute. I'm not removing it until he complains, which should be a while since there's no reason for him to notice.

I got bored, so I made floating clear bubbles that whizzed around the big bubble we were in, banging into everything. Michael won't approve, so that's a plus. I hope Draco doesn't mind, but then annoying him might be fun. I haven't tried enough of that yet.

I made a bubble bounce up and down on Draco's nose. Draco blinked and stirred. He mumbled something but didn't wake up.

Aw. I wanted to talk to him, but he probably needed his sleep. I guessed I'd have to find something to do while I waited. I figured spying on the Winchesters could be fun. So I made another tv and found the Winchesters on it. Dean was washing his socks in a hotel room sink. Sam wasn't in the room. It wasn't the most entertaining thing.

Maybe Sam was doing something more interesting. I found him at the library, doing research. Ugh. Were the Winchesters trying to bore me to death? Cause it's a great tactic. Well, I suppose since I'm spying on them without their knowledge, it's kind of my fault if I'm bored. After five minutes of watching Sam do research, I was ready to even go back to the dirty socks. This was _so boring_. How could Sam like that stuff?

I flipped back to Dean. He had abandoned his socks, which were still in the sink. He was sitting on his bed watching _Dr. Sexy_ on tv. And he says he's straight. Seriously, dude. Now, I think _Dr. Sexy_ is the dullest show in existence, so I decided to tweak it a bit.

The hot but something-or-other Dr. Something-or-other was kissing Dr. Sexy in the elevator when I made it crash. I hope both characters died. Dean looked horrified. I was almost expecting him to start crying. And then Dr. Piccolo (I think that's her name) spontaneously combusted and turned into a pile of bubblegum.

Dean finally realized that something was wrong and got suspicious. He pulled out his ghost monitor thing. What's that called? It's low quality hunter junk anyway. Oh, right, an EMF Detector. I made it light up bright blue around the tv. Since it's only supposed to be capable of lighting up red, Dean knew the reading wasn't accurate.

He smacked the detector a few times to try and fix it. Seriously, Dean-o, how is swatting it going to help anything? I made it short out and start smoking. Dean dropped it, looking angry and confused.

"What the hell?" he asked.

Dean went and checked his salt lines. I swapped the salt to powdered sugar. I would've used regular sugar, but I was hoping he'd be able to tell the difference. He didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. Aw. As soon as his back was turned, I swapped out my powdered sugar lines for pink sprinkles.

Dean blinked confusedly at the lines. "What the hell?" he repeated. He kicked at them and turned away.

Dean called Sam.

"Sam speaking."

"Hiya, Sammy. Uh- we've had, uh- interesting- occurrences! Around the hotel room. My salt line just turned into- _pink sprinkles_."

I giggled. Dean sounded so confused. This was great! I needed to play with these hunters more often.

Sam paused a moment. "Practical joke?" he guessed.

"Dunno," said Dean hurriedly. "But earlier, my EMF detector was acting up. Lit up blue, and then just started smoking. It was the weirdest thing. We may have to drop our case, Sam. I think something else is after us."

"It's pretty old, Dean," Sam said. "It's probably just broken."

"Yeah, but blue?" Dean objected. "Something's just not right."

"That is a little odd," Sam admitted.

"Yeah, I think it's more than a little odd," Dean said. "We need to figure out what this is before something dangerous happens. EMF detectors should not be turning blue. And earlier today? I was watching this TV show, and the elevator crashed. And then another character just- exploded and turned into bubble gum! It's a soap opera. That is not normal."

"You were watching a soap opera?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Dr. Sexy M.D. Look, Sam, that's not the point. This is a serious case."

"So that's the name of that hospital show you're addicted to?" Sam asked. " _Dr. Sexy_? Really?"

"I am not _addicted_. I watch it occasionally. C'mon Sam, dude gets bored. Especially, when you spend all your time off _researching_. I mean, dude, do you get any more boring?"

Sam laughed. "You know, it's probably just the trickster again. Just wait it out, and I'll be back in a few hours when I finish my work on the real case."

"Sammy, you're not taking me seriously. This is a real case. Removing salt lines? Don't you think that's a bit suspicious? I mean, those salt lines protect us. What if some demon or ghost just decided to- walk in? It's not like we don't make enemies in our line of work."

Aw, come on. As if I would let that happen. Though now that I came to think of it, making Dean think he was being attacked by a ghost might be fun. Before Sam could reply, Dean got tackled by the ghost of some lady I invented who liked tickling her victims to death. Dean dropped the phone and whisked an iron poker through the ghost. She shimmered and disappeared, only to reappear behind him. He poured a new salt line around himself, leaving her to pout, and reached for the phone, but she was too quick and dragged him out of the salt circle and started tickling him.

"Dean? Dean!" Sam's voice sounded oddly squeaky through the phone.

Draco sat up, hands over his ears.

"Aagh, it's so noisy," he complained. Then he saw me. "Gabriel, hey! How- um, how did I do on your wings?"

I vanished the ghost and made the monitor disappear. "You're awake!" I tackled him in a hug and kissed his cheek.

"Wow. Gabriel. You seem- different this morning. I guess Michael was right, then?"

"Michael's typically right when he actually gives an opinion," I said. "Wait. Don't ever tell him I said that."

Draco shrugged. "I probably won't. Gabriel, are your wings okay?"

I blinked. "My wings? Oh, they feel great. I bet that's what's different about today." I kissed his cheek again. "Thanks."

"You seem really- hyper today. I just want to make sure you're okay. Are you? Should I have waited? I just want you to be okay."

"Waited for what?" I was feeling too scatterbrained to figure out what he meant.

"Do you even remember yesterday?" Draco asked.

I thought back. "Days are confusing… Michael was here. I was really gloom and doom. Was that the day we played candyland?" I shrugged. "It's fuzzy."

"You were- really upset. And I didn't know why. And then I was upset, and you couldn't help much because you were upset, so we ended up basically calling Michael. And then he said you needed me to help you with your wings or you would just become an even more miserable weepy mess, and then-" Draco took a deep, heaving breath. "You said something like you didn't want to live. You tried to tell me to cut off your wings. Eventually you agreed to let me try to groom them, but- you didn't seem like you were even really capable of making a decision at all. So- I tried to groom them, and I just really hope I did the right thing, Gabriel. And then you fell asleep, and this is the first time I've talked to you since." Draco waited.

I studied him, trying to keep the shock and horror off my face. "I'm sorry," I said. "I know angels get pretty gloomy when their wings are hurt. I, uh- I should've taken better care of them. Thanks for helping me, and- uh, you did a good job cause they feel a lot better."

Draco was crying. He sniffed. "Is that what was wrong? Your wings really felt that bad?"

I cuddled him and wiped the tears off his cheeks. "I guess. I don't really remember it properly. Are you ok? Please don't cry."

"You sounded like you wanted to kill yourself!" Draco wailed. "And then you tried to tell me to cut off your wings. Your wings, Gabriel. It was horrible." He broke down sobbing.

I didn't know what to do besides holding him. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, pumpkin."

"You h-hurt yourself," Draco said miserably. "And you didn't tell me what was wrong, and y-you were scared when Michael even brought it up, and- it was awful. How do I know you won't hide your wings until the last minute again, a-and I might have t-to force you to let me fix them."

I was almost crying myself by that point. "I- I dunno," I said. "Angel wings are supposed to get groomed about once a week, minimum. So if you groom them every few days it wouldn't h-have to be a problem."

"Are you gonna let me? You seemed awfully upset about them before. You tried to tell me they looked like the split ends at the bottom of a broom. And you said stupid stuff like you hated the color, or they were ugly. And then when you showed them to me, you were, like, miserable. That doesn't seem like it would just be because they got dirty."

"It's more than cleaning when you groom an angel's wings," I admitted softly. "It's this huge bonding experience, and not having it- It was like they were this huge symbol of the fact that nobody cared enough about me to help me. And I couldn't let you see it, because it was so horrible." I looked deep into his eyes, begging him to understand. "And now, because you helped me- it's a constant reminder that you care about me- that you love me. So it's like the opposite of before."

Draco looked worried. "But they're still messy from when you didn't have anybody to help with them," he said, not looking at me.

"They're so much better than they were before that it's not even registering yet," I told him. "Just- finish it in the next few days- and I won't even notice. I mean, if you want to. I'm sure you don't- well, I mean- never mind."

"I was kind of wondering how to get the dust out from underneath the feathers," Draco said. "Do you think- maybe a shop vac running backwards? If we could get it gentle enough. Maybe we could blow the dust out without hurting your feathers."

I stared at him. "A what?" Seriously, was that even English?

Draco sighed. "I'm sorry. I knew it was a dumb idea. I don't know anything about wings. I don't even birdwatch."

"It's not a dumb idea," I argued. "I just don't know what a- stop vac is."

"It's just like a commercial vacuum cleaner or something. It's not important. Muggles use them on like thick carpets and their cars and stuff."

"Oh, ok," I said. I rested my head against his shoulder. "I love you."

 _Is Gabriel really okay? He seems kinda- waaay more cheerful, but not really emotionally stable exactly… And he's definitely not staying on topic very well. Also, he seems to think that me not caring about his wings is an option- Yeah, leave the baby in the burning building. I don't think so. What am I gonna do? Maybe Gabriel has bipolar. Maybe we should call Michael again._

"Staying on topic is overrated," I told him, licking his ear. "Michael'll pop back in when he escapes his job- or when I call him, probably. He's not good at not coming when somebody calls him. You want breakfast?"

Draco weighed his options. "Yeah. Cause I need breakfast. But then we're working on your wings again, if you think you can handle it."

"Kay, pumpkin egg-roll," I said, nuzzling his shoulder. I snapped up a bunch of healthy mexican food and some less than healthy snickers bars. "This ok?"

"Yeah, sure," said Draco. "We could share an enchilada?" he offered.

I nodded. "Sounds good."

 _Draco_

I was really worried about Gabriel. Like, really worried. Last night was awful. First we were both a mess, and then Michael fixed my sugar crash issues, but Gabriel just kept getting worse. Then I had to clean his wings when he could barely consent to it at all, and just hope that he would be okay. That I wasn't hurting him and it was really going to help, because- he was doing terribly. Now he's all crazy-happy-punch drunk and cuddly and doesn't seem able to focus or think about what was bugging him so much yesterday, and that really worries me.

It's like he wants to pretend everything is wonderful now that I worked on his wings a little, and he's getting away with it because he has barely any energy to process anything at all, let alone the issues that had him screaming just hours ago. And he wants me to think he's okay.

It seems like the important thing is to be strong for him while he's going through all this craziness, and make sure I get his wings in much better shape and keep them that way. And not let him avoid talking to Michael just because he has himself convinced that he's okay now. I don't buy that.

Gabriel made some pretty good Mexican food for breakfast, and I even got him to eat some. He may think he can live on nothing but sugar, but since I'm not sure whether that's part of the problem or not, I figure getting him to eat some healthy food is a good step.

I honestly have no idea how we're going to make it through. But I'm pretty sure two people who have been mildly suicidal within the past week don't need to be going it alone. That sounds really foolish. Ideally, we would have more people who could help check in on us, especially if Gabriel feels like he needs us to stay in the volcano, but at least we have Michael. Once I get Gabriel's wings cleaned some more, if Michael hasn't shown up, I'll have Gabriel talk to him again. Trying to survive by ourselves is just ridiculous at this point.

"May I kiss you?" Gabriel asked out of the blue.

I had no idea what he was up to now, but I knew anything that might sound like rejection or a breakup would be- not good, so I agreed.

"Sure," I said.

Gabriel kissed me, casually at first, but then more and more desperately. He seemed fragile and clingy.

 _Hey, Gabriel? You're not okay, are you. Talk to me._

" _I don't know!"_ he cried in my head. " _I'm just really confused. And my head won't stop spinning. And I'm- I'm- I don't have anything figured out right now! Help!"_

 _It's okay. I won't let anything bad happen, and we can figure this out. Do you want me to call Michael?_ I pulled Gabriel closer to me and wrapped my arms around him.

" _I dunno_ ," Gabriel said. " _Maybe- no. I mean yeah. Um, sure, whatever."_

I broke the kiss, but pulled Gabriel into my lap and kept my arms around him.

"Michael? I think we need help again," I called. "It's kind of important."

Michael showed up immediately. "Hello," he said. "Um- what's wrong?"

"It's Gabriel. He seemed- sorta okay, maybe, but not really, this morning, and then he kind of freaked out."

Gabriel clung to me desperately and started sucking a mark onto my neck. I gasped and completely lost my head. I hoped Michael could handle the situation all by himself, because I wasn't going to be any help. My eyes probably glazed over or something. I don't remember whether I could see or not.

 _Michael_

Um… what am I supposed to do? I am not certain I'm capable of handling this situation. I know what is wrong with Gabriel, but I don't think there's any quick cure. I could list the cause and symptoms, but I don't think either of them is listening. They're kind of- um. I can't look at them right now.

Should I leave for an hour or so? So they can have so privacy for these activities? Because I would really like to leave before I die of embarrassment. But that's probably not a good idea. They just called me, and they are experiencing a lot of problems.

I wish there were rules for this situation. Rules make everything so much easier to deal with. There's probably something very important I should be doing right now, I just have no idea what it is. Do I just sit here until someone tells me what I'm supposed to be doing? That works a lot of the time in Heaven, except then I get in trouble for being inconsistent. Why did anyone make me the leader? I just didn't have the initiative to refuse when everyone said I should be the leader! That makes a bad leader!

"Um- Draco?" I asked. I don't think he heard me. Oh well. "Can you guys stop? Please?"

This isn't working. Maybe if I… separate them somehow? Or I could knock Gabriel unconscious. Would Draco worry if Gabriel fell asleep for no reason? I could explain afterwards.

I tapped Gabriel's shoulder and he fell asleep. He was still cuddled around Draco, but not sucking on his neck anymore.

Draco blinked a few times and held Gabriel close.

"Hi, sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to black out like that."

"It's fine," I mumbled, rubbing my neck and trying not to die. This whole situation was so embarrassing.

"Gabriel, uh- do you know what's going on with him? Is he still messed up because of his wings?" Draco looked worried.

"Yes, in a way," I said. "His wings were hurt for so long that the shock of being partially groomed is messing with his head. It's inevitable, and you'll have to wait it out."

"Should I have not done as much to them?" Draco asked, looking very confused and worried. "I didn't mean to hurt him."

"No," I said. "He was going to suffer these effects no matter how much you did. After thousands of years without being groomed there was no way to not hurt him. He should start behaving more normally over the next several days."

"How often do I need to groom his wings? He doesn't seem like he can handle telling me when he needs help with them, but I don't know why."

"It's- it's not something we have an easy time discussing," I admitted. "And talking about his own wings would be even harder than talking about wings in general."

"Oooohh," said Draco, after a long pause. "Okay. I- didn't realize that. Can you, uh, tell me what I need to know- or- is there a book or something, maybe?"

"I'll just tell you," I groaned, blushing. "There's no book. Everyone was too embarrassed to write one. Groom his wings about twice a day for the next two or three weeks, and then drop down to once daily for about a month. Then you'll only have to do it once every few days, and waiting a week is fine a couple times. Just don't make waiting that long a regular thing." I was feeling very tempted to vanish. But it was probably a bad idea. How had I gotten into this mess?

Draco frowned. "Can he handle that much? He seems pretty upset. What if he doesn't want to let me see them?"

I shrugged. "Make him?"

"But he's an archangel and I'm a twenty-year-old kid. And-" Draco started crying "-he was so miserable yesterday, and it was awful." Draco hid his head in his hands.

I fiddled with my fingers and tried to come up with something to say. "It won't be as bad again. That was probably the worst of it. As for the disparity in your physical strength, it probably won't become relevant."

 _Okay_ , Draco thought. _That's not what I meant exactly, but I get what he's saying. I guess I'll have to make Gabriel let me groom his wings. Maybe it's for the best. He's pretty freaked out right now. The best thing I can do is probably to try to do whatever Michael says. It seemed like he really cares about Gabriel, so I don't think he would tell me to do anything that would hurt Gabriel. Oh, right, he's still freaking out_.

"Thanks, Michael," Draco said. "I think Gabriel and I can figure this out. I'll call you again if we get stuck."

"OK," I said. I flew away. I would've tried to come up with some polite goodbye thing, but I just really wanted to escape that awkward conversation. Ugh, that was a nightmare. I just hope I told Draco enough that he can help Gabriel.

 _Draco_

Michael left. I guess talking to me was pretty embarrassing. I could have tried to be less blunt or smooth things over, but then I wouldn't have gotten my questions answered. For the moment, though, I think I understand enough to get by.

Michael said twice a day, so I'm already behind, but Gabriel's asleep.

I traced a finger over Gabriel's nose and whispered in his ear.

"Hey, Gabe, do you think you can make your wings visible again? I need to groom them."

"Draco?" Gabriel mumbled. He sat up a little and blinked at me sleepily.

"Hi, baby. Are you awake now?" I asked gently.

"No," he said. He rested his head against my chest and closed his eyes.

"It's okay to go back to sleep, but I need you to get out your wings. You can go right back to sleep in a minute if you want to," I told him. "It's going to be okay. I love you."

"Love you too, pumpkin ice cream," Gabriel said tiredly. His wings became visible and he shivered.

"Are you cold, Gabriel? We still have a sleeping bag. If we leave the zipper open, you could cuddle up a little. I'll have to be able to move around in order to groom you, but that doesn't mean you have to be cold."

"I'm not cold," he protested, but he curled up in the sleeping bag anyway. "It's snuggly."

I ran a hand through Gabriel's hair and kissed his forehead before going around to work on his wings. This time I was less stressed, so I took my time, and it was actually pretty relaxing. I couldn't get over how soft Gabriel's feathers were, or the way the light hit them and glimmered all different colors.

After an hour or two, my fingers got too tired, but I wasn't really hungry for lunch yet, and Gabriel was still out like a light. I was still worried about Father's letter, and Gabriel didn't seem to be in any shape to help, so I tried to summon the letter.

It took a minute after I said, "Accio," for anything to happen, but then a little pile of ashes and Father's vial, intact but covered in a thin layer of quickly cooling lava, burst through the glass wall, and our little bubble started to fill with lava. I yelled, "Reparo," but it wasn't strong enough.

I shook Gabriel. "Gabriel, help, we're gonna die," I said. I managed to perform a freezing charm, but my feet and Gabriel's wingtips were now stuck in the lava.

Gabriel snapped his fingers in his sleep, and the lava vanished and the hole in the wall sealed up. I heaved a sigh of relief, then realized he was still asleep.

I pointed my wand at the pile of ashes and muttered, "Reparo." It worked. The letter was intact and legible, if a bit the worse for wear. I read over it, thinking about what to write back.

 _My dear Draco,_ Father began. Yeesh, Dad, not anymore. Well, he's just being fluffy.

 _I write to tell you of good news. To our deepest regret, our great leader Lord Voldemort the Vile has become indisposed._ Haha, yeah. Go, Gabriel.

 _A few of us Death Eaters who were true to him, myself included, have been forced to take over his vision. We have agreed that in light of this change, you may now be welcomed back home. Do not worry about this Gabriel Farbautison. Our henchmen will assist him in his silence, financially, magically, or, if necessary, toxicologically._ I forgot. They were going to try to hurt Gabriel. I wiped a tear out of the corner of my eye. Well, I wouldn't let that happen, and of course hurting Gabriel would be a trick and a half anyway. Unless- unless Dad took me a-away- that would really hurt Gabriel… I started bawling.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Draco, sweetheart? You ok?" Gabriel asked, concerned.


	9. Chapter 9

**Discussion of BDSM, Draco freaking out (a lot), suicidal Draco, Gabriel freaks out archangel style.**

 _Draco_

Great. I was caught. Well- maybe it was worth it. Maybe Gabriel could help.

"Gabriel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up." Well, that was true. Technically. I wasn't entirely sorry he was awake, ok, I wasn't at all sorry, but I _hadn't_ meant to wake him up.

"Well, that's good," Gabriel said, wrapping his arms around me. "I wouldn't want you to be actually sorry you woke me up, but I don't mind if you find it necessary to say so. You know you can always come to me when you're upset, right pumpkin?"

I would've told Gabriel he probably needed his sleep, but he actually seemed a lot more okay. Maybe just because he was worried about me, though.

"Gabriel- it's okay. I can handle it." That was a total lie. I had no idea why I was bothering to lie to Gabriel. Maybe because he seemed to need me to be in charge- well, earlier. Not now, though. It was confusing.

"I love how you think you can lie to a mind reader," Gabriel said gently. "I recovered, ok?"

I wanted to believe him. And then I did. It was annoying, how I couldn't look at Gabriel without completely losing logical control. It seemed like, he could just look at me, and I couldn't believe anything except whatever he was telling me. I hoped Gabriel never tried to hurt me, because I would be totally helpless.

"I'll never hurt you," Gabriel promised. I believed him. Obviously I believed him, what else was going to happen? Okay, so if Gabriel was okay now, I'd better tell him what I was up to.

"I- I was just going to write and tell Dad to quit with the phooey and that I'm staying with you and he can just stuff it. If you don't want me to- I guess I'll go with whatever you decide."

"That could work," Gabriel said gently. "What do you want from this? Cause what we do depends on what you want. You could see your mother again if we went over there. We could liberate England from your dad's _interesting_ rule. Or we could just stay here and not worry about the whole thing. It's not like he can actually do anything against us."

"I want to deck him. I want him to know that he has no right or ability to threaten our relationship, that he couldn't hurt you if he wanted to, and that I'm not gonna follow him around like a beaten House Elf anymore."

"There are lots of ways to send that message," Gabriel said. "It'd be kinda hard to not send that message. Well, while having any fun. There would be boring ways to say whatever we felt like."

What I understood from that was that Gabriel wanted to deck Dad in person. I wasn't sure I liked that idea. It would be awesome to watch Gabriel deck Dad, but- what if I saw Dad and lost my head and just started doing whatever he told me again? That would be horrible.

"I'd drag you back here and lock you up until your brain went back to normal," Gabriel threatened, cuddling me. "Nobody's taking you away. But I don't think it would work like that. Why'd you follow him around in the first place?"

That wouldn't really help. I wasn't worried that I would ever permanently think that was a good idea, but I would hate it while it was happening, and Dad would get that stupid smug look on his face, and Gabriel would freak out, and it would all be my fault.

"Aw, come on," Gabriel said. "It wouldn't be your fault, pumpkin donut. Family makes everything complicated."

My brain was spinning. Obviously it would be my fault. It's my fault, right? People are responsible for their actions. But Gabriel was still _looking_ at me. I was so confused. Everything is my fault, but Gabriel is always right, right?

"You're adorable," Gabriel told me, kissing my cheek. I wrapped my arms around Gabriel's neck and tried to forget why I was confused. It probably didn't matter. Gabriel could fix everything, and he wasn't mad at me, so obviously anything else wasn't too important.

"Kiddo, are you hungry?" Gabriel asked. "I know humans have to eat, like, multiple times a day."

"Yeah, but not if it means you have to put me down," I complained. "I don't care if I die of starvation. That would take a while anyway." I knew I was being ridiculous, but only Gabriel had to hear it anyway.

Gabriel laughed. "I won't put you down. There're ways to feed you while holding you. Spoon feeding you, for example. That sounds fun."

"Okay, good, let's do that," I said happily.

"Thai ok?" Gabriel asked, conjuring some exotic noodle dish.

"Well, I've never had Thai food, but it smells really good," I said. "How are you gonna spoon feed me noodles, though?"  
"Ah, with a fork?" Gabriel guessed. "I mean, it technically wouldn't be spoon feeding then, but the general idea remains the same."

I shrugged. I wouldn't be able to figure out how to spoon feed noodles with a fork, but maybe that's a perk of being an archangel. It wouldn't surprise me. Although he wasn't too great at pouring while stressed- nope. Not gonna think about that. We're eating noodles, Draco, keep your eyes on the noodles. Or Gabriel. That works too.

I took a deep breath and managed to stay focused.

Gabriel offered me a spoonful of noodles. They were not following the rules of gravity, staying on the spoon.

I burst into tears. Apparently banishing a thought from your conscious mind doesn't fix much. Staring at Gabriel wasn't helping, because- he still looked like him when- anyway. I tried to eat the noodles, but it seemed like an impossible task. I hid my face in Gabriel's shirt.

"I'm sorry," Gabriel said. "I wouldn't have done it if I'd realised how much it would hurt you." He rubbed circles on my back.

"I wish you hadn't," I admitted, a little horrified at what I was saying. "It's stupid. I put up with it when it was Dad." I sobbed helplessly.

"Just let it out. I wish there was an easy way to fix this, but there's not," Gabriel said sadly. "I hadn't expected- most of the humans I've seen go through the ceremony didn't react like this, so I don't know what to do."

"M-most of them probably weren't new Death Eaters," I said. "You didn't know, and I thought I could handle it, but I guess that tree was just- more than I could handle. I thought it was going to be over once I drank the potion. I'm sorry. It's not your fault." Unfortunately, I did blame Gabriel, and there was no way to hide that from him. He would just have to survive if he was going to read all my thoughts.

"I'm sorry," Gabriel repeated. "I should've realised, or payed more attention to you while I was going through the ceremony. It's all my fault, and I don't think apologizing is really helping. But for what it's worth, I really am sorry."

"You wouldn't do it again if you had to do it over?" I asked, a little surprised. "I thought it was super important to you."

"It wasn't worth hurting you," Gabriel said. "I wouldn't have even considered it if I'd realised it would cause this."

It would take me a long time to process that fully, I knew. I _knew_ Gabriel wasn't the sort of guy to think stupid stuff like that was a good idea in general, but I'd let myself get confused because I was scared and freaked out. But- maybe… Maybe, if he wouldn't have done it over, maybe he was okay.

I mean, I knew he cared a lot about me, but he's a lot more powerful than me, and he's not a wizard or even a human. So it wouldn't have been that weird, if- if he thought that was ok.

I was crying again. I pushed my forehead into Gabriel's shoulder, hard. I heard myself yelling "I'm sorry" over and over again, which made no sense at all.

"It's ok," Gabriel said soothingly. "You're ok. You can calm down when you want to."

"I can't! I won't!" I yelled. I don't know what got into me. I was being totally irrational, and Dad would never have put up with this kind of behavior. For some reason, I was sure Gabriel wouldn't get mad at me, but I had no reason to think so.

"Don't worry," Gabriel said gently. "It's ok. Everything'll be fine."

 _Gabriel's talking!_ my brain yelled excitedly. On top of all the other things being yelled in my head. I looked up at him, hoping that the distracting thing would happen again. Gabriel looked like he was okay, very worried about me, and nowhere near being angry.

"It's alright, kiddo," Gabriel told me.

All the tension abandoned my body, and I flopped against Gabriel's chest and cried quietly. _Gabriel is not mad, and he says it will be okay_ , I thought. _Gabriel is not mad. Gabriel is awesome. This is going to be okay. He didn't mean to do the pagan thing. He said he wouldn't even consider doing it if he had it do over again. Gabriel must not be anything like Dad. At all. And he said it was going to be okay._

Gabriel cuddled me but didn't say anything. I hugged him and tried to take a deep breath. Hearing how ragged my breath was didn't help, so I ended up crying again, but I wasn't quite as freaked out. Just a lot.

"Maybe soup would be easier," I managed after several minutes.

Gabriel made a bowl of soup appear.

I reached for the spoon weakly, not sure where we were going with this. I _could_ eat soup and sit in Gabriel's lap, but he did sound excited about feeding me by hand, sooo- _idk_?

Gabriel's hand intercepted mine before I reached the spoon. He covered my hand with his own and pushed it away gently. He picked up the spoon and scooped up some soup. I watched the spoon travel toward me, and opened my mouth. Pretty soon I tasted the soup. It was a basic black bean soup with various different kinds of vegetables. I swallowed and watched the spoon travel back to the soup. Eventually I figured out that I could close my eyes, as long as I didn't keep my mouth closed. It was fun to pretend I was asleep, because the last time I was asleep, I was okay and Gabriel was cuddling me, so things were pretty good.

Eventually I was full of soup, and I did feel a lot better. Who knew Gabriel Farbautison, the random rich guy from New Zealand, would turn out to be a total sweetheart who would want to spoon feed me when I'm upset? I sighed tiredly and tried to fall asleep. It didn't work.

But I wanted to be asleep.

How am I going to rest, stop thinking stupid stuff, and cuddle with Gabriel all at once if I can't fall asleep?

"Do you want me to knock you out?" Gabriel asked.

I sighed. "No, cause I'll just have nightmares probably," I said. Unless he wanted to go in my dreams or whatever, but I didn't know if that was a serious offer. _Oh, sorry, you can hear me. Whatever._

"I was serious," Gabriel confirmed gently.

"Well- I-" I stopped. I didn't see any way around this except to ask if he would, but I didn't want to. How can you ask something weird like that? Except, maybe if I did, he wouldn't be as embarrassed to ask for help with his wings.

"Can you?" I begged. "Please?"

This is why I didn't want to ask. I would sound- y'know. Desperate, helpless, pathetic, stupid, whatever. Weak. Not okay, if you're Lucius Malfoy's kid and a Pureblood child of Dark Wizards.

"Oh, stop it. Of course I'll help," Gabriel said. He pressed a kiss to my forehead, and I got really tired and fell asleep.

 _I was in a field full of dinosaurs, but they weren't moving yet. Apparently this is my brain's idea of the stasis of what a dream might be if Gabriel is threatening to change a bunch of stuff. Not scary, but full of both scary and non-scary possibilities if the dinosaurs wake up._

 _I turned and saw Gabriel._

" _Stop what, by the way?" I asked. "Just curious."_

" _Stop thinking you're weak," Gabriel said. "You do it too much. It's not fair to you."_

 _I was confused. "But I am," I said. "Anybody else could have figured out a whole bunch of stuff that I just ran right into without thinking and got- stuck. And it was not good." Could have not been a stuck-up idiot, could have had real friends, could have avoided being a Death Eater, could have refused to kill Dumbledore or figured out a way to do it that would work. But not me. I just go with the flow like it's a mudslide._

" _Yeah, that," Gabriel said. "The last bit. Stop thinking stuff like that. It isn't true, and it's hurting you. Peer pressure is some heavy goop, and with your dad in on it you would've had to have been really stubborn to avoid getting sucked along. It's not all your fault."_

 _I had no idea what Gabriel was talking about. How was I supposed to stop thinking about anything? And what did he expect me to not think? How was I supposed to know? I don't know much. I thought we established that a while back._

" _Why did you agree to dream with me?" I blurted. "Sorry. Didn't mean to say that. You must think I'm dumb; it's obvious that you care about me so I don't know why I'm so jumpy about random stuff."_

 _Then I realized that saying he would think I was dumb was dumb too! I gave up on talking. It was obviously a bad idea._

" _Calm down," he reassured me. "You can talk if you want. It's ok."_

" _No," I said. Said. Yeesh. Can't even plan anything. "I keep saying dumb stuff that doesn't make any sense to anybody. Like you're gonna think I'm dumb for not realizing you don't think I'm dumb. What the hell, Gabriel."_

 _Sorry. I just said hell to an archangel. Oh, well. See what I mean, though?_

 _Gabriel burst out laughing. I jumped. "Yeesh, don't scare me. Why are you laughing at me?"_

" _Sorry, sorry, it's just- your face- and then you thought it was a problem that you swore in front of an angel, which is really funny, cause I swear all the time. I mean, avoid swearing at Michael. He'll just give you the mildly irritated fussbudget look, but he can be kind of annoying about that stuff. And Castiel would take you entirely literally, so don't swear in front of him."_

" _Hell's not swearing!" I protested. "Okay, okay fine, whatever. It's not a big deal whether you think that's swearing. I'm just- nervous. So I'm freaking out about random stupid stuff. Maybe if I knew what was really bugging me, I would stop worrying about random things, but then I would probably have a meltdown again, sooo… I dunno. Whatever you want to do. It still helps to sleep even if we have big discussions all night. Or day, it was a day, right? As long as we have some fluffy gloopy happy stuff at the end so we leave my brain calmed down, sleeping will help."_

 _I glanced at the dinosaurs. They were getting bigger, but there were fewer of them and they weren't showing any signs of moving. My best guess was maybe my brain didn't have a lot of room for dinosaurs with me focused on Gabriel. What I didn't know was how well he would be able to control my dreams, if we ever finished talking. But I trusted Gabriel. Okay, only when I was thinking straight or in physical contact with him, or looking at him, but basically yeah._

 _Okay, so I wasn't always trusting Gabriel all those times either. Big deal. Yeesh, me, will you please stop obsessing about this; it's getting boring._

" _Gabriel? Hey, do something, I'm bored," I ordered. Then I realized I sounded like I was ordering him around. Which I guess I was. Not the plan. I would rather have Gabriel in charge, but he wouldn't yell, be bossy, or hit me, so it wasn't always happening._

" _You want me to yell at you and hit you?" Gabriel asked, baffled. "What?"_

" _Well… no," I said, ashamed. "That would be really dumb. I'm just- I- well, that's how Dad ran the show, and I don't know how else you do it. But you don't even correct me when I accidentally try to boss you around or stuff. So I don't know what you want me to do. Am I supposed to be in charge? Are you? Are we doing some crazy equals shit? I'm so confused."_

" _I hadn't thought about it like that," Gabriel said. "I don't want to control you, but I suppose I wouldn't mind being in charge." He stepped closer and ran his fingers along my cheek. "Would you like that?"_

 _I leaned into his touch and started crying. "I don't know," I sobbed. "Maybe this is some stupid survivor thing or something. Maybe normal people are supposed to want to be equals with everybody or in charge or something."_

" _I don't think that's how it works," Gabriel said. "A lot of relationships are unbalanced, and both partners are completely happy with it. Let's give it a try." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead._

 _I was terrified. But I also wanted to trust Gabriel, and I had trusted him earlier today before, so I didn't know what had changed. Except- what if he came up with scary rules I had to follow or put me in handcuffs or something? Was I supposed to be okay with signing a blank sheet of paper? I didn't even know what he thought being in an unbalanced relationship would mean._

 _Also, it got worse. Not only was I terrified, but my downstairs brain was lighting up. Not good. Now Gabriel will think I have a fear kink or something, and then who knows what he might do? So that just made me more scared._

" _Sit down with me," Gabriel said. "Let's talk about this."_

 _I shook my head numbly. "No," I said. "You'll- you'll just think-" A sob caught in my throat, and I stopped talking. Dreaming was officially worse than being awake ad infinitum. I never got the stupid idea to talk about stuff like this in front of Gabriel while I was awake._

" _Draco, pumpkin, calm down," Gabriel said gently, rubbing my shoulder. "It's ok. Just listen to me. I promise not to do anything you don't want me to."_

 _I rested my cheek on Gabriel's chest. "It's not ok, and I can't calm down," I said. "People don't just calm down because they want to. I can't."_

" _That's ok. You're alright. You don't even have to try to calm down if you don't want to."_

" _I just want to be anywhere else. But if I leave you, it'll just get worse."_

" _Do you really want time apart?" Gabriel asked sadly._

" _No, are you stupid? I want time where we're not discussing this stuff. Sorry. I didn't mean for you to take it that way. It's just- when two people can both handle being away from each other, which neither of us remotely can, they usually separate when they don't want to have a discussion, that's all."_

" _Then let's talk about something else," Gabriel said. "Any ideas?"_

 _I clung to Gabriel. "No," I said. "I dunno. Why'd you want to talk about- that?" I blushed furiously, and my instincts told me to run away, but I ignored them._

" _I'm- confused," Gabriel admitted. "What are we talking about?"_

" _My, um- possible fear kink. Which we are not using. EVER."_

" _I seriously doubt it's a fear kink," Gabriel said. "You've been scared a lot over the last few days, and you've never reacted like that before."_

" _I know, but if you thought it was, it would be the end of the world. I would die if you tried to hurt me and thought it was fun. I- thought that was what you wanted to talk about, but now I'm not sure."_

" _Sweetheart, anything that hurts you hurts me, and I'd never think hurting you was fun. It's not going to happen. Believe me?"_

" _Not even if I was turned on at the same time? Sex makes people do stupid stuff."_

" _Look, I don't think you're ever going to want to do BDSM stuff," Gabriel said. "But even if you did we would have to thoroughly discuss everything long before we actually tried anything. I'll never hurt you in any way you wouldn't agree to while fully aware and ok."_

" _How are you ever going to know I'm okay? I agree to a lot of stupid shit that I don't want to do. I agreed to kill Dumbledore, and you know how I feel about that. Be serious, Gabriel. Nobody ever knows if they're okay or not."_

" _Did you want to kill Dumbledore? Or did you just agree to please your father and his friends?" Gabriel asked._

" _Look, I didn't want to, but I pretended I did, okay? And I fooled some people. Possibly including my father, but I bet he just pretended to buy it so our family would look good- er, you know, to other Death Eaters."_

" _Did you forget I'm a mind reader, pumpkin?" Gabriel asked gently. "I'll know if you're pretending to be ok with something that you're not. And I promise not to pressure you into anything sexual you don't want. I don't_ want _to hurt you."_

" _Yeah, and what if I have myself fooled? Or part of me wants it or some stupidness. Fuck my life, Gabriel. I never know what I want or what I'm okay with. Why do you think I'm such a mess?"_

" _Draco, how do you think mind reading works?" Gabriel asked. "I don't only see a piece of your mind, I see every thought as you think it. Well, if I'm focusing. But if it's something as important as this, I'll focus on every part of your mind I can see for days to make sure there isn't any part of you that doesn't want it. I don't want to risk hurting you again."_

" _I'm pretty sure that's not how BDSM is supposed to work, though," I complained. "The point is there's tension because only 65-98% of the person wants it to happen. The rest is freaking out and adding tension or some stupidness."_

" _If you're right, then we aren't going to be doing anything with BDSM," Gabriel said. "I won't be able to want to do something that's hurting you. It just wouldn't work."_

" _I don't think it's actually BDSM if both people are totally okay with it. But- could you just, like, promise that we won't try anything vaguely BDSM for maybe like five years? Then I- I don't know. I would feel better."_

" _I'm not sure we're actually talking about the same thing when we say BDSM," Gabriel said. "You're not talking about the creepy hardcore stuff with- like- whips and hitting and stuff, right?"_

" _I don't know. A lot of things are BDSM. Like, knives, candle wax, not being able to breathe, handcuffs, spanking, I don't know, a lot of stuff. I don't even know which stuff you're thinking about possibly ever doing."_

" _Handcuffs are kind of nasty," Gabriel complained. "Padded ones, maybe, but I was thinking more along the lines of scarves or ribbons. And spanking can be fun, as long as it's not hard enough to leave too many bruises. The other stuff on your list, forget it. I couldn't do that to you even if you wanted it."_

 _So Gabriel wanted to spank me hard enough to leave bruises. Possibly ever. I was having serious doubts about letting him decide anything, but what was I going to do?_

 _Gabriel groaned. "Can we just drop the whole BDSM thing and talk about it in ten years when you're calmer?"_

 _Okay. Drop it for ten years, that would work. I already asked for five and he ignored me, so ten is fine. He'll probably forget about it and we'll never have to worry about it again anyway._

" _Okay," I said shakily. "What did you mean about being in charge or whatever? I kind of freaked out and sidetracked us. And then I guess you got confused, and then I misunderstood you and freaked out way more. But anyway…"_

" _I don't have it all figured out entirely," Gabriel said. "I thought we'd talk about what we both wanted and come up with how exactly this should work."_

 _I heaved a sigh of relief. "_ That's _what you wanted to talk about?" I said. I giggled helplessly. "Gabriel, I'm so sorry. I totally misunderstood you. I'm so dumb."_

" _OK?" Gabriel said. "I don't remember what I said, but I'm sure it was confusing. You're not dumb."_

 _I blushed and giggled some more, then tried to hide my face. "I thought you wanted to talk about fear kinks," I squeaked. "It's stupid. I should have known- it was some innocuous thing, with you coming up with it. It just makes more sense that you would be Dad than you, I guess, cause that's what I'm used to. I'm sorry. It's dumb."_

" _Oh, that's what you thought?" Gabriel asked, shocked. "Oh dear. I'm so sorry. I never meant to give you that impression. Ugh, that's awful!" And then he started giggling too._

" _I know, right? It must have seemed like I totally overreacted! It just confuses me sometimes when you insist on commenting out loud on my thoughts and then I never know whether you're responding to what I said or what I thought, you know? So I started assuming you were commenting on my thoughts, cause that made sense for a while, but then I guess it got me into trouble. If I wasn't freaking out I could have asked, I guess. I just- didn't think of it, and then I was freaking out anyway."_

" _I sometimes have a hard time telling the difference between thoughts and words," Gabriel admitted. "And I try to be careful and get stuff right, but I still end up saying stuff that doesn't make sense or have reasonable context. Sorry."_

" _Well, if I know it's ambiguous, and don't just assume something awful, I'll tell you and you can clarify. And- things should get easier. I'll eventually figure out that you're not like Dad, I mean, y'know, know that in all contexts and be able to apply it. I mean, I know you're not like Dad, but I don't have it all figured out yet. So, when I get to know you better, I'll probably calm down and stop assuming disaster."_

" _Yeah," Gabriel said, smiling warmly at me. "When you think about it, we haven't known each other for long at all. It's been- what, a week?"_

 _Wow. Gabriel was so- cool-looking when he's like smiling right at me- ok, calm down. Seriously, me. What did he say again? Nothing important, I hope._

" _I love you so much," Gabriel said._

The dream faded, and I started to wake up. I was cuddled up on Gabriel's chest again. I took a deep breath. It was just a dream. Wait, that means _that_ awkward conversation never happened! I almost giggled with relief, before it dawned on me that I had asked Gabriel to be in my dream, so I guess the whole thing did happen.

 _But I was so dumb! And it was horribly awkward! And I just spouted whatever idiotic fears popped into my head. If I'd been awake, none of that would have happened. Ew, I'm so dumb and terrified in my dreams, and-_ Gabriel _saw that._ Not good.

Gabriel's eyes were open. I kinda freaked out and- okay I _know_ this was a terrible idea and Gabriel would almost certainly think I was dumping him, end of the world- I scrambled away and sort of tried to hide by going to the opposite side of the bubble. I know, disaster. Gabriel would think I was dumping him, and then I could forget him being in charge at all or even okay for days. He'd probably even stopped reading my thoughts, so there was no way I could make him believe me that this wasn't dumping him. I was just panicking and I don't know why I was behaving this way.

The idea that Gabriel was going to think I was dumping him again was so awful that I tried to hide my head between my knees and under my arms, screaming, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" as if that would help.

"Whoa, whoa," Gabriel said. "Calm down. It's ok."

Oh, right. Gabriel was in charge, so if I freaked out, he would just handle it. I forgot. That was dumb.

"I'm sorry, I thought you were going to think I was dumping you, it was dumb, I'm sorry, I love you, I'm so stupid, please don't ever think I'm leaving you listen to me freaking out I sound like a-"

Gabriel scooted over to me and put his hand over my mouth. "Draco, it's ok," he said. "I love you, and I'm not going to think you're stupid just because you're freaking out." He put his arms around me and took his hand from my mouth.

I was still talking, it just wasn't coming out of my mouth while he had his hand over it- "bipolar person in a manic episode what is wrong with me please say you will still like me I-" I stopped and started to process what had happened. Apparently Gabriel was not freaked out, and he was taking charge! I had some kind of strong reaction to that, but it wasn't exactly a sexual response or anything- I just. I have no idea. It seemed important and like it was a good thing. Beyond that, don't ask me.

Then he stupidly decides to take his hand off my mouth, although I wouldn't guarantee that I processed that at the same time it happened.

Please don't blame me, I don't know why I do stuff when I'm this excited and freaked out.

"Put your hand back on my mouth, stupid," I said. Then I realized I may have just sounded ridiculous, challenged his new authority, or both. I watched to see how he would react. This is important.

Gabriel blinked, rolled his eyes, and kissed me.

I froze. I had no idea why Gabriel kissed me or what it meant, and I couldn't even figure out how I was reacting. What was going on exactly? Is kissing even relevant to this situation?

Ummm? Okay. Whatever. I'm not responsible to handle everything anymore anyway, so it's whatever.

Gabriel pulled back and massaged the back of my neck. He stared into my eyes, seemingly waiting for something. Not that I was really paying attention. By this point I was just confused, but Gabriel was right there and seemed calm, so I wasn't too worried.

Gabriel leaned up and kissed my forehead lightly. Aha, something I understood. This means, "I love you, you're so cute, it's okay to calm down now." I can do that. I do still need to know a lot about how this is going to work, but for now we're okay.

He rubbed my shoulder. "You ok now, pumpkin?"

"I guess," I said. "That was the weirdest conversation I've ever had in my life, in that dream, though."

"You want to talk about the whole thing and how it's going to work?" Gabriel asked.

"You mean the you being in charge thing, not the that conversation was weird thing, right?" I checked. Just to force my brain to chill. I mean, duuuuh. How _it's_ going to work is hard to misconstrue.

"Sorry," Gabriel said, blushing. "Um, yeah that."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you. Please don't think I'm mad at you or anything."

"I just need to work on my pronouns," Gabriel said. "Don't worry, it's not your fault, kiddo."

"I'm worried that you'll think I'll think it's your fault!" I protested. "Wait, never mind. I'm probably just confusing you. Sorry."

Gabriel giggled and kissed my cheek.

I scooted around to sit beside Gabriel. "Okay, you want to discuss it, right?"

"Yeah. So, I'm not entirely sure where to start. Uh, what's worrying you the most, I guess?"

"Uh, I dunno. That's probably a bad place to start. I'm too good at freaking out. Guess I have an overactive imagination."

"That's a good point, sweetheart," Gabriel said. "Where do you feel the most comfortable starting?"

"I dunno. Well, you said some people have- unequal relationships- and are happy with them, right? So what were you thinking about when you said that?"

"I was mostly picturing Kathy and Arthur, actually," Gabriel said. "They were just a couple of humans I befriended back in- uh, a while ago. Don't remember exactly."

"So- uh- what was unequal about their relationship?"

"Arthur had a soft personality," Gabriel started. "And he didn't like making decisions and having to handle things. So Kathy did it for him. She would tell him what to do, and talk to him and make sure he was ok with everything, and- I don't know, stuff. And they were really happy together. It's probably the best relationship I've seen in all my time on Earth."

"Huh," I said. I was trying not to be ridiculous and assume he was accusing me of having a soft personality or something. "I- I just- well, I can make some decisions, but I'm just scared that I'm going to botch everything, and- the last time I was happy was when I thought you were automatically in charge and I had met you and realized you were actually- really nice and were gonna care about me and stuff. So I guess I kind of wanted to go back to that."

"So you want me to be kind to you and care about you, and whatever in charge means," Gabriel noted. "The first two are given, and I just need you to explain what you mean by in charge. So tell me about that."

I burst into tears. Right before the most important part of the conversation. And now I was sure Gabriel was going to be too busy trying to make sure I was okay, which I was, to actually have the conversation. Which would probably repeat itself every time we try to have this conversation, until I die of waiting.

"Hey," Gabriel said gently. He wiped some of the tears from my cheeks and wrapped his arm around me. "Talk to me."

I took a deep breath and dissolved into giggles. SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! Aaaaagh! I tried to calm down. It took me a minute, but eventually I calmed down.

"Sorry," I said. "I don't know why this happens to me. Stress, I guess. What was the question, again?"

"What is it that you mean when you say you want me to be in charge?" Gabriel repeated patiently.

"Okay, well, you have to stay calm, because to get the picture across I kind of have to explain how I thought things would be before I realized you were okay. So it might get scary, and I need you to not freak out, think that I'm asking you to act like that, or worry so much about me that- well, I guess you can't help that, but please remember that I've come a long way. Okay?"

"Alright," Gabriel said gently, drawing random patterns on my arm with his finger.

"Okay. I guess the complete picture kind of starts with my family. My mom- does not wear the pants in the family, let's put it that way. Basically, my dad is kind of stuck-up and power hungry, and he kind of wants to rule the world, but he definitely ruled our house, especially in front of people. He didn't mind if I got into certain kinds of trouble, if they made me look like he wanted me to, but I was expected to keep my cool, unless I was throwing a small tantrum in an appropriate context, and mostly just always do what he said. Unless we were faking. It was annoying, but at least I knew where we were at, even when- even when things got nasty. I became a Death Eater, it was a-awf-f-ful," I started wailing. Damn. I couldn't even explain the first third of what I needed to without freaking out.

Gabriel rubbed my shoulder. "Hey, it's ok. It's over."

"Yeah, sorta," I said, marginally more calmly. "I- ok, I'm not okay, I just- this is important."

"You can stop if you think saying more will hurt you, but until then you're right. Tell me."

"Okay." I took a few deep breaths. "So, where was I? Oh, yeah. Basically, I didn't make a lot of decisions just for myself, and I was used to knowing what was up and what was expected of me, even if I couldn't do it, and what was going to happen, until I got on the plane to go to you. And even then, I mean, I was scared, ok, terrified, because I didn't know what you were going to be like, but I thought I did know that you were pretty much going to be in control of my life, which, I guess maybe not, but I'm not sure. I mean, I don't know how I got from 'I'm being married off to a rich guy so Voldemort won't kill me' to 'I'm being sold to some dude who will hopefully not be awful' or something- I'm not even sure exactly how to put this or what I mean- but basically, I thought pretty much how the rest of my life was going to be was completely dependent on you. So, of course I was scared, cause I knew zilch about you."

"That makes sense," Gabriel said unhappily, biting his lip. He rested his head against my shoulder and held me more tightly.

"I know, I'm sorry," I said. "I know it's pretty awful and you wouldn't like hearing it, but I don't know any other reliable way to explain what's going on with me, especially because I'm not sure how I feel, just where I'm coming from. So, part three. I get off the plane, pick up my luggage, and there you are. I was still scared, but I started to notice that you probably weren't an asshole. I could see you- watching me. Very closely. And trying to hide it and pretend to be being friendly. My interpretation was that you were concerned about me and wanted me to feel safe with you, which I would say now was probably true. So that was a good sign. And then- things just got better. Every time I thought you _might_ do something awful, you didn't, and I started to get to know you and stuff, and being around you was actually fun. Which made me think that, a), you were probably not going to make my life miserable, and b), I could maybe actually be happy. With you. And stuff. So then, I guess, I still thought you were pretty much, like, going to be in control of whether I was okay, but it seemed like you wouldn't hurt me on purpose, and you really cared about me and stuff. And- that was reassuring. And maybe it's just because I don't know what to do if nobody's bossing me around or something, or maybe I was just relieved that you weren't going to hurt me, but- then, you, like, freaked out and ran away for six or nine hours, and turned into a little miserable pile when you thought I was leaving, and I guess I felt like you- couldn't just handle stuff. Like I had to be able to make sure we were both okay at unpredictable times and stuff, but maybe it doesn't have to be like that. So that's kind of where I'm at."

"That was a- wing-related freak-out," Gabriel explained, ducking his head. "I mean- I have other problems, too, but- having- well-cared for wings for an angel is supposed to be a sign that they're in a loving, healthy relationship- and I wouldn't even let you look at my wings. But it's better now."

"Okay," I said. "Well, I'm sorry your wings were making you miserable, but that doesn't really help me figure out what's up with my feelings or how we should handle this."

Gabriel tilted his head to the side and studied me. "Let's take a rain-check," he said. "You're stressed."

I made a face. "OK, whatever," I said. "You don't have a plan, and I have less than not a plan. I don't know what we're supposed to be doing. This is terrible." I wondered if Gabriel was going to get angry or start crying or something.

"That's my point," Gabriel said. "You need a chance to calm down before we can go through this logically and decide something."

"Well, good luck," I said miserably. "I don't have a great track record for calming down because we _don't_ have a plan!" I turned to stomp off and realized there was nowhere to go anyway. Also, I was supposed to be staying with Gabriel, lest he think I'm dumping him, but right now I didn't care. I was steamed. I could have cheerfully tortured a semi-truck.

Gabriel pulled his knees up to his chest and gave me a patient, mildly irritated look.

OK, not my best moment. I smacked Gabriel. My hand kinda hurt.

I should have said something like, "Sorry, are you okay?" but instead I just glared at him. I don't know what got into me.

"Ouch," Gabriel said sarcastically. "That _really_ hurt. Yeah, no. Try harder next time."

"Yeah, me too," I said, wincing. "I- I just- I just- I dunno. Maybe I need to go split some firewood. Not that I necessarily know how to use an ax safely. This stupid bubble doesn't even have room to pace."

"Humans do tend to go stir crazy after a while in a small space," Gabriel realised. "Let me increase the size…" He did some kind of weird thing. It was weird. Suddenly the bubble had like a flat bottom and was about an acre. With some forest in it. For some reason, instead of wanting to run around immediately, I just stood there. Maybe I was surprised it was so big.

"If you made it taller, our house would fit in here," I realized. "Must be a big volcano."

"I modeled it off Mount Jalapeño from this play I watched," Gabriel said proudly. "It's the hottest active volcano in a Peter Pan prequel play world."

"Wait- you cooked up your _own_ volcano? Or we're actually in Peter Pan prequel play world?" I asked. I was feeling really confused and maybe a little dizzy.

"I just really liked the play," Gabriel said. "So, I made a lifesize model of the set piece. The outside's really cool too; it's got igneous rock slides and forest fires and candy cane patches."

"Um-" I turned around, looking for Gabriel, and stood a little closer to him. "So- where is this? Did you put the volcano somewhere in New Zealand? Is it on an island you created? What?"

Gabriel stood up and put his arm around me comfortingly. "It's in a pocket dimension," he explained. "Sort of a little extra piece of Earth you can't reach without wings. So, yeah, an island I created is a close enough explanation."

"OK," I said. I was sure what I was picturing wasn't how it actually worked, but no biggie. "How is our house doing? Is D- um, is Mr. Malfoy attacking it yet? Cause I imagine that he's probably not going to leave us a lot of house if we don't keep an eye on it."

"I can check," Gabriel said. His eyes lit up blue for a moment. "Huh," Gabriel noted. "Well, your dad doesn't know how to handle being ignored. It's only been like, four days, for crying out loud."

I shivered. "What'd he do?" I asked.

"I think he was trying to smash all breakable objects and redecorate for us?" Gabriel guessed. "Some random stuff is broken, and the piano's on the porch."

"Well- that sounds like Dad. I guess we shouldn't be surprised. Thank goodness we weren't there- oh, no, Gabriel, Lenny and Raspberries! Are they okay?"

"They're fine," Gabriel reassured me. "The magic moved them away as soon a there was a threat. They're in Uzbekistan."

"Uzbekistan? Huh. Well, I don't know what they'll do there. You could always bring them here."

"There's a nice lake there, and I have it temperature controlled so the change won't shock them," Gabriel said. "I don't think they'd like the middle of a volcano much."

"Okay," I said. I could tell I was kind of standing really still so I was as small as possible. I hoped Gabriel wouldn't be mad that I was scared for no reason again.

"Pumpkin, don't worry about it," Gabriel said, running his fingers along my cheek. "I handled the big leader guy in two seconds, I can deal with his most pathetic minions. Except the minions from the movie were actually cute, so maybe that isn't a fair comparison."

I pulled away. "I'm Voldemort's most pathetic minion," I wailed.

"No," Gabriel said, confused. "You aren't Voldemort's minion, you aren't pathetic, and you're definitely cute. It's ok, sweetheart, really. Calm down."

I turned and stumbled away about ten feet before crumpling into a little miserable ball. I didn't know whether I wanted Gabriel to come over or not. If he did, I might just push him away, but if he didn't, I would probably just be more miserable.

Gabriel knelt beside me and pulled me into his arms. "It's ok, pumpkin," he told me, rocking gently. "There's nothing to worry about, and you're really ok."

"You think saying pumpkin fixes everything," I accused. Not that it didn't. But that didn't mean I wasn't going to complain. I had to complain about _something_.

"Go away," I said out loud, but inside I was yelling _Don't go away_ , so he was probably just going to be darn confused.

Gabriel giggled and kissed my cheek. "Have you ever tried being internally consistent?" he teased. "But really, you're fine. And I'm not going anywhere, pumpkin sodapop."

"You call this fine?" I muttered, annoyed. "Saying that doesn't make it true. Earlier I tried to hit you. Now I'm curled up in a little ball- OVER NOTHING, GABRIEL!" I yelled the last part so loudly that my own ears hurt.

"Mm-hm," Gabriel said, tapping my forehead. He made my ears stop hurting. I wanted them to hurt. Well, no, I didn't. I dunno.

 _I'm so confused, Gabriel. I don't even remember what I'm upset about, but I'm so mad about- nothing- that I could probably attack a bear. I would just die miserably. I dunno. Then you would probably freak out, but I'm already freaked out. I just don't know._

"I'm not going to let you attack a bear, so it's a moot point," Gabriel told me. "It's going to be ok. Everything's fine, and you can calm down when you want."

I giggled at the part about the bear. Only Gabriel. I hid my face in his shirt and grabbed fistfuls of it.

 _I'm stupid_ , I reminded him. _In case you forgot. Not that you believe me._

He kissed the top of my head. "Never gonna believe that, pumpkin."

 _Why am I upset like all the time?_ I asked. _It's dumb. I hate it._

"I don't think you felt safe expressing any of your stress and fear before," Gabriel said. "So now it's all pouring out at once. It's not dumb. It's perfectly normal and a nice step towards you being mentally healthy again soon."

Well. That didn't make me feel a lot better, but at least Gabriel seemed to think he understood what was going on with me. Which meant it had some kind of logical explanation. Okay.

"Well, what am I going to do?" I asked, my voice a little muffled by the shirt. "Do I just have to wait a few months and hope I feel better?"

"Just take it one day at a time," Gabriel said. "And yeah, hope you'll feel better."

"I don't know if I can handle five seconds at a time," I complained. "It's awful. I hate myself."

Gabriel winced. "Please don't hate yourself," he begged. "I love you, and it's a nightmare when you-" he cut himself off, sighing. "If you can't handle five seconds at a time, take it one heartbeat at a time. Just moments, chasing other moments…"

"I don't wanna exist," I said. "It hurts too much."

Gabriel made a choked off sound like a cry. He didn't answer, he just held me more tightly, as though I was going to vanish.

I let go with one hand and tried to wipe the hot tears off my face. "I told you I should have gone to a hospital or something," I whimpered.

Gabriel started crying.

"I'm sorry," I said. "Dad should have warned you I was a mess before he arranged for you to marry me." I didn't realize how awful that would sound until I said it.

Gabriel released me and stood up so quickly I fell over. Tears poured down his cheeks, but his eyes were almost glowing with anger. I cowered.

" _Shut up_ ," Gabriel howled in a voice that could break glass. " _Just- just stop-_ " And he turned and ran away.


End file.
